I feel like this is one of the Friday the 13th films that I don’t usually watch. Hopefully, my memory is incorrect and I have a great time. I know that this was originally in 3D. Some horror films are made so much worse due to this terrible gimmick.
Really, they start right off with Ginny’s final showdown with Jason at his shack? Does this happen in every film? I know it is important to catch people up. I’m just going to sit back, enjoy my cold pizza and my French Vanilla cappuccino. It’s a cool night in upstate NY, so this feels about right. One of the things with older slashers is that the big strikes are so methodical looking. You can dodge half of the swings and then the slow motion. I’m glad that is a thing of the past. Was the machete to the shoulder supposed to hurt, maim, or kill? I assume kill since they bailed, but that makes zero sense.
Oh man, I forgot how much I enjoyed this opening music. Starring a bunch of people that you’ve never heard of, I am guessing. Oh, Richard Brooker is Jason in this one. Harry Manfredini always did some fun music. I can’t wait to get to Kane Hodder. There’s a man that understood the role. 7 and a half minutes later, we can start the movies. It’s only an hour and 35 minutes, so figure 3 minutes for credits. I love shorter horror that doesn’t provide much fluff.
Speaking of fluff. I recently tried a grilled fluffernutter with banana sandwich. Here are my observations. That may be the single messiest sandwich that I have ever had. I do not enjoyed heated banana at all. I may have enjoyed the sandwich without banana, but not sure if I have that much care to try it again. You have to find just the right time to wait for it to cool so you don’t have peanut butter and fluff dripping on your face. I’ll stick to my grilled cheese and bacon or ham sandwiches. Back to the film!
Wait, I lied. I just found this interesting tidbit about the film. Per Wikipedia: ” The original storyline was supposed to focus on a post-traumatic Ginny Field who began learning self-defense and returned to college after surviving her ordeal in the previous film. After finding Paul’s corpse inside her dormitory, she prepares to track down Voorhees and face him in a final confrontation. However, this concept was abandoned when Amy Steel declined to reprise her role.[ ” The reality is, this would have probably been the better story, but Ginny was a horrible character. NOW back to the film!
We are at some Crystal Lake store, Edna yells at Harold about mucking up the clothes hanging outside. Ohhh, Harold had the pole focused close the screen. I bet that really popped in 3D. Edna is listening to the news with reports about the murders at Crystal Lake. There’s footage of Ginny getting in the ambulance. Edna looks out and there is an unmasked Jason roaming by the clothes. She is still pissed at Harold. These folks are gonna get got. She goes out to get the clothes and Jason is just wandering.
Harold has a fish named Lionel. and H20 maybe. Oh, there’s a big rabbit inside by the veggies. Mmmm, planters peanuts. I think that may be either OJ or possibly Sunny D, and a chocolate donut. Jesus, Harold is my favorite so far. Edna gives him shit for eating too much. Harold goes out to the garage to put back with rabbit, finds one of his pets dead, and there’s a snake hat popped out. Yay 3D.
Harold is on the toilet, drinking some Jack I think. This film really should be cleaned up if possible. It looks kinda bad at some points, to be honest. Harold is walking around after hearing something and we know that Jason is around thanks to the music. Annnnd clever to the chest. Edna hears something and goes to check on Harold. Edna finds a rat. She backs away toward a door and gets a knitting needle through the back of her dome.
Time to meet the new people. Shelly is an obnoxious weirdo prankster. There’s Andy and Debbie who just want to fuck all the time, good for them. Our main girl is Chris Higgins. Andy got Shelly a date. This poor girl. They are there to pick up Vera, and her mom isn’t happy. Vera is unimpressed by SHelly. The van is on fire….wait, it’s just the stoners, Chuck and Chill. Debbie apparently pregnant. Oh, the cops are behind them. Time to eat the weed. And then the cops go past them. Ha! The cops show up to deal with the Harold and Edna murders. They must be on their way to Higgins Haven, if the video game is accurate, which it usually is.
The van almost runs over this old guy laying in the middle of the road. He’s got a bit of crazy to him. He is trying to warn the kids, more terrible 3D BS. Who was the old guy who wasn’t Ralph? His name was Abel. And he was a messenger of God. Makes sense. Okay, I haven’t even commented on appearances yet. Chris is very pretty, the best of the group. Rick is her boyfriend and surprises her in the cabin. Rick looks significantly older than Chris. See, I pause the films so much out of stupid curiosities. Only a 4-year difference. I failed us all. Rick wants to fuck now, but she isn’t having it.
Shelly didn’t want to go skinny dipping because he’s not skinny enough. Poor Shelly. Debbie and Andy get to share a hammock for a bed. Rick has his shirt off and providing some eye candy for those who may be interested.
There’ s a scream. Did Shelly do something stupid? Chelly falls out of a closet with a clever in his head, and of course, it’s just a gag. Everybody is pissed. Vera and Shelly head into town. Debbie is quite pretty too, but not as fashionable as Chris. At the store, Shelly tosses his wallet to Vera, but some badass black chick wants it and here two ruffian friends agree with her. This is so amazingly 80’s. Vera is very pretty, and gets hotter when she gets angry. The 3 badasses are named Ali, Fox, and Loco. Okay, before looking at IMDB, let’s see if I can get the names to the right characters. My guess is Ali is black guy, Loco is white guy, and Fox with the woman. I think I got them right. I thought for sure I’d be wrong on 2 of them.
They get to the car and Shelly accidentally backs into the motorcycles. Ali smashes the windshield and driver side window. Shelly ain’t having it. He does a 180 and runs over Al’s bike and Ali is fantastically outraged.
Andy likes playing with yo-yos. That was a thing in the 80’s. Shelly impressed Vera. Rick is all pissed. He wants to leave but Chris wants him to stay. The power of pussy. Jason is watching from the barn. Debbie wants to go swim with Andy. She’s wearing a nice blue bikini, hard nips, but nice bikini.
The “gang” is here to siphon gas from the van to get their vengeance. Ohhh, Fox has 2 foxtail looking things attached to her belt. She decides to hang out in the barn. Good things should be happening to her soon. She is not alone. I don’t understand why she thinks it is okay to just wander through this barn. She fell and almost got a face full of pitchfork. She decides to climb the ladder. She is playing around on the rope pulley thing to get the hay in the barn. Loco tells her to cut that shit out before Ali gets pissed. Then Fox disappears. Loco goes in the barn to investigate while carrying the gas can and smoking a cig. Now Loco is pissed at Fox. What is the relationship of the Gang? Oh, Loco sees Fox pitchforked through the neck and he then gets a pitchfork in his belly. Is that an instant death? Now, Ali goes into the barn. Dead Loco falls onto Ali. Ali grabs a machete, but Jason is a bigger badass, with nice new clothes. Is Ali dead or just beaten? I guess we can assume dead.
Debbie doesn’t want to fuck in the barn. I don’t get Rick’s deal. I don’t really get Chris’ deal either. Either fuck or move on. Andy and Shelly are having a juggling competition. Debbie is gonna put an end to that with sex talk. I like Vera’s pants. Shelly professes his like for Vera, and she says that they can talk later. Vera’s sweatshirt thing is awful. Jason is watching Shelly, briefly. Shelly’s gonna be fine.
Andy and Debbie time. She is topless, but very minor partial sideboob. Ugh, Chris and Rick, blah blah, blah. Chris’ mother hit Chris after her date with Rick and that was the first time her mom ever hit her. Seriously, bitch never got punished? She went and hid in the woods to punish her parents. She was hanging out by a tree, but Jason found her and dragged her. She blacked out. I call bullshit. Jason woulda fucked her up. When she woke up, she was in her own bed. I wouldn’t come back after that shit. Rick’s car battery just died, because this is a horror flick.
Chill is sleeping, Chuck goes to the outhouse. Why so many people going to the bathroom in this? The outhouse starts to shake as he is smoking. He thinks that it’s Shelly. He sees someone go in the barn, and then Chill frightens Chuck. Chill wants to scare Shelly in the barn. Chill isn’t very chill. She’s more attractive than a dude who looks like Chuck should be getting, unless he supplies all the drugs.
Vera sits on the dock and gets grabbed. Shelly pops up with a hockey mask and thinks that this is gonna help him get chicks. Vera actually likes his dumbass. He has no self-confidence, and this is coming from someone with no self-confidence. Shelly decides to visit the barn now. Seriously, must everybody visit the barn as if it’s the garden in Game of Thrones?
Vera looks through Shelly’s wallet, drops it in the water. It has a picture of Shelly and his mom. Vera, I’m gonna miss you. She’s entering the water. Jason is walking around with Shelly’s hockey mask, yes, THE hockey mask. He also has a spear gun and Vera gets it in the eye and more 3D action. Maybe this would have been fun in 3D. Shame, I wanted to see her nude.
Andy and Debbie are getting freaky. It’s now or never for nudity because Chris sure won’t be nude. Debbie is going to take a show. Okay, there was a bit of nipple. I feel at peace now. Andy checks to see if she wants a beer while he is walking on his hands. I think Jason just cut Andy down the middle. I do appreciate all the boob shots, but I feel that was a quick shower. Her hair is perfectly dry. So did she not even bother washing her face? She gets back in the hammock, because you know that we need a hammock kill. She is looking at a Fangoria, and there was Tom Savini. Blood drips, Jason drives machete through her back/neck area.
Chuck is making popcorn. The power goes out and Chill wants him to go down check on the fusebox, alone. That’s not cool. I would have dragged her bitch ass with me. I ain’t letting her eat all my damn popcorn. There’s a scraping noise. Chill opens the door and Shelly is there with a very cut throat and she assumes he is joking. Chuck turns on the fusebox but gets tossed into by Jason. Chill now realizes that Shelly is dead. Time for her to run around screaming. Jason grabs a hot poker. I’m not going to say what you all expect me to. Hot poker right through the abdomen. And then there were two.
You know how this plays out by now. Find a quiet house, blood, maybe some bodies. Maybe check out the barn. Maybe Rick dies, but Chris will live. Just guessing here.
They find the burnt popcorn. RIck is looking around the cabin. Time to go exploring. Jason has Rick and is covering his mouth and Chris doesn’t see or hear them. Jason just picked up Rick and squeezed his head and that was the worst special effect ever. Wow. Yeah, I definitely didn’t remember that. The bathtub is flooding the place. She finds a bloody towel or clothing. And now it’s barn time because the barn has been the more important set-piece than the cabin. Oh, Loco just dropped from a tree at just that moment. Time to find more bodies, I would assume.
Why does the wind blow doors open in every one of these films? Rick gets flung in from the window and hers Jason, with an axe. Chris drops a bunch of books on Jason. Now time to hide. She should have opened a couple of doors and made Jason think that she was in one of them. Oh, she just found Debbie, screamed, and gave herself away. She takes out the knife from Debbie and she is swinging on Jason and he is backpedaling and gets stabbed and falls. What a pussy. He redeems himself by throwing the knife at her.
She goes to escape out the window, but he grabs her, but the coat rips. Now she looks in the window to see that he’s climbing down the stairs. She bashes him with a log as he exits the cabin. She goes for the van. Hey, it started. Can’t wait to see the gas situation. She tries to run into Jason, but he quickly dodges. She gets to the bridge, and van stops. Here comes Jason, he’s limping, the bridge is breaking. Jason has her by the throat. She rolls up the window and he can’t do anything. He finally headbutts the glass.
She barricades herself…in the barn. We have about 8 minutes remaining. I am anticpating at least 2 more 3D effects. I know that the rope pulley will be used to some degree. She is mounted on a wooden beam, like riding that thing. She drops down onto him. He grabs the machete. Swing and a miss. She goes up the ladder and blocks it off with hay. She has a shovel She whacks him in the head with the shovel. There we go. Time to tie him up to the pulley. She ties it around his throat. That’s a bit mean. She just lynched Jason. Too soon!!!
She climbs down thinking that she has won the night. She unlatches the barn doors. What’s on the other side? A lynched Jason, who shows her his face to mock her. Ohhhh shit, Ali was alive and makes the save…well he dies immediately. She grabs the axe. She buries it in Jason’s face. Jason lurches toward her but runs out of steam. She nudges his head and he appears to be dead. Now she hangs out by a canoe, just like Alice in the original. It’s day time, she’s still in the canoe. I have a great feeling about this. They keep trying to give us false scares. Inside the barn, she sees a bloody faces Jason.
She gets her canoe stuck on a tree limb. Jason is out, but now he’s gone. Mr.s Voorhees jumps out of the water and drags Chris into the water. The police are there and Chris is alive. She’s hysterical. Why even agree to be a cop in that area? There’s jasons body in the barn where it was. We see ripples in the water where Mrs. Voorhees jumped out.
End Film
Actually, this wasn’t bad at all. I do think that they should have revealed Chris’ past earlier so we could understand her actions soon. But at least they developed the final girl’s character. The 3D hurt the overall value of watching it at home. I enjoyed a lot of the characters and they all had opportunities to shine, which is very rare, but none stood out aside from Shelly.
This is historic because Jason gets his iconic mask here. I am not sure why Mrs. Voorhees showed up, seemed really unnecessary. Was Chris imagining/dreaming everything at the end once she got in the canoe? That’s the safest assumption that I have. For a part 3, this was really good and I liked it far more than I remember enjoying it. The big question is whether it was better than part 2. I’d say yes, but just barely. If Part 2 was a 6.3 then this is just a hair better.
Final Rating: 6.4 and be thankful I didn’t just say 6.3D because I was super tempted to be gimmicky.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Paramount Pictures (presents)
- Jason Productions (A Jason Inc./Frank Mancuso Jr. Production)
- Frank Mancuso Jr. Productions (A Jason Inc./Frank Mancuso Jr. Production) (A Steve Miner Film)
- Georgetown Productions Inc. (uncredited)
- Sean S. Cunningham Films (uncredited)
Please go find a copy and support the creators.