I was looking to see what was on Amazon Prime. The selection wasn’t horrible, but not great. Then I see Bingo Hell. My mom used to take me to go play bingo so much as a kid. I went because I was gonna get some tasty food, either at McDonald’s or at the bingo hall. Let’s face it, I ate way too much unhealthy shit at that age. This has a 4.2 on IMDB. So why am I wasting my time on this?
The answer is simply 2 words. Richard Brake. Everything I have seen this man in has been made better by his mere presence. He has been great in every Rob Zombie film that I have seen him in, even if the movie wasn’t great. He was fantastic in Asylum Blackout too. I have zero expectations from this film. I suspect it’s a one-time watch, but I gotta take chances.
Start Film
We start off with a dude named Mario, who just sold a bingo hall, and has a suitcase of money. He has some music going, talking to a painting of his wife or mom, I assume wife. And he starts gorging on what I thought was food, but instead are Bingo balls. He chokes and gags and we see the suitcase fall and all the money inside. Mario lays dead next to his money. Okay, I guess that is a way to start things off. But why was he that hungry? Was he possessed? What made him do that? I need answers. I don’t know if we will get any.
We meet Lupita, an older lady, who seems to hate what has become of the neighborhood with hipster coffee shops and a microbrewery. We meet this old dude, Clarence. He’s a funny talker who is a mechanic.
We meet Morris trying to fix Yolanda’s dryer chair, like from a salon. Morris made it worse. Dolores hasn’t been around, she has Raquel and her grandson Caleb living with them. Raquel seems like a pain in the ass. Yolanda asks Lupita if it’s time to give up the gangster bandana. She scoffs. Hell no. Dolores comes to the salon and comes complaining about Raquel not raising Caleb right.
Lupita is on her way to the Bigo Hall and sees a fancy car drive by with a license plate that says “BIGWINN3R” She also steps on gum with a hundred-dollar bill attached to it. Worth it! In the bingo hall, we see some AA type of meeting. She talks to Eric who works there, setting the place up. He found Mario’s keys. She calls Mario’s and there is a bunch of green slime goo there. Lupita donates her newfound money.
Now we get a rousing game of bingo. There are only 12 people playing, but everyone seems to know each other, very happy, close-knit community at Oak Springs. They give a nice donation to Yolanda who has fallen on hard times. Then the power goes out. Time to close up shop for the night. The car is still parked outside.
Okay, so the painting earlier was Mario’s wife who died of cancer. Lupita wants to check on Mario since he is usually around. She is trying to get Dolores to go with her. Lupita checks on this car. They walk away, but there is someone in the driver’s seat, a white dude. Let’s face it, it’s gotta be Richard.
There are a lot of flyers advertising Mr. Big’s Bingo under new management. Lupita is furious and goes to Mario’s. This is painful watching Raquel burning bacon. Dolores tries to be sweet to Raquel. Apparently, the old timers have stayed despite offers to sell their homes, and it was out of loyalty. But what has it gotten them? They plan on giving Mr. Big a neighborhood welcome.
This is practically a casino. Well lit up, very pretty inside. There’s Mr. Big, Richard Brake. He is just oozing with charisma. Is he Leland Gaunt from needful Things? Raquel is there and wants a new life as she stares down Dolores. He keeps stamping people’s hands with a red money sign. I like it.
Raquel gets bingo first. And what does she win? Ten thousand dollars. “Holy shit!” says Dolores. Morris is upset that he didn’t play. This place makes dreams come true. Mr. Big was a great smile.
Caleb goes to talk to his mom, but she has left and appears to have moved out. Dolores is pissed. Raquel has gone shopping and stays at a hotel. The lady playing Raquel looked familiar. She was in season one of The Purge in a few episodes. Her name is Kelly Murtagh. She is dancing and happy, but she starts having conversational flashbacks, unpleasant ones. So there are 2 versions of Raquel happening. One is where she thinks that she is ripping off her new shirt while hearing bad conversations in her past and this is a hallucination. In reality, Mr. Big is behind her and she is tearing chunks of her chest off. Is this The Call?
Dolores talks to Lupita about Raquel leaving, but Lupita dwells on Mr. Big. She decides to break into Mario’s and cut herself in the process. Very sloppy. She steps into more green goo and finds a dead Mario.
The Bingo Hall is getting lots of people, and lots of people scratching the back of their hands. I love that Lupita has her own self-defense baton. She also experiences hallucinations at home with bingo balls that spell out YOU LOSE.
Caleb keeps breaking into cars. This time, he finds one with a gun. He is trying to steal from Eric. Eric tells him how he knew Caleb’s dad. They share a Twix. I approve. Clarence just won one hundred thousand dollars. How many games do they play on a given night?
Caleb comes home and sees a bunch of texts from his mom, talking shit. We see Clarence celebrating while listening to a swanky female version of House of the Rising Sun. I don’t like it. The girl can sing, but it’s not the right sound for the song. Clarence’s hand looks rough. He thinks he’s drinking a beer, but instead drinking motor oil. Clarence is trying to fix the truck but the fan was on and he just cut the hell out of himself.
Lupita tries to visit Yolanda, but the salon isn’t open. She checks on Clarence and there’s a ton of smoke, She finds Clarence and a suitcase with the green slime. She sees Morris with some money and she drops her baton. He looks crazed but then runs away.
Dolores wakes up in Hallucination land and stamps her hand. Yolanda has stamped her hand. Everyone is returning. Richard is standing on the roof, as he likes to. Delightful. So many people with the stamp. Lupita finds the stamp at Dolores’ place. Lupita calls Eric for help but then opts to grab the shotgun in the kitchen. Caleb looks like he’s ready to try to steal some money. Eric and Lupita join forces. Eric walks around back, sees Caleb, and warns him not to go it, but Caleb is scared. Caleb pulls the gun on Eric. Caleb backs down, but then Mr. Big gets Caleb from behind. Everyone gives Lupita a scowl. First Morris, then Yoland, and then Dolores. Eric tries talking to Big. He tells Eric to answer his craving, for drugs obviously. Eric gets a huge syringe and injects himself in the neck. Damn. Big then steps on Eric’s face.
Big offers Caleb money and told him to be a winner. Then he talks shit about Raquel smiling up until the very end. Lupita shoots up the big TV display in the casino. Lupita gives an impassioned speech, but then grabs her head, and then Big attacks her. Big says that Lupita is just like him, making people believe that the people need them. Caleb shoots Big. People are coming out of their trance, but their heads are still F’d up.
Yolanda and Morris hug it out. Big isn’t dead yet, obviously. Caleb wakes up Lupita. Caleb tries to shoot Big in the head, but no more bullets. Dolores with the chair. Now Morris is in. Yolanda with a running uppercut. Oh, this is just funny. Dolores went to town. I feel like they should be playing “Don’t Stop Me Now” during this beatdown. But Big says “The house always wins”. Lupita gets involved with the shotty. Caleb lights all the money on fire. Big is upset about the money. Now the whole place is on fire.
Everyone exits. Big still worries about the money. Morris looks for Clarence, and Lupita tells him. Poor Morris. Geez, that was actually really sad. Yolanda asks “So what now?” Lupita apologizes to everyone for being so stubborn. Lupita just wants everyone to be together, no matter where they go.
End Film
Okay, I get it. I didn’t love it but didn’t hate it. If you could take a morality-type horror story in the vein of Tales From the Hood and then add the cheesiness and gore from Creepshow or Tales From The Crypt and make it 85 minutes long, you may have Bingo Hell.
The acting wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I thought the main cast was all solid, especially Lupita, Morris, and Eric. Not to take anything away from them, but Richard Brake stole the show, as expected. You rely on these guys to dominate their time on screen, and he did just that. So good.
The story really is about people convincing themselves how much they need money and losing sight of family and community. There, I summed it all up. But I enjoyed it. I don’t think I will ever watch it again, and that is going to hurt the rating, obviously. I don’t know who really is sitting there thinking, “Man, I gotta see that again soon.” But you can have a good time once. The pacing is uneven and that hurts it in places and is probably my biggest gripe. There were moments of boredom.
Final Rating: 4.6
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