Child’s Play (2019)

I am skeptical as hell about the reboot of Chid’s Play. I have been since I saw the initial trailer. I should say that this has a great cast. I love Aubrey Plaza, and I have recently been bingeing Parks and Rec, so I am excited to see her in this. Tim Matheson is awesome, and I don’t know what type of role he will have, I am guessing similar to Mike from the original. And finally, the great Mark Hammill. I know inevitably I will have to compare him and Brad Dourif. For now, I will just say that both are talented voice actors, and for a reboot, a new voice was needed.

I am still annoyed though. I take umbrage with this film because the original doesn’t need a reboot. And the franchise was actually improving. This was NOT the time to do a damn reboot! I know that there is a Chucky TV series in the works. I am hoping that Brad, Fiona, Alex, and Jennifer are all part of it in some capacity. The story that they were telling was fantastic. All of that aside, I guess it is time to watch the reboot of Child’s Play.

Start Film

I didn’t know that Orion Pictures was still a thing. Good for them! Why hasn’t Amazon and Alexa come out with murderous dolls yet? They are slacking. That better not be all of Matheson’s role, as he plays Mr. Kaslan, the owner of Kaslan products, think Amazon or Google. Huh, they “Buddi” dolls are made in Vietnam. No more Good Guys for us. I’m going to eat some blueberries. This worker at the factory gets yelled at some he removes all safety protocols from his doll and puts it in the box. Nice.

There’s Aubrey! So this black dude comes in wanting to return the Buddi doll because it’s ginger. That’s fucking fantastic. He is pissed but leaves. I’m also just learning that I don’t care much for blueberries unless they mixed with something else like yogurt, other berries, or pie. Is Karen Andy’s mom? If so, they have a very odd relationship. Feels more like siblings. Andy also has a hearing aid, and it appears that they just moved to a new place. Karen is the mom, the very young mom. Okay, I am only 3 and a half years older than she is. She looks slightly better than I do. I like her charm and sense of humor, but still not feeling her in a mom role. She takes home a damaged and returned Buddi that had glowing red eyes.

Hahaha, Andy busts in on his mom with some dude named Shane. That was fantastic. His reaction was appropriate. Detective Mike is a black dude and this guy is already significantly better than old Mike. He’s got charisma, very personable, and I actually want him to live. Karen gives Andy the Buddy. She claims that it’s refurbished. He really is too old for it, but it is kinda funny. They have a cat named Andy Rooney. I liked some of Andy’s buddy cop pairings. Mark Hamill actually works better for this version, I think. They did a lot of decent jokes with this, some work better than others, obviously.

This Shane dude is a dick. We know he’s gonna get got. Why am I still eating blueberries? Haha, Mickey Rooney just scratched Andy and Chucky is pissed. While andy cleaned his wound, Chucky was choking the cat. We meet Falyn and Pugg who both think that Chucky is pretty cool. Time to fuck with Shane. Hahaha, trying to get Chucky to stab a unicorn and say “This is for Tupac”. Mike called this little fucking millennials. Now they are watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Watching this with Chucky has taught him some new ideas. Chucky comes back in the room wielding a knife. Alright! Chucky goes to attack Pugg but Andy stops him and gets cut on the arm. Andy is leaving Chucky in his bedroom.

Karen just baked for the first time, apparently. Chucky is in the kitchen and is playing a recording of Andy saying that Shane is such an asshole and Karen finds it funny. Aww, Karen is forcing Chucky to stay in the closet except for one hour a day. The next day, we see that Chucky has broken out. Chucky has killed Rooney. Andy was sick of the cat. Andy hides the fact that the cat is dead. Hahaha, Chucky is playing sounds of the cat dying while Andy tries to sleep.

Shane and Karen finish up fucking as Andy gets home. Shane doesn’t understand why Andy doesn’t want to be around him. Shane is pretty fucking stupid. But Andy did just walk away from pizza, which was also pretty fucking stupid. Karen mocks Chucky. So far, this has been significantly different from the original Child’s Play.

Shane is in the bathroom taking a piss and Chucky scares him and causes him to piss all over the place. Shane comes into Andy’s room and is just a straight-up dick. He wanted Andy to talk back to him. Andy wishes Shane would leave them alone. Mike hears them talking in the hall. Shane gets in his truck. Shane is a married man and comes home to his wife and 2 daughters. Then he has to take down the Christmas lights, at night. He is wrapping them around his body. The ladder just shook. Now he falls and shatters both of his legs both outwardly, which makes very little sense, but it looked cool. Clearly, the Michael Bay method. His daughters hear nothing since they are listening to phones or tablets. Shane is still wrapped in lights and trying to crawl to his phone. Chucky starts this lawnmower looking machine, but it isn’t that. Online, someone called it a “tiller”. It looks badass either way. It is following Shane. Shane stops it with his hand, but Chucky gets on top of him. The machine quintessentially scalps him. Chucky says “This is for Tupac.” I am so glad that they gave us that.

I thought Mike looked familiar. He played Honolulu in Hotel Artemis which was a fun film. Great fucking cast. Bad Times at the El Royale was a better film though. I recommend both.

Chucky stabbed Shane 13 times. That’s right, 13. And he has no face. Mike is on the scene. “White guy in a watermelon patch. Poetic.” – Mike.

Andy wakes up and Shane’s face is in Andy’s room on a watermelon. Hahaha. Andy has Pugg and Falyn come over to help him. They decide to hide the evidence, so they wrap it up in wrapping paper. Karen is home and asks Andy why he isn’t in school. This conversation is funny. Karen wants to help Andy deliver the present. Haha. The lady plays along, it is Mike’s mom. Doreen is the lady’s name. Andy asks her to wait until his birthday next week to open it. She is cool with that.

Andy brings a hammer and Chucky has a knife. Hmmm, a hammer. Andy wants to play. He leads him into his bedroom and Pugg knocks down Chucky and together, they rip out Chucky’s core or whatever. He was pretty much Iron Man. The creepy apartment manager or janitor finds the disposed of Chucky. He’s going to operate on it. That makes sense. He gets Chucky back to life but wants to do more. Mike and Willis tell Karen about Shane.

Andy goes to Mike’s to have dinner with Mike and Doreen. Andy steals the “gift” and disposes of it. This janitor dude is fucking creepy. His name is Gabe. He has repaired Chucky and wants to sell him on eBay. He also has cameras set up in all of the apartment’s bathrooms and there is Karen fresh out of the shower. No nudity. Now I’m sad. Chucky made the feeds go to a snowy screen. Then the feeds come back and Chucky is up and moving. Chucky is slicing Gabe up and the lights keep going off. It’s like Alexa gone crazy. He is standing on a table saw. One of the legs comes off thanks to Chucky. Gabe jumps up and grabs a pipe. Chucky turns up the temperature so the pipe is heating up and now the saw is on. Gabe falls to his death. Shout out to Saw! Okay, probably not, but I love Saw.

Chucky got back in his box and and Omar got him this time. Andy is not Kentertained.

Buddi 2 is a furry and they have a Leprechaun outfit for it. Shout out to Leprechaun, and this time I’m sure it was intentional. Omar has named his Buddi as “Chode”. Andy is realizing that Chode still remembers, like Pepperidge Farms. Chucky is showing video footage of Shane shoving Andy onto the bed when they had their confrontation. That sounded so much dirtier than I meant it to. Now he shows the watermelon with Shane’s face. Andy starts beating up Omar and hurts Pugg all while in the store where Karen works. Andy has Omar’s phone and can see and hear everybody talking in Omar’s room. Pugg said that he is no longer friends with Andy. Karen just found the dead cat’s collar. Doreen has ordered a car from the app. Things are getting CRAZY!

Andy lost connection but now sees Chucky is near Doreen. The car shows up. The car is fully automated. Andy is trying to stop her but she is gone. She gets to Bingo but now the car is going all Christine on her ass. It goes driving away like crazy. It stops when it sees Chucky. Chucky is controlling the car with E.T. looking finger. She calls Chucky a hobbit. Chucky disengages the seatbelt and airbag and drives the car into a parked vehicle. She’s still alive and Chucky sees her. Chucky is in the car and kills her. Andy tries explaining to Karen that Chucky is going to hurt Doreen and Karen is like, well what about the cat. Andy blames Chucky. He says that he can show her what is happening via Oman’s phone. She isn’t interested and she is returning Omar’s phone. Mike is on the scene where his mom is dead.

Andy is sitting there and the TV comes on. It is Pugg and Falyn talking. Pugg wonders what is the doll didn’t malfunction. What if Andy just made it all up? I’m just realizing that Aubrey is in this and her son is named Andy and in Parks and Rec, her husband was Andy. Chucky is talking to Andy and he is just hitting everything in the living room. Just breaking shit and he bashes the TV and Karen returns home. Good job, Andy.

Tonight is the official release for Buddi 2, and there is a variety of them. Karen is working and brought Andy with her. Falyn suggests that maybe Andy isn’t crazy after seeing the officers at Doreen’s. She gets Omar’s phone and found that Chucky is stalking Andy. The cops just found Shane’s face. Falyn, Pugg, and Omar show up with weapons to protect Andy, but he needs to find his mom. Nope, Mike is there and taking Andy down. He is handcuffing Andy. Karen is pissed. Chucky just killed the store manager dressed a Buddi with an oversized head. Mike handcuffs Andy to a shopping cart. The lights go down. But Kaslan is on TV with another ad.

Chucky appears on the screen. The drones are attacking. Karen saves Mike. Everybody is running away and the store is entering lockdown. A drone goes after Pugg but Mike stops it and dies in the process. Karen is on the ground The toys are attacking. Falyn rescues Andy who was being approached by Furry Buddi. Chucky has Karen tied up. Everybody is about to leave. Andy closes the gate and it’s just him, Karen, and Chucky now. Andy is trying to act tough. We all know how the next 5-8 minutes are going to play out, right? Okay, I didn’t expect a toy cop car that has Robocop talking. Never assume you know what to expect.

Andy sees his mom. She keeps shaking her head no to Andy. Chucky knocks out Andy. Good job, Andy. It’s time for Chucky to lynch Karen with a forklift. Andy distracts Chucky by singing to him. Andy takes forever to cut his mom down. Chucky attacks during this. He finally cuts her down, she should be dead but she’s fine. Andy stabs Chucky right through the heart, like they were supposed to in the original franchise. Chucky is back up and leaps toward Andy. He gets shot in midair by Mike. Mike’s alive! Then Karen rips Chucky’s head off. Solid.

The 4 kids drag Chucky into an alley and destroy him with weapons. We hear Kaslan talk about how the Kaslan company has no responsibility for what happened. They will recall all Buddi 2 dolls though. We then see them getting restocked and one has glowing eyes. I am sure they hoped that this was a success. Actually, was it? Oh fuck yeah. They spent about 10 million making it and made about 45 million back. They should make a sequel and keep the momentum.

End Film

Okay, I can understand why people liked it and disliked it. It was a reboot and it kept the names of Chucky, Andy, Karen, and Mike. There was a killer doll that was “alive”. That is really where the similarities stop. That’s not a bad thing. Retelling the exact same story is stupid and boring. I can just go watch the original because it was very well done. So they made a lot of changes and gave us a new story. The story wasn’t bad and feels very modern. Kids today can relate to this a lot better than the original, or so I would assume.

They updated a lot here, but there are some obstacles. They got rid of the Charles Lee Ray story and the voodoo. That was what kept the sequels alive. How do you realistically keep this franchise going with the current premise and keep it entertaining? Are you going to have Chucky use technology to find Andy after he has been in a witness protection agency? Will Karen and Mike even be around for a potential sequel, or Andy for that matter? Where does this truly go and can it get there? If this is a one time film, kudos. But if they are looking to build a franchise, they need to get really creative. I worry about the potential of a sequel, but I also think that they should cash in on this no later than 2025. High school Andy with dumbass high school friends. That could be a fun slasher, I suppose. There’s footage, so I assume we don’t have to go down the road of Karen and Mike being considered insane.

I knew I would get to this point. This version of Chucky was actually creepier. Mark Hamill does creepy quite well. Brad Dourif was far more menacing though. Both fit their respective roles and I feel that both should be commended. If they do a sequel, I think you gotta let Mark go a little crazy with the role. Just my opinion.

Another thing that I want to talk about quickly is the tone of the film. While it was horror, it also had some good jokes. I like humor with horror, I also like total horror. For me, both are acceptable. I usually feel that the original has to be more pure horror before you can go comedic. Consider A Nightmare on Elm Street, Child’s Play, Leprechaun, and Evil Dead. They all started more serious than they finished. Can you do a sequel to this and keep it straight horror or do you have to add the comedy elements?

Either way, this movie was fun. I was wrong in my expectations and I am thrilled to be wrong. I have been wrong on this franchise for so many years, and I blame Child’s Play 3 and Seed of Chucky. Both films left a bad taste in my mouth so I didn’t love this franchise as much. My mistake. As of right now, this is available for free on Amazon Prime video if you have a Prime membership. Yes, I know that means that it isn’t “free” but you get my point.

Rating: 6.4 – I enjoyed this, and I want to buy it. At best, it is only the 5th best film in the franchise, if you count this as part of the franchise. There’s this large gap in terms of quality between Cult of Chucky and Child’s Play 2. This film fits quite nicely in the middle of that gap. I would recommend this film.

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Orion Pictures (presents)
BRON Studios (in association with) (as Bron Creative)
KatzSmith Productions (production)
Creative Wealth Media Finance
Oddfellows Entertainment
he Province of Ontario (participation)
Province of British Columbia Production Services Tax Credit (participation)
Canadian Film or Video Production Tax Credit (CPTC) (participation)
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM)

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