This is everything that Forrest Gump was, only with a more fantasy element. This is one of the most underrated films in this millennium. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t like this movie at the very least. I am pumped to watch this, and probably tear up like a bitch at the end. No shame! One last thing, I have a theory that you can find pieces of every season of American Horror Story, at least the first 4 seasons, in this film. I’ll be looking for elements from season 5, Hotel. OK, one more one last thing. This fucking film is loaded with amazing actors. I will do my best to let you know the big names when we get to them.
Start Film
We start off with Ed Bloom telling his story about catching this big fish, obviously. Ed Bloom is played by the great Albert Finney. He is Married to Sandra Bloom, played by the great Jessica Lange. His son, Will Bloom, is played by Billy Crudup, and he is married to Josephine, played by Marion Cotillard, who you should know from Christopher Nolan flicks. That’s only half of the big names in this. This is directed by Tim Burton and may be his best film, and I say that with all due respect to his other heavy hitters. But I digress.
Will is clearly embarrassed by his dad’s tall tales. Jessica Lange is still beautiful. Will bitches to Ed about how the story barely had him in it, and he has heard it so many times. The story was told at this gala that was celebrating Will, so he was a little hot-headed about it. After that night, he didn’t talk to his dad for 3 years. This is a story about Ed’s life, and tough to tell myth from fact, but they intertwine too much.
We now meet the younger version of Ed Bloom, played by Ewan McGregor. We see him catching the big fish and getting his wedding ring back. We start at his birth, and he shot right out and slid all the way down the hallway. It was cheesy, but it worked.
Back to the current time, and Will gets a call from his mom. It’s about his father. They are going to stop chemo on his father. Will and Josephine are gonna fly out that day, and Josephine is VERY pregnant. On the plane, Will has some flashbacks to his childhood.
Young Will asks his daddy about the witch story. So Ed tells the story. When Ed was with 4 of his friends, they visited the witch’s house. One of the boys talks about how she has a glass eye. They are in Alabama. The glass eye supposedly has mystical powers, it can see how you’re gonna die. Ed is going to get that witch’s eye. Ed is a pretty fearless boy. The witch opens the door and the witch opens the door, and she is played by Helena Bonham Carter. Ed tells her that some of his friends want to see the eye. So she obliges, and they all see how they are gonna die. One was on the toilet with a Playboy. Haha. Ed talks about if you know how you’re gonna die, you know that you can survive everything else. So she obliges. He sees, and he seems content with that knowledge.
Back to modern-day. Ed isn’t eating much per his mom. Dr. Bennett, played by the great Robert Guillaume, is there checking on Ed. He tells Josephine that her baby will be a boy. Sandra tells Will to try to get his dad to drink an Ensure, just for nutrients at least. Man, that has to be depressing. Haha, Ed tells Will that he is in for a surprise, and talks about how the baby will be. Ed tells Will that it’s not his time because he knows when it’s his time. Ed tells him that it’s a surprise. Ed is just a funny, good-hearted guy. Will wants to know the truth behind the stories. Ed knows that he is dying, but the way that he goes will be far more unusual. Flashback time.
When Will got the chickenpox, he had to stay in bed for a week. Well, Ed had to stay in bed for 3 years when he was a kid. Ed hits his growth spurt suddenly in church. His muscles and bones were expanding too fast, like a goldfish. Once he was healthy, he became quite the athlete, and we see this one dude who is constantly disappointed. This part is so cheesy, but it’s very much a Burton film in these regards. He was just a well-known individual in town, but suddenly a giant showed up in town. The townsfolk are all talking about it, and the mayor wants somebody to talk to him, so Ed volunteers to do it. So Ed goes to the giant’s cave, and the giant wants him to go away. So out comes the giant, played by Matthew McGrory, who you may know from Rob Zombie’s House of 1,000 and Devil’s Rejects, he played Tiny and he died during or shortly after the making of Devil’s Rejects. Anyway, his name is Karl in this film. Ed decided to throw a rock at his head since he already knew how he was going to die, this clearly wouldn’t kill him. Ed tells Karl that he is there as a human sacrifice. Karl doesn’t want to eat him or anybody. Ed wants Karl to join him in leaving the town and head to the city. The town holds a nice farewell send-off. The witch is there, talks to him before he leaves.
So on the road, they had 2 ways to go, the old haunted road, or the newer used road. Ed says that he will take the shorter haunted route and gave Karl his backpack to ensure Karl that he wasn’t running away from him. Well, Ed gets mad at a crow and throws a rock at it, which hits a beehive instead. classic. He then comes up to a place that has jumping spiders, Ewwww. Fuck that, I would have run the fuck out of there for the 10 seconds that I can run, and then die of a heart attack. But he ventured forth and found this bright, pristine-looking village with buildings on both sides, and the greenest grass ever.
Some guy comes out and says that they weren’t expecting him quite yet. I think the town’s name is Spectre. This is like the greatest little town ever. Everybody is super friendly. The last guy that came from Ed’s hometown was a poet named Norther Winslow, played by the incomparable, Steve Buscemi. He is one of my 10 favorite actors. Jenny, the young girl, she steals Ed’s shoes while he is eating some pie. She ties them together and throws them up on the line that you see when you first visit. Lots of shoes up there. This is like the most perfect place.
At night, Ed sees a beautiful nude lade out in the lake, and a snake coming right for her. So Ed goes right after that snake. As soon as he gets it, she dives in the water and disappears, and the snake is a branch. Jenny is there, and she knows about the lady. Apparently, she is actually a fish, and Ed is covered in leeches. Ed is 18, Jenny is 8. She likes Ed. Now the town is having a barefoot hoe-down. Everybody wears light-colored clothes. “Roses are red, violets are blue. I love Spectre……” and Norther cannot finish his poem yet again. Hahaha. The dance sequence is great. Ed decides that he has to leave. Jenny asks how he will make it without his shoes, but he apologizes and says he has to. Everybody wants him to stay. Jenny makes him promise to come back, and he says that he will when he is supposed to. It’s like leaving Heaven. I remember when Heaven left me. Haha, my dating history is awful.
His journey at night is fairly awful, getting attacked by trees, not Evil Dead bad, but still bad. He knows that it’s not how he dies, so he just says screw it. He meets back up with Karl, and they journey onward.
In the present day, the 4 of them are having dinner. Josephine has some photos in the upcoming Newsweek. Old Ed talks about how people in the Congo speak French well. He is too funny. I love him. At night, Josephine checks in on Ed. Ed tells her about his dreams. One dream, a crow told him that his aunt was dead, and sure enough, the aunt died. A few weeks later, the crow told him that his father would die. His dad didn’t believe it, outwardly, but he was obviously shaken. Marion has great eyes. Anyway, the whole day, his dad is worried about what’s going to happen. He gets home to his wife and says how he had a lousy day, and the wife says “You think that’s bad, well the milkman dropped dead on the porch today.” And then Ed has to follow it up by saying that his mom was banging the Milkman. I laughed out loud, by myself. She wants to take a picture of him, and she wants to see pictures of Ed’s wedding, but there are none. And here’s that story.
We are at a circus with younger Ed. And who is the ringmaster of all of this? Danny DeVito as Amos Calloway. Amos is putting on a show and has a new act to show off, a colossus. Out of the box comes this large bald man who breathes fire. The audience sits in amazement, and Ed is unimpressed, so he gets the spotlight put on for Karl. Colossus looks befuddled. Amos just stars. The show ends. And Ed says that when you meet the love of your life, time stops. Well, he saw her, and time did in fact stop. She is beautiful. When time starts up again, time goes by really fast to catch up, and now, he has no idea who that gorgeous lady was. Poor guy.
Amos finally talks to Karl, and he is trying to get Karl into a contract with him. Haha, Amos’ helper is Mr. Soggybottom. What a fantastic name. Karl signs with Amos. Ed comes in, looking sad. Ed says that he just saw the woman that he is gonna marry. Ed pledges to spend every day of his life trying to find her. Amos knows exactly who she is. Amos tells Ed to forget about it, he has no job, no nothing here. He was a big fish in a small pond. Ed’s plan is to marry her, and that’s a good enough start. He wants to be hired by Amos. Ed says that he will work for free if Amos will tell Ed who she is. So every month, Amos will reveal one clue. Ed gets to do some crazy jobs, putting his head in a lion’s mouth, washing a very large man in a tub, and so on. He gets his first hint, she loves daffodils, is going to college, likes music, and so on. Just some generic info. So one night, he couldn’t wait any longer, and he goes to Amos’ trailer, and it is shaking quite a bit. He opens toe door and is attacked by a black wolf. Mr. Soggybottom comes out and he loads a pistol, and with a tear in his eye, he takes a shot, but misses the wolf and hits Ed. So naturally, Ed plays fetch with the wolf.
The next morning, there’s bare ass Amos with the branch in his mouth. Amos tells Ed that he could have any girl he wants, but then reveals the girl’s name. Her name is Sandra Templeton and she goes to Auburn college. Off Ed goes to meet up that pretty lady. He takes 3 trains to find her, and of course, he has flowers like any gentleman and is in a nice blue suit. He knocks on a sorority house door, and Sandra answers. He professes his love to her, and she is a looker. He tells her that he is destined to marry her. She apologizes, she’s engaged to be married. Imagine dreaming to marry a beautiful girl who is engaged. That’s gotta be heartbreaking, especially if you believe in fate, destiny, and having a soul mate. She is engaged to Don Price, the guy who was always sad in those early sports flashbacks. Well, Ed gives up for like 5 seconds before loudly professing his love to her, then in class he does, and then in the clouds is an I love Sandra message. She wakes up one day to see Ed standing in a field of daffodils, and he got them from 5 states. It’s an amazing visual. Don shows up and Sandra makes Ed promise that he wouldn’t hurt Don. Don clobbers Ed, and Ed takes it. We get to see Don’s Playboy death again. Sandra is pissed, so she says that she won’t marry Don, and she prefers Ed to him. Destiny, man, you can’t fuck with that, no matter how hard you try.
Present time, and Ed says that he’s always been thirsty. Will overhears the stories, and he smiles and sits in the hall to listen to the stories. This next one is about Ed getting a letter about having to join the military.
The length of duty was 3 years, so he took every hazardous duty in hopes of getting his time cut to under a year because he couldn’t bear being without Sandra. I think that this is Nam, but it could be China. It’s an Asian country, we can all agree on that much. At night, Ed jumps out of a plane to get to some power plant. I think this has to be China. The military is putting on some entertainment show for their troops, and Ed lands in the scaffolding above the stage. There is a girl on stage singing, or should I say, girls. They are conjoined twins, think season 4 of AHS. Ed has to take out a few guys, but he gets the info. The girl’s names are Ping and Jing. The girls find Ed hiding behind their costumes, and he tells them of Sandra. They concoct a plan involving Russia, Cuba, and Miami. Sweet. With no way to contact the military, they thought that he was dead, and so they deliver the message to Sandra. Poor girl. After months, she is out hanging laundry, and there is Ed. Awww.
Present-day, at night, Josephine talks to Will about how he never told her about how his parents met, but he says it’s because most of it never happened. She asks him if he loves his father. He explains that his dad wasn’t around much, and Will always speculated that Ed had a second life or family. Josephine says that can’t be true. The next morning, they are eating breakfast, and Ed tries telling a story, but everybody has already heard it. Will wants to talk to his dad in private, so the ladies leave. Will makes a metaphor about icebergs and how you only see 10% and the other 90% is underwater. Will says that he doesn’t really know his dad. Will is telling his dad how he doesn’t believe any of his stories basically. Will doesn’t want his son to go through life without knowing his dad. Ed says that he isn’t faking, he’s been real all along. Will goes to clean the pool, but there’s something in it. He then helps the women clean out the garage. Sandra finds the letter of his father going missing during the war. Sandra says that not everything Ed says is a complete fabrication.
Back to flashbacks, so after the war, Ed became a traveling salesman, and he put aside money every other Friday for a house with white picket fences. Yay, 5 O’Clock World is playing! He wasn’t doing great selling the Handimatic, but he went to a bank one day, probably to put away money. In front of him in line is Norther. This is definitely the 70’s based on appearances. Oh, and Norther is robbing the bank. Before he knows it, Norther has recruited Ed to help him with this heist. All I am thinking is about is Dog Day Afternoon and Reservoir Dogs. Ed is to get the money from the vault, but the bank was flat broke. Terrible heist. They get away in Ed’s car. Norther checks what was in the vault, and all it was is Ed’s deposit. So Ed explains all the financial things, and Norther was going to go to Wall Street and made a million dollars, and proceeded to send Ed enough money to buy Sandra that dream house with the white picket fence.
Present time, and Ed is in the tub and just enjoying submerging himself underwater. He tells Sandra that he was drying out. She takes off her shoes and gets in the tub with him, and both are fully clothed. They embrace, and it’s a very tender moment of great sadness from poor Sandra. Will is still looking through things in the garage and finds a deed of trust with Jennifer’s name on it, in Spectre. Well, Will takes a ride to her place. We now meet a full-grown Jenny, played by Helena Bonham Carter. She knows who Will is as she saw his picture before.
Jenny knows Ed as she was on his sales route. Will just bluntly asks if she was having an affair with his dad. She asks why he didn’t just ask Ed, and he lets her know about Ed’s condition. Jenny isn’t sure that she wants to change his mental image of his dad. She says that Ed never came to Spectre when he was supposed to. The first time was too early, the second time was too late.
Flashback time. There was this great thunderstorm, and it was pouring. Ed ends up in the lake or pond and sees the nude woman again. She comes up to his window and he smiles at her. Hey, booty!!! After that, he finds his car up high on a tree branch. He then finds a very big key on the ground, and he returns to Spectre, and now the town is deserted and dilapidated. Everybody was bankrupt. The town was for sale, and so Ed bought the town for 50 grand. So he asked for help from Norther, Amos, Ping, and Jing. He bought up all the property, never asking for people to pay him back, just to keep living the way that they had. He had bought all the property with one exception, Jenny’s house. The house has a terrible slant. He meets young adult Jenny, played by Helena Bonham Carter. Good casting all around. She doesn’t like the idea of him buying her property. She says that she expected him back sooner. She did get married and realized that an age gap did make some kind of difference. He tries to open the slanted door and breaks the door. Well, he gets Karl to un-slant the house. Ed helps her with fixing up the house. The place looks awesome. White house, white picket fences.
After everything is fixed, he puts up a coat rack, hangs his hat up on it, and he goes to grab it, she tells him that he can leave it there. She goes in for the kiss, and he says no. Poor girl. He still loves Sandra, and that’s the only girl he will be in love with. As he is about to leave, she decides to sign the property over to him. And with that, his job is done, the place looks immaculate, and he would leave and never return back to Spectre.
Present time. She says that she was the witch in a way, at least in Ed’s mind. She says that she wanted to be as important to him as he was to her. It’s a hard, bitter pill to swallow. Will drives home with all this to take in. Nobody is home when he returns, everybody is gone. He races to the hospital. Ed has had a stroke. Sandra wants to stay at the hospital, and Will says he will stay. Poor Sandra. She’s about to make everybody get all teary-eyed. She stops in the room to say goodbye as he lies there unconscious. The doctor asks Will if he ever heard the real story about the day that he was born. Haha, it was a very bland story, and the point is the doctor says that maybe the fancy tall tale isn’t such a bad thing after all.
Will falls asleep next to his dad. Ed wakes up, and he looks bad. All Ed can do is to say “the river, tell me how it happens”. He wants to know the story of how he dies. Will looks around, and he doesn’t know the story, his dad never told him, but he tells his dad that he needs help with it. So Will goes to tell the story.
Will tells the story of how it’s morning and Ed is feeling better and wants to get out of there. Ed wants the wheelchair, and to get out of the hospital. Dr. Bennett tries to stop them, but to no avail. Josephine and Sandra buy them a distraction. He gets Ed into his old car, and it’s brand new. Ed needs water, and they need to get to the river. Will is driving recklessly to get his dad to the river. There’s a traffic jam, so Karl moves some cars, and Ed waves his thanks. Will carries his dad as they get close to the river, and everybody from the stories is there. the hometown, the circus folk, Norther, the twins, his military buddies, Jenny, everybody. Even the milkman is there. Everybody is so happy to see old Ed. Ed says goodbye to everybody. And there’s Sandra standing in the river looking beautiful. He pulls the ring from his mouth and gives it to her. He carries him out a little further and drops him. When Ed hits the water, he turns into a big fish and swims off. And then Ed dies in real life. It’s getting dusty in here. Damnit, I need to turn my air purifier up. Will calls his mom.
Now at the church, we see Will and Sandra, and Dr. Bennett. Then Karl and Amos get out of a car, and Amos is older now. Will is a little stunned. Then Josephine looks over and sees the twins, only they are 2 separate people, and there’s Norther with them. There’s the Spectre people. Even older Mr. Soggybottom. The funeral goes on and everybody is telling their stories. There’s Jenny next to Sandra. Will and Josephine are taking it all in.
A few years later, we see Will’s son tell his buddies some of the same stories, and Ed’s legacy lives on. And then Pearl Jam’s Man Of The Hour plays. Great fucking song here.
End Film
TLDR
What did we learn from this film?
While not as poignant as something like A Bronx Tale, there’s something else entirely wonderful here. I guess the obvious thing that I take away from it is the art of storytelling. Sometimes adding a bit of spice to a story will make it legendary, and it’s always way better than the truth. The question is, what is preferable. We are humans, we seek the truth, but we love to be entertained. There are times that something happens, and is just part of somebody’s legacy. For example, about 20 years ago, I am watching a wrestling pay per view, and I don’t know who the Undertaker was fighting, but I was trying to make a point about Mankind (Mick Foley) at the time, hyping him up. Well, I jumbled my words, and out of my mouth came “The person that can beat the Undertaker is the Undertaker.” Rest assured, that quote is still well remembered. In that regard, I don’t have to spice it up, but it’s part of a person’s legacy, and stuff is important. When you die, what do you honestly and truly think people will remember about you? I know depressed people ponder that way too often. I know I have dwelled on that very question at night for years. I still don’t know the answer. I’d like to think that there are enough Kent stories to keep a conversation going for 5 minutes or so. I don’t know what people would really remember about me if I died today, maybe it would be my extra chins, my shiny bald head, my incredibly small pen……penmanship…..yeah. Everybody has a legacy, it’s just a matter of doing whatever you can to enhance that. If I’m going to be remembered as an asshole, I want those stories or Dick Gloss and Jizz Stick to be told dammit. If I am going to be remembered for my writing, well I guess I need to get better at it. You get the point.
The other thing to take from this, and it goes with the legacy, is that sometimes fate intervenes and if you truly recognize that moment, and you pour your heart and soul into it, then maybe you can achieve it. In Ed’s case, it was getting Sandra. A man who won’t accept losing, no matter how many times he gets knocked down, as long as he keeps getting back up, I want that man on my team. I’d go so far as to say that, even if they buy some time by faking giving up, saying all the right things, in the name of buying time or space. As long as in their heart, that person still wants it, then they need to pursue it. No matter how hard the situation is, find a way to persevere until you win.
I didn’t find much of anything to correlate Big Fish with AHS Hotel. There were no vampires, drugs addicts, killer kids, gays, mass murderers, none of the central themes really. I could stretch some correlations, really, really far, like the distance for 3 years between Will and his Dad remind me of Kathy Bates and Donovan, but that doesn’t really count. I’d dare say the closest I can come is even when you think the love of your life is dead, they may still come back. Otherwise, I got nothing.
As for the film itself, I don’t even know where to begin. The cast is stacked. It is one of the most visually stunning films I have seen. Very vibrant at the right times and dark when needed, trademarks of Burton. The characters were all very unique, well most of them at the very least. All the twists and turns that this movie takes you on, it’s a wonderful trip. I think Albert Finney and Jessica Lange stole the show. This movie kills me too. From the moment when Sandra says goodbye to Ed in the hospital, it’s this slow build, I can’t take my eyes off of it, and by the time that Ed sees her in the river, I am always on the verge of tearing up. That’s the moment where it happens. They just had such beautiful chemistry and build. Maybe I’m just an emotional bitch, but the movie always gets to me, I can’t help it. Sorta like how most everybody cries at the end of Armageddon or Charlotte’s Web or Old Yeller. This one always gets me. I remember the first time I saw it was with my buddy Chris, and I did the whole, I gotta go to the bathroom think because I didn’t want to look like a bitch. True story. The second time I watched it, it was with my #1 girl at the time, EZ E, and I figured that I would be fine, but nope, it happened again. Fortunately, she was too busy reaching for a tissue to notice. So note to self, stop watching this with people.
Rating: 9.2 This movie is as close to perfect as it can get. The older Jenny stuff was a minor, minor lull, but I can’t deduct much for that. Yeah, I just simply adore this film, and I don’t own it on blu ray. I will change that this year. It’s probably my favorite love story movie of all time. Well done.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
Please go find a copy and support the creators.