Feast 1 was a treat, and we know how good sequels usually are, so I’m expecting this to be awful, BUT I have never seen Feast 2 or 3, so I gotta see what they are about and hopefully find myself a hidden gem. Really, that’s what this is all about. We all have friends that have recommended movies to us that we’ve never heard of, and every once in awhile they nail it. Back in the day, you could go into your local video rental place, and look and look and rent a well known movie and then try something that you’ve never heard of. Without rental stores, in some ways it is harder now to find these hidden gems. We have to depend on trying out movies on Netflix, or scouring message boards on IMDb or reading somebody’s newest “top 20” bullshit list. My taste in films will certain differ from yours, but I try to give you the info you’re gonna need to make a solid judgement regarding whether you want to invest the next hour and a half to two hours on a film. I am really tired. On with the movie!!!
Feast 2 brings back a few members of the original cast. That’s cool with me. I won’t say who because, well that would be a spoiler for those who haven’t seen the first. it’s not like Halloween 3, you can make the safe assumption that Michael Meyers will keep returning. Wait, there’s 10 Halloween films, and Michael Meyers was in all of them but part 3? That would be idiotic. It happened. I always have to bring this up.
So the movie starts right off where the first one left us it appears. Continuity is amazing. Also love that this is called Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds. They know their audience. IMDB is recommending that I watch Hatchet. Yup, I’ll hit up those 3 this year I think. And we already have boobs. Score one for the good guys.
Well the biker chick’s sister is in this one. It’s the same lady from the first, so they must be twins. One of my favorite characters has returned! And is this a midget? 2 midgets? And their wrestlers called Thunder and Lighting! I am so happy. They also just tried portraying a woman’s bush, but it was beyond fake, so can’t count it for any of my totals. It was about as fake as any time Bud Bundy got flung in Married With Children.
There is a hobo character. Really good character ideas so far. Wow, the dude who played Cole on the TV show Martin is in this and his name is Slasher. I so want him to live long in this film. I knew I recognized his name, just would have never guessed from Martin. Biker momma has 4 other girls with her. And yes, I just sang the whole Sons Of Anarchy song in my head. “The crow flies straight”. Some of these biker chicks are sleazy on the eyes.
So it appears these monsters are tearing up this whole small town. They are trying to appeal to dudes who enjoy biker chicks with guns. Good call! The bikers are called The Bleeders. One chick is trying to go for the Kelly Bundy first 3 seasons look. I’m not opposed whatsoever. And, she dead. Damnit. Very nice, 2 hammers brought down to smash a head. Delightful! Woohoo, one of my favorites is back on screen.
So the biker chicks are hunting down somebody. People from the previous film are back. This is definitely different from the first one, I’ll give them credit there. We’re at about the one third mark, so this is where I kinda sit back, take it all in, just like yo mutha, and reflect upon it when it’s finished unless something epic happens in the meantime.
There’s too much “gross out” moments, puking and stuff with other appendages and body fluids. 10-20% of that would have gotten the point across. Sometimes less is better. I enjoy that the one midget only speaks Spanish and likes to say “Save the pussy”. I really dig the red headed biker, possibly my favorite out of the group. Great plan involving the midgets, and 2 more pairs of boobs, one being my red headed lady. Otherwise, this has delineated into SyFy movie of the week type effects and plot. Midget fight!!!! Also, these 2 girls are just gonna be topless for the rest of the film, so 10-15 mins I am assuming. That is fantastic. One girl is in a thong, that also counts. Hell both are skimpy, plus a third chick.
What the fuck kind of ending was what? All of that build up….and we get that? Wow, they got balls to do that.
OK, so final thoughts. The T&A was above average based on quantity but not not quality. The jokes were sloppy, but the midgets helped that. Too may times were they going for the gross out. I mean how many times do I need to see somebody puke? It was not a good story, it just wasn’t. The first made so much more sense. This story just dragged on and on. It reminds me of one of the Phantasms that simply goes very little, very slowly. They did try though…I think. And there was a lot to love. In the end, I don’t foresee myself viewing this ever again. I’m going to give it a 4.1. You may like it if you like the SyFy channel original movies, add in more puking, guts, gore, and T&A, but at what cost? Funny thing, looking up a suitable pic, and about a third of them are of the topless women. At least it’s fans have their priorities straight, I guess.
I don’t own the rights to this picture or film. It’s from the film, so they are the owners, not me.
T & A Totals updated, but note the amount of ass in this was nice, but it didn’t fit any category. Also, dropping rape as a category…for now.
17 Bare breasts
3 bare asses
2 concealed breasts
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Dimension Extreme (presents)
- Neo Art & Logic (in association with) (as Neo Art & Logic Productions)
- LivePlanet (as Live Planet)
Please go find a copy and support the creators.