I think this may be the third time that I have seen this film. I remember the second time that I watched it, I didn’t realize I had seen it until I was over halfway into. That is a problem that I plan on discussing. First, let’s get the plot out of the way.
You have this group of five friends: Zack, Bobby, Mikey, Jeff, and Brandy. Fuck you, Brandy, you get listed last. They plan on making….you guessed it, a fucking documentary. Found footage films, why are all of these based on making a fucking documentary. Do something original!! What I do like is that the topic of the aforementioned documentary is haunted houses, henceforth the name of the film. They specifically want to find the most extreme haunts. The conversations with the workers are actually good stuff, probably the highlight of this film to get people’s thoughts on working at these things. Of course, they piss off the wrong group, the Blue Skeletons, which leads to them harassing the group, leading to stupid shit at night and the grand finale. If you’ve seen Blair Witch, then this film follows that exact model. Instead of filming a documentary about a witch, they film it about haunted houses.
I will tell you that I liked some of the interviews. I liked the angry “carny” type people that would harass the group. Letting the girl in their RV was actually fun. There are enough things here to really enjoy. If you had a 2-minute opening saying these are your 5 main characters and since there’s only one girl, you know who the survivor is, and then just go to the “scary” scenes, you may have a good 45 minutes film. But there is too much bullshit bonding. I have read a few places that the group dynamic was one of the strong suits of this film. Well, those who say that are fucking morons that should be put to sleep, permanently. If you want a fucking buddy film, go watch one. The group dynamic here was boring as fuck.
The fact that you have four dudes, two of them are big, and yet she’s the survivor. Enough with that shit. Fuck feminism, fuck useless old tropes and pave the way for some truth-telling and logic. That’s what infuriates me the most. Under no circumstances would she be the last one standing. And I know what some of you may say: “Did you see the sequel?” Unfortunately, I did. But I can’t let what happened in the sequel affect how I feel about this film as a stand-alone and the story that it told. I think that is fair.
This wasn’t that enjoyable. I did fast forward through a good chunk, maybe 30 minutes of bullshit that bored me. Like, I said, I have seen this before. No sense in torturing myself. Still, I have seen it three times, and by the rules that I made, that means it gets a 5 or higher. I hate my rules sometimes. Also, this came from the same producers that gave us Insideous and Paranormal Activity and I don’t like either franchise, so there’s that. Oh, Brandy apparently won some best actress award for this trash. DO you realize how shitty your film festival is if she won best actress? What the fuck did she really do? Best actress, my ass.
Rating: 5.1 – The concept is there with the haunted houses. It’s really good. The Blue Skeleton stuff isn’t bad at all. When they do horror, it worked well. But it was beyond boring and irritating at times as well, and that needs to be acknowledged. Know what you are getting yourself into, and you can have fun with this.
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