I’ve never seen this movie, but it has Swayze and a damn good soundtrack. I gotta expand my horizons every once in a while. Fingers crossed, hopefully, this will be fun.
Start film
It starts right out with Be My Baby. Delightful! We are introduced to Baby. There’s fucking Newman (Wayne Knight). There’s a group of people learning how to dance. Good for them. There’s Swayze!!! His name is really Johnny Castle? Fantastic. This takes place in the ’60s, I think. It’s mambo time. Swayze has some moves. Awww, boss man doesn’t approve of his dancing style, so they have to stop. Wayne Knight telling jokes pleases me.
Baby ends up at a staff-only party, and they are all jamming out to “Do You Love Me” and I forgot how much I love this song. So everybody is just dance humping? Annnd now Johnny shows up, and he’s the big man on campus apparently. I may be repetitive as hell here, but Swayze was a hoss here. I absolutely feel the need to watch Roadhouse soon. Johnny decides to dance with Baby and teach her some moves.
The next day, the girls are trying on some wigs, because why the hell not? Perhaps there is a legit rhyme and reason, but fuck it. I don’t know what to make of Neil yet, but I think I like him for being an ass. Time will tell. Penny got knocked up by Robbie. The staffers are worried that Baby will blab to management. Seems like a legit concern. Well, Baby just gave Robbie the business. Baby asks daddy for some money, but she can’t tell him what for.
Fuck yeah, Stay by Maurice Williams. Penny won’t accept the money from Baby. Silly Penny. Well, there’s an idea, Baby will help fill in. Well, time for Johnny to have to teach her. Are we getting a montage, with Wipe Out? I applaud this. They follow that up with Hungry Eyes? OK, I admit that I didn’t know that this was by Eric Carmen. Why hasn’t South Park parodied this yet? Just parody this movie, I’d be sold on it. Is this movie just a lot of montages? If so, I approve. Swayze just manhandles Baby. The clothing is getting skimpier, uh oh. I need an adult. Man, Johnny is getting pissed, hahaha. “You’re getting wet, right?” Favorite line so far. No, I don’t even mean it in a sexual way for once.
Damn, Swayze has some damn fine balance. Hey, Baby is now playing while dancing on a tree. More montage? Why has nobody informed me of the number of montages? Why is she wearing white in the water? Just an honest question. Does Jenifer Grey wear a bra throughout the film? Baby wants her sister to cover for her so she can perform on stage. What a transformation. I prefer this look for her. She is botching the hell out of this performance. It reminds me of my theater years when I sucked out on stage. Good times, good times. He didn’t even yell at her in the car, instead, he is sneaking a peek at her changing. Dude, you just had her in the water and she was wearing white.
Well, Penny had the abortion, she’s having a bad time. Shit. Baby is getting Daddy to help. Daddy helps, but he won’t shake Johnny’s hand. He’s pissed about where his money went, and he doesn’t want her to be around those people anymore. Angry daddy.
Baby stops by to see Johnny. His chair looked reasonably comfy. She apologizes for her dad. Aww, Johnny feels that he’s a nothin. Baby, could you be slightly more dramatic? Just bump it up 2 more levels, please. Well, she just had her hand on that man’s ass. What is this rated? If I was watching this in the ’80s, would I have gotten a raging clue from that scene? I am undecided.
The next day, Daddy reveals that the family is going to leave early, and all the women are pissy. Man, being a guy with 3 girls, poor guy. And she is gonna sing “I Feel Pretty”? That’s what guys sing when we wear drag…I mean, so I have heard. Johnny and Baby are checking in on Penny. Johnny’s gotta go, and cheesy factor just got bumped up, tremendous. “Beige iridescent lipstick.” Ohhhh, side Swayze ass! Ryan Murphy must love this movie. Will You Love Me Tomorrow by the Shirelles….great song. I love the line about her name being like the first woman in the cabinet.
Love is Strange, one of my 50 fav oldies. Funny thing, when I made 50 Kent, I wanted to use this song in a scene, and it would have played out similarly, but I have never seen this. Damn. Neil’s a dick, interrupting that scene. Not sure how I feel about Neil now. I just wanted to say, Dalton, dammit. He just gave Baby the business. Baby goes looking for Johnny, but he has had it. She finds him at Penny’s. Robbie, the fuck you thinking saying that? I wish Sam Elliot could have been there for that fight.
Lisa’s singing……is interesting. Yeah, interesting. I bet she had a blast doing that scene. Lisa is gonna bang Robbie that night, per her. Smart. Time to surprise Robbie, and I bet he is doing some wholesome activity…….or he’s with a chick. The shock, the horror!
At least they follow it up with “In The Still Of The Night” by the Five Satins, Uh oh, jealous female alert! uh oh, Johnny is getting framed for stealing Moe’s wallet, thanks to jaded Vivian. Baby, you gotta be more upfront with Daddy. Baby just revealed that Johnny couldn’t have done it because she was with him. Oh man, Daddy needs to get the shotgun. Baby has a talk with Daddy of course. She turned that around on him. Well played.
Well, Johnny revealed that he is still out of a job, but if he keeps it quiet, he gets his bonus. Baby is saying that she did all for nothing. So naturally, this prompts Johnny to go talk to Daddy. Daddy blames Johnny for stealing his innocent daughter. I am now hearing Swayze sing “She’s like the wind”. I’m enjoying the saxophone. Wait, Baby has a bra on. I am as shocked as I could be this late in the movie. Why does the lady next to Neil look like a dude up on stage? There’s big boy Robbie. Robbie thanks Daddy for helping out with the Penny situation. Ohhhh, wrong thing to say dumbass. I like this black dude, but I would have liked Scatman Crothers.
Johnny comes back to get out the “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” line. He had to interrupt the song…..that’s a damn shame. Damnit, stop talking, get to the fucking song! There we go, it’s about time to see this scene that is iconic. I have seen so many clips of this, so it’s nice to finally see it. The mom is suddenly funny and has lines. Bitches be screaming. There’s the big jump. Shit, fantastic. Now everybody is fucking grooving. Thank you for this. There’s the old ladies getting their dance on. I would have probably ended it right there. Daddy got to say how wonderful Baby looked out there. Who needs closure when you get this dance sequence.
End Film.
TLDR
What Did We Learn From This Film?
Uhmmmm, we learned that you can fit as many montages in a movie as you see fit if you have a great soundtrack. We learned that getting an abortion can be painful if you are a dancer. We learned that Patrick Swayze had bigger tits than Baby. We learned that you should probably be upfront with your dad instead of lying. We learned that girls will love a movie that ends with a dance.
Here are my thoughts though. We learned that women like really awful movies. What point did this movie serve? Are you shitting me? Why is this movie so beloved? I mean, who thought of this premise? This is the type of movie I was looking forward to viewing so I could have a good laugh. Make no mistake about it, I enjoyed this movie because it was unintentionally bad. I have seen worse, way, way worse. This movie was watchable, don’t get me wrong, but for the hype, get the fuck out of here. It reminded me of all the type surrounding Top Gun, and the disappointment I felt after. Truth be told, I would have been happier listening to the soundtrack and reading or playing a board game than to watch this again. Nostalgia is a hell of a thing. I know a lot of movies that I like are not as great as I remember them. The Monster Squad for instance. Still, people (girls) who make this out to be some great movie, I apologize, but I have to disagree vehemently with that assessment. You know what movie had great dancing and told a better story, and this is no joke, Showgirls. Bet you don’t know every line of that movie though.
Rating: 4.0 – Mainly for the soundtrack, the montages (all of them), Wayne Knight, Daddy, and Lisa’s awful singing. Sorry if you expected me to fawn over this, and be like Wowee Zowee, this is really fucking brilliant, but it’s not. It’s mediocre nostalgia that I can’t fault a person for liking, but to be realistic, it is not really good. Sorry if you are offended, just rest assure that I love plenty of movies that are entirely mediocre, so you aren’t alone ladies. If you want to like a guilty pleasure, go do so. Like I’m going to now….hello midget porn.
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