Here we are, halfway through. Are you excited? No? You should be. Let’s enjoy Bruce at his finest.
Man, young Bruce Campbell, delightful. Oh, and a near accident. “Awww go to hell, I’m not honking at you.” – Scott. SO we have Scott and Ash as the dudes and Cheryl, Linda, and Shelly as the women. They cross a wooden bridge and the wheel sinks in, like Ice Road Truckers. They get to the cabin, yes it’s a cabin film. I kinda want to kick back and enjoy the film and give some thoughts as we go.
Love the clock stopping and the wind, and her drawing the book. There is is a basement door and it is trying to open and creeping her out. The door opens and the group is intrigued, but what’s down there. Cheryl has straight hair. Scott is a hoss and goes down alone. Linda has the sweatshirt on, and that means Shelly is the dark-haired lady. Ash goes down with a lantern, and there’s a cool door down there, and the pipes are dripping. Ash and Scott find some creepy shit, including the Book of the Dead.
So the book of the dead is made of human flesh and written in human blood per some audio recording they find. Also, this shit can possess shit. You can imagine where this goes. Cheryl spazzed out during the reading, stupid foul wench. It’s also storming. Ash has a necklace for Linda.
We have a shot of Shelly’s side boob with Scott. Cheryl is the 5th wheel. Cheryl goes outside as she thinks that she hears something. But did she? It’s foggy as fuck out, and the trees are pissed. Grapevines are wrapping around her and tearing off her clothes and exposing a nipple. Her legs get spread, and she is given some real wood…….sexually. That was hot. Admit it, you enjoyed it more than you should have. She runs away and gets to the door, after a struggle, Ash lets her ass, and she says that the trees are alive. Cheryl insists that Ash drives her away from there. The car won’t start, seems legit. He finally gets it working, but now they have to cross the bridge. And the bridge is out. Cheryl is upset, to say the least.
Well, back in the cabin, and Cheryl is possessed. Good for her! Cheryl just stabbed Linda in the ankle with a pencil. She is a hoss best and Scott locks her in the basement. They have it sorta chained well. Shelly is convinced that there is something outside, so she stands by the window, the safest place to be. Well, something just crashed through Shelly’s window. I love the sense of urgency by everybody when there is a scream. Ash is sitting around being useless, and Scott is investigating. Well, Shelly is possessed, fucking up Scott. Ash took at least 7 seconds before standing up. Scott burns Shelly for a bit. Shelly goes to stab or cut Scott, and he uses his knife. This is funny as hell, to be honest. I love the sword or knife, whatever the fuck it is. Shelly melted a big. These guys are clueless. Scott chops the hell out of her with the axe. Scott wishes to bury Shelly. Safe.
Scott wants to bail, but Ash is worried about Linda. Ash checks on Linda and her wound just made her all fucked up. Hahaha, Scott did not make it far. Ash pimp slapping Linda is fucking priceless. Linda appears normal, now Cheryl wants to be free. She’s like Wilford Brimley in The Thing. Ash takes Linda out to the woodshed and finally gets the chainsaw. Sweet!
The whole franchise is a mess to blog about, to be honest. I guess there is a reason that I have held off on writing this and Phantasm for so long. I knew that some things would be difficult, but for my style, it was really difficult. So allow me to kinda summarize.
Crazy shit keeps happening, Ash mainly battles against Linda, although toward the end Scott finally turned as well, and it was a hilarious mess. When I say hilarious, I mean that it had more humor than your typical horror film, but was still within the realm of horror because of the tone and nature of the film, it still had plenty of scary things going on. I point this out because this is arguably the only film in the franchise that made horror the priority over comedy. The tree rape was amazing, and some of the effects were really well done. I also enjoyed the way it closes. This is my favorite of the franchise, but that is always subject to change.
Final rating: This is a fun movie. It’s a 7.1 for me because I feel it just has a little more appeal to me than a 7.0
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
Renaissance Pictures (presents)
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