Okay, on IMDB I immediately see a kid and think, is that Leonardo DiCaprio. It is. This is actually his very first film. They brought back Charlie, Ug, and Sal. Frances Bay, best known as Happy Gilmore’s grandmother is in this. My expectations are super low on this one and any remaining ones. You are severely limited with what you can do with this story moving forward, in my opinion. Honestly, this is why slashers do sequels best. You create an iconic killer and run them into the ground and fans will always return for more.
Start FIlm
We meet Clifford and his 2 children, Annie and Johnny. Clifford has a flat tire and has to pull over to fix it. Johnny meets Josh (Leo). They drink Mug root beer and play frisbee. Josh accidentally throws it too far over a bank, and the kids go down to find it. Instead, they find a very creepy Charlie who then provides us the recap as they used to in the Friday the 13th franchise. I’m not even sure if that recap made this franchise seem cool or not. Charlie gave Johnny some crystal rod thingy and says that if it glows green that he needs to beware. Oh, and there are eggs underneath the truck.
We meet Frank and Mario. And there’s a lady named Rosie who is heavy and gets insulted by Frank. Apparently, Mario is moving. Marcia also lives in the building and is the attractive woman in the film. The kids are gonna be staying with the Menges who live in this apartment building. Frank is just a dick. He plays his role really well. The Menges is Happy’s grandma and Mr. Menges whose favorite food is ham and beans. What a combination. This guy playing Frank was in Forrest Gump as Wesley. Who the hell was Wesley in Forrest Gump? Maybe he was one of those guys that Jenny hung out with.
Clifford work as a something, maybe a train conductor based on his dumb hat. Either way, Annie wants him home more often. She asks Marcia about working at the phone company. Frank gets assaulted by Critters. It’s exactly what you expect and he was the natural first victim. Josh’s stepdad is Mr. Briggs, Frank’s boss. Rosie keeps using this laundry chute, which I find to be an odd concept in a building like this. One of the Critters tried revving up like Sonic to go up the chute but the lid was closed. I really like Annie, she seems like a great daughter, which is rare in horror films. Mr. Menges was telling a story and there’s a picture of Charlie and Johnny’s crystal rod is glowing green. Perfect.
Rosie gets attacked in the basement. Annie helps. Clifford doesn’t believe them about the attack until they come up and attack all of them Mr. Briggs has now cut the phone lines because he’s a dick. Oh, and he just cut the electricity too. I wonder if Mr. Briggs’ first name is Scott. Marcia helps our group and Briggs wants to evict everyone. Leo doesn’t like being called “Sport”. The Critters are watching a battery-operated TV. Leo closes the door and leaves Briggs in a room with the Critters and Leo can’t open the door. I think it’s a nice touch that the Critters were watching a cooking segment. Marcia finds Briggs dead. She and Leo are being chased.
Everybody congregates at the Menges’ place. I would like more info about the darts or quills. Hahahaha, fucking Mrs. Menges comes out with a huge ass meat cleaver. That made me laugh. There’s a door to the attic and that may be their way out. Annie demands that Clifford and Rosie move their asses. And now we finally have a fire in the basement. The ham and beans don’t look great to me, but the tarts do. Marcia is splitting away from the group. Smart. Now they’re all trapped. Marcia is their only hope. Josh tells Annie that he was there to evict her. That’s so romantic.
Josh and Annie are playing with this bullet that he found near Charlie in the beginning. Oh, now the Critters are farting. The one Critter was drinking dish detergent. They’re having the time of their lives. Marcia found a vent. Marcia is now rocking the Canadien Tuxedo. Looking good, a shame it isn’t still the ’80s. Marcia falls but she was caught by a wire. She just has to swing herself to the phone booth.
Annie climbs down the elevator shaft. A Critter named Blackie screams. Oh boy. The Critters surround Annie and here’s Charlie with a Tarzan-type scream. The building is still on fire. Charlie accidentally fixed the elevator. That made it faster. Rosie is still alive. I find that surprising. Rosie thinks that Charlie is a hunk. Marcia is still struggling but gets a hold of the booth. She has no change.
The fight is now on in the attic. Mr. Menges captures one. Josh gets a dart in the neck. The Meat Cleaver cuts Bubbles in half. Wait, wasn’t Charlie supposed to be the Sheriff? The fire is really gonna eventually be a problem…..right? One more Critter remains, it appears. It goes after Johnny. Charlie intercepts and goes flying. Johnny somehow still falls over the ledge but Annie is really fast apparently. Is Charlie dead? Nope, he’s hanging from a pole. It’s not going well. Charlie falls and lands in the camper. He’s fine. I hear sirens. Okay, it’s now the next day and the Fire Department is still there. Leo asks Annie out. Good for him. Johnny asks Charlie not to leave. Clifford was a train conductor. Josh’s mom is a total MILF. Rosie is sad that Charlie is gone. Anyway, MILF offers to give them all a relocation fee until the building is repaired.
The credits roll as Charlie is still hunting Critters. Charlie finds an egg and his alarm goes off. Charlie is wearing the Sheriff’s badge. I must have missed it earlier. Oh, the alarm is from the communicator device from the Bounty Hunters. I can dig that. Charlie is in violation. There’s Ug!!! The alarm is for when a species is on the verge of going extinct. So a pod will arrive and Charlie is to put the final 2 eggs in the receptacle. And there’s the pod. To be continued……
End Film
I think I preferred this over the second one. New Line Cinema, you did with Nightmare on Elm Street and this franchise. This one was fun and had fresh, interesting characters. It had some goofy bits to it. It felt fun again. Annie stole the show here, her real name is Aimee Brooks. She was a really good actress, I thought. She did some Days of Our Life, an episode of Saved By The Bell, and even Sorority House Massacre. All smaller roles. It’s a shame because she had a lot of talent.
Leo was good in this. You can just tell that he had all the potential in the world. But that is the weird thing. He was great and he succeeded and Aimee didn’t the same opportunities. Anyway, I thought the cast as a whole appeared to be having fun doing this. I think I would watch this again, surprisingly.
Final Rating – 6.0 – It’s entertaining enough to watch with friends or serve as background noise for a party. The big thing is that this was fun. Fun must play a role in these things, right?
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