I’m starting off my October 2022 with this film because it reminds me of one of my favorite nights. Sometime in 1998, Russ invited me over to his place to spend the night and just play video games and watch a movie. In Video World, our local rental store, we came upon this silly-looking video with a lenticular cover. If you don’t know what that is, it’s when you move the object, you can see 2 different images. It’s a movie about a killer snowman. We were sold.
We went and got a bunch of unhealthy snacks and hung out in the basement, doing our thing. Keep in mind, we never expected this to be a good movie, just something to give us a good laugh. It delivered that. We laughed and laughed, and anytime since then, if I was going to watch this movie, I would send Russ a message. Usually something with the tagline “He’s chillin’…..and killin'” and we would always get a stupid laugh out of it.
Now, here I am, about to watch Jack Frost, and I can’t have that laugh with Russ. I wish I could, but I can’t because Russ died in an accident this past July. Right now, I wish I could have that stupid moment with him. For about a month now, I had been asked what would be the first October movie. I had considered a multitude of them. Around 9 PM, like 3 hours ago, I was looking through the horror sections of various streaming services. I was looking in Peacock, and I saw this. Just like that, I knew that this had to be it.
With that all in mind, I just made some chicken wing dip. I have 10 boxes of various Monster cereals (Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Franken Berry, and Fruit Brute) that were all given to me by special ladies in my life: Emily, my mom, Kayleigh, and Heather. I’m going to indulge in these tasty treats. I will attempt not to wax poetically too much.
Obviously, I dedicate this one to Russ.
Start Film
We start off with a little girl asking Uncle Henry for a happy scary story. We get a story about Jack Frost, who was a big-time killer. We see a Christmas tree with ornaments that have the names of the cast and crew on them. This is actually a funny opening. We find out that Jack was caught by the authorities.
We get a State Execution Transfer Vehicle traveling in a very bad winter storm. They just crossed the Snowmonten County line, wherever that is. The driver and guard are making jokes. Jack has killed Harv, the other prisoner in the back with him. There is a car accident due to low visibility, with another vehicle. The truck flips numerous times, and then there’s a fire. The Guard driver wakes up and Jack has escaped. An explosion from the other truck of some kind of chemical or acid. Jack starts to melt into the snow. And now he is an entity made of snow. Naturally, the guard tries shooting Jack.
We meet Sheriff Sam and his wife Anne and their son, Ryan. Sam is the man who arrested Jack. Jack obviously threatened to get his vengeance. What the hell did Ryan make for his dad? It was like cookie dough. Ryan wants to enter a snowman contest. He definitely should.
We now meet Jake and his daughter, Jill, BUT WAIT! Jill is played by Shannon Elizabeth in her first film role before American Pie. Billy is Jake’s son, Sally is Jake’s wife. Tommy is building “Cindy Snowflake”, a “sexy” snowman. Paul is Tommy’s dad, and that’s who Sam talks to next. They have tried telling the same joke twice now, which is: do you know the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! You’re welcome.
Ohhhh, Jill seems into Tommy. Why does the snow look so fuzzy? I know why, but wow, it looks bad. It does add to the charm. Wow, Shannon Elizabeth was born in 73 and this came out in 97, and yet she does look like a teen.
Sam gets to the Sheriff’s Office and we meet Marla, who is moody and smoking. Old Man Harper was murdered. Sam contacts Agent Manners of the FBI. Manners assures Sam that Jack Frost is dead. Manners talks to Agent Stone, about the acid working. The doctor explains how Harper died and implies whoever did it had something soft on their hands, like a mitten. Yeah.
Anne returns home and now Ryan has made some cookies made of oats that are shaped like snowmen. Anne notes the snowman by the driveway and Ryan says he didn’t do it. She says that she noticed that it didn’t have a face and just randomly hands Ryan not one, but three carrots. She has 2 grocery bags and why is she giving him three carrots? What are the other two for? And did she buy more than 3 carrots? How many does one person usually buy? I feel like she won’t have enough for whatever meal that she will be preparing. These are the things that keep me up at night!!
Townsfolk are rabbling at the Sheriff’s Office. Paul is offering 20% off ammo in his store. Well alright! Joe wants to take Marla out for lunch. Ryan is now working on the snowman’s face, and the mouth moves when Ryan isn’t paying attention. Did Ryan really need to bring out a glove or oven mitt of a snowman to ensure that he got the design right? Two eyes, one nose, and a mouth. Oh, two twigs for eyebrows too.
Billy the bully, and 3 of his friend give Ryan a hard time and knock the head off the snowman. As he is talking smack, Billy falls and his sled is propelled to decapitate him, see his very odd-looking colored head fly in the air, and Ryan just says “I didn’t do it” as Bart Simpson did years prior. in “Bart Gets Famous” season 5 episode 12 The townsfolk gather to observe the coroners. Jake is yelling at Sally and Sam. Jake is blaming Ryan for killing his son. Yeah, that seems reasonable.
Hey, Anne is cutting up celery and carrots. I bet she wishes she bought more carrots now. Sam is looking through old notes that Jack sent him. Then there’s a sound. It’s Paul delivering salt. 20% off too! At those prices, how can he stay in business?
Sally wants to put the tree lights on, and Jake is flipping out. Jill is gonna see Tommy. Sally is fantastic. She is my favorite character along with Paul. Jack Frost, as a snowman, is outside with Jake. Jake starts smoking and Jack wants a smoke just as he did in the transport vehicle. Jake can’t figure out who is talking to him. Then he tries to get his axe out of a tree stump. He succeeded, and now he talks shit, and Jack steals the axe his arm looks amazing. Jake gets the axe pushed down his throat. Jack makes a quip about only axing for a smoke. Get it?
Sally finds water on the floor. She is upset but calms with her tea. She sits down and a giant snowman is behind her, but she didn’t see Jack. Poor Sally. The tree lights are on, and she finds it sweet, but then odd. Jack steals the cord. She backs up into Jack who wraps the lights around her throat, put a glass ornament in her mouth, slams her mouth shut, smashes her face into a box of ornaments twice, and popcorn strings her up to the tree. She got a good death. Paul walks in because he’s delivering salr, only to find Sally and Jack. Paul runs away, but not very fast.
The Sheriffs arrive at Jake and Sally’s place. The other Sheriff that isn’t Joe is eating from a snowman Pez dispenser. Nice touch.
Sam returns to the office to find Manners and Stone. Old Man Harper’s death is similar to one that they have been tracking. Manners asks if the MVs have been moved yet. Sam replies “Motor Vehicles?”. Manners meant Murder Victims, but this was actually one of the funnier exchanges. Sam is sad that this case is being taken out of his hands. Marla calls Manners an asshole.
At the crime scene, Stone analyzes the water puddle. Stone is pumped that Jack was able to melt through the doggy door and refreeze, and that in some way makes even less sense than a killer snowman. Don’t ask me to defend my opinion because I got nothing. The doctor is telling Sam that whoever shoved the axe down Jake’s throat had to be immensely powerful. Manners is bringing in a task force and wants the town to be on a curfew.
The townsfolk are gathered in an auditorium. Jill and Tommy are missing. The priest, Father Branagh has gathered everyone and turned on the boiler. This may be the church. There’s a raucous outside. Paul is messing with all the snowmen that were built. Manners knocks out Paul. Hahaha. Joe is gonna take Paul to a cell. Chris is the other sheriff. He is asked to go to Paul’s place and look for clues. Chris is singing about himself and then he slams on the breaks. Why, you may ask? Because Jack Frost is holding a stop sign.
Now, this is absolutely where we lost it. We had seen some silly stuff, some genuinely funny stuff, but a sheriff stopping at a snowman holding a stop sign is the most absurd thing. And it’s fantastic. If you can’t appreciate something like that, I worry about you. Chris gets out of the car to inspect the snowman, naturally, and opens the trunk to get a shovel. The trunk is concealing what is happening. Jack isn’t there, now there is just a puddle, and Chris blames this on thermal updrafts. So he puts the shovel away and sees Jack in the backseat, but then Jack is driving and runs into Chris. Wow, just let that all sink in. Tremendous. This is why this film has a cult following.
Sam talks to Ryan and finds out that Anne went home to get more blankets. She has 2. A cop car shows up. I wonder, and then water starts coming into the kitchen from under the sink. And yeah, the pipe had an ice burst, and Joe to the rescue. Joe’s got jokes. Joe is giving her home improvement advice.
Then we pan slowly to the right and we see Jill and Tommy standing outside Sam’s home. Jill is a bad influence. They break in. She gets scared of the dark and she will need a really big boy to look after her, as she grabs his crotch. Go on. Then she starts to dance to the 12 Days of Christmas, little stripping. They have so many layers on. The music really works here. As does Shannon. If he wants her, she wants a roaring fire and a bottle of wine.
So he pops a bottle of champagne while she dries her hair. He needs ice. The freezer just has snow and a carrot, and he doesn’t think that this is weird. The ice or snow looks like cotton. The ice goes into the glass. Then a snowball hits the window. Tommy looks for a weapon, a pie cutter, an egg beater, and finally an ice pick. Tommy opens the door and demands to know who is out there. Then like a Tyson blow to the dome, Jack punches him and heavy metal music plays, and Jack says “Well, it ain’t fucking Frosty.” Ha. Ice pick versus a snowman, and that fails. Jack can now shoot ice projectiles like he’s Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat. This movie has everything!! The first spike through the shoulder, the second through the head.
Jill, your hair is super dry. You need a drink, you minx. Oh, she sees that the bath is full, and thanks Tommy, whose head is bobbling up and down. She starts to take off her clothes. For a mid 90’s pair of panties, those are quite sexy. Still playing that great music. Actually, the music has been really good for a low-budget film. Ohhh, a puddle trail is in the bathroom. Then a carrot pops up in the tub. Then the water starts getting cold. Jack has engulfed her in some way, her arms are through his middle ball. Oh, his hands just happen to be covering her ass. I call balderdash!! Oh wait, nope, there’s bare ass. I take my complaint back. He just keeps banging her against the wall and snowman rape, then side boob. Yup, that was something to behold.
Manners can’t get his men in due to the geography of the area. Manners is all kinds of pissy and Stone is practically blowing the secret. Chris’ vehicle arrives but no Chris and a wet seat. Manners has a decent arsenal. Marla sees snow and a scarf. Jack appears behind her. Sam is in shock, Manners takes a shot or 3. And it didn’t affect Jack. Sam demands an explanation. They think that they are safe but water starts coming in. Jack can only be hurt when he is in his frozen state, per Stone. Jack reforms and Sam uses a hair dryer to keep Jack at bay, but then he pulls out the cord. Stone is the one technically in charge. They are gathering aerosol cans. All cans are being sprayed as Jack is leaking around. Sam has to go back to get the keys to unlock the window. This is so silly. He gets the keys, but Jack grabs him. Paul grabs Sam and tells him not to leave him. They can’t breathe.
They get the window open. out goes Marla, Stone, Paul, Manners, and then Sam. Okay, they all escaped. Manners takes his shot and the building explodes. Paul thinks it is over. But now little snowballs are forming. Jack is back but deformed. Hahaha.
In the church, Sam tries to take charge and work with Manners. Sam demands to know the truth from Stone. Stone explains the acid and its properties. This means that the soul exists. Stone has no idea how to stop it, but they can attempt to contain it. Possibly, sustained heat can destroy the helix. So time to lure him to the basement. They sense is about to make an entrance as the camera shakes and shakes. This is brilliant.
A big ass snowball comes barrelling into the door. Sam, Manners, Stone, and Paul are armed with hair dryers. Oh my. Jack is backing away. Sally is joining in. The priest is in on the action. They get him closer to the boiler. There are like 8-10 people now. They trap him in the boiler. This reminds me of a cross between Freddy Kruger and the one dude in Saw II. Sam says “We iced him.” Well Sam, stay frosty. Time to celebrate with woos.
Manners and Stone stay by the boiler. Manners tries to comfort Stone, but there is a leak. Jack is back. Manners grabs the dryer, but it’s unplugged. Jack says “Blow me”. Jack has some nasty ice teeth. Manners just got got. Stone tries to talk to Jack about being immortal. Stone just got got. Anne is off to get to a phone. Ryan ia with Sam. Stone comes waddling outside looking beyond strange. He pukes up white foam. I’ve seen movies like this. Sam gets in the car with Ryan. Jack melts and enters the car. Just get out of the car! Nope, no keys, so Sam tries to hot wire the car. Ryan escapes. Sam slaps Jack with the bag of out goo that Ryan made in the beginning and it is burning Jack.
Sam asks what Ryan mixed with the oats. He didn’t want his father to freeze so he mixed it with anti-freeze. Seriously kid??? Are you trying to kill your dad? Ryan apologizes. Jack’s head is partially melted and he has like red brain material. Paul crashes into Jack. Paul takes Ryan.
Sam gets Jack to chase him and tells the Snowballs joke. Oh my. They knew what they were doing with the writing. Sam is barricading himself in like a Bed and breakfast, or is this the church? Paul is getting all the anti-freeze from his store. I bet it’s 20% off. Jack is piercing Sam with an icicle. Jack has so many good lines here. Paul comes and Sam tackles Jack through the window into the bed of the truck filled with anti-freeze. This is every bit as wonderful as it sounds. Lots of melting snowman, the fog is thick, Anne, Ryan, Father, and Paul cheering him on. Then Ryan says “Hey, you forgot this arm” and then Jack wraps Ryan. So they dump him in the anti-freeze.
Wouldn’t the anti-freeze have been absolutely torturous on Sam’s open wound? Now we get a dark version of “Oh Holy Night” but it sounds really good, like the singer has a good voice. They are refilling the bottles of Anti-freeze. Time to bury the bottles in consecrated ground. The backup finally arrives. Just like in Monster Squad. In the end, we see the liquid bubbling. Then we get credits and some heavy metal. The credits have a lot of funny or silly phrases, making it worth watching.
End Film
If you read all of that, what is there left to say? You know damn well that I am going to rate this higher than it deserves. But for a moment, let’s take my sentimentality out of this. Let’s forget all the nostalgia that I have. What are we left with?
The negatives are very clear. This isn’t a film, it’s a movie. The artistic merit isn’t very high, as they opted to just have fun. The Jack Frost costume isn’t great. I can also add that to the positive side of this because it was charming, but I know that this is a major complaint. the effects are often cheesy as hell. Once again, I don’t think that they wrote this wanting to make Independence Day. They knew what they were about and leaned into it. There are some times where you can question the continuity, like was Jack in the backseat or front seat of Chris’ car? The budget is low, and maybe you just can’t force yourself to sit through something like this. I have no idea why you would be at my site reading my reviews, but so be it.
Let’s look at the positives. The music in this is really good, arguably the best part of the whole thing. The humor is also high up there, but it certainly isn’t for everybody, and I acknowledge this. But if you know that you’re gonna watch a movie about a killer snowman, I think you have already lowered your expectations significantly. the acting was actually decent. Some of the actors were better than others, but they all looked like they had a lot of fun.
There’s that word again, fun. That’s what this movie is. it doesn’t have some message about race or politics or gender inequality. It’s just a movie that is meant to be fun. In that regard, it succeeds, much like Tucker and Dale vs Evil, for example. The writer/director of this also wrote Identity and noted that Jack Frost’s budget was similar to the cost of catering on Identity and was a third of the budget of Campbell Soup’s “Let It Snow” advertisement.
Everybody involved should be proud.
I hope that you all take the time to find that person in your life with who you can just laugh about the dumbest shit, sit down with some snacks, and enjoy a silly movie about a killer snowman. I couldn’t be more grateful to have had that experience.
Final Rating: 6.0
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Frost Bite Films Ltd. (copyright holder)
- Moonstone Entertainment
- Storyteller Films Ltd. (as Storyteller)
Please go find a copy and support the creators.