1 year before the god awful movie titled Ouija came out, there is a low budget film that came out called The Ouija Experiment. I have already seen this. IMDB gives this a lower rating 3.6 vs 4.4 comparatively with Ouija. So is it worse? Is that possible? I have questions, and I will now give you answers. This is on Netflix, so please kick back, try to relax, and enjoy the ride.
This was made on a very small budget. It’s all handheld found footage bullshit. OK, we start off with a douchebag named Brandon with his girlfriend Shay, she is pretty. Here’s Lynette, she’s the token black chick. She is very pretty. Shay is obnoxioous. They are going to Michael’s house. Calvin is a jacked token black dude, and a personal favorite of mine. Brandon has a Youtube channel and is trying to record all this shit, but Michael ain’t having it. Calvin and Lynette are dating. Michael wants to do this whole thing with a Ouija board. Hahaha, a Twilight joke. Michael doesn’t want Brandon recording while they use the board. Michael has some rules. Of course he does. Calvin is Michael’s best friend. Wait, Calvin is with Shay. OK, sorry for the confusion. I don’t know how Brandon fits in, and poor Lynette is the black chick without a dude. Calvin is using Shay for money and ass. Good for him. He is apparently a playa.
Michael unveils the surprise to his guests that he has an Ouija board. Lynette is terrified of it and is saying very stereotypical black girl lines. I don’t know if she was written this poorly, or if she is THAT person. they refer to the viewer as a pointer, that’s a better term. So the viewer will not be the pointer. Rule 1: Never ask a spirit how it died, and that may freeze the board up. Rule 2: never ask spirit how you are gonna die. Rule 3: Never leave the board without saying goodbye, which obviously leaves the link open from our world to spirit world. Ha, jump scare. OK, time to stop recording for a few. Shay is trying to talk to the spirit in another language, and Calvin says “yo yo yo”. Hahaha, a white guy clearly wrote this. Suddenly, the pointer moves.
We find out that they are talking to a 5 year old named Gracie. She supposedly is right there, and Calvin jokes. She is not alone. Lisa is there. Lisa is 35. Gracie is supposed safe from Josef. He is supposedly bad, and to beware. Gracie drowned. Josef was shot to death. Suddenly Calvin gets a call, and he is clearly talking to some chick. The group is unhappy. Shay asks who Calvin is texting. The board says her name is BLR. SO now Shay is confronting him and so much stupid drama. Lynette says that maybe they should have this conversation later. Shay gets all pissy and wants to pout and leave. Calvin is now pissy. They never properly got to say goodbye. Anyway, Calvin had asked where they were, and it spelled something close to bedroom, and so they check it and pictures are all fucked up, upside down and shit. Lynette is freaked out. Michael insists that she says goodbye. They promised that they would play with the spirits tomorrow.
Calvin is recording himself, he is in a towel and dancing. In comes Shay. She’s all dressed up. He wants to try banging her on cam, and she calls him out on it. He keeps lying to her as she is pissed about the camera being on. He wants to put this on X Tube. They have the exact same doors that I have in my apartment, just say…..and there’s Calvin’s bare ass. Thanks for that guys. Shay is now in a towel. Hahaha, he has her get a shower cap for him to use as a condom, and Calvin is singing in the shower, and she finds a card with a number on it. Wah wah.
Oh great, Brandon knows a girl from YouTube. Now Lynette is acting like a walking CW black girl stereotype. I feel bad for her in some ways, but her over the top acting is a plus in a weird way. Oh god, so they are talking to this blonde bitch from youtube. “Well first of all, you don’t play with an Ouija board. You play with a deck of cards.” I want Calvin to rape her for being, and let me quote The Hound from Game of Thrones, she’s a “cunt” in the worst way. I just dislike her. Hey, one of the documented cases involved a girl named Doris, just like in the awful Ouija movie. Stupid bitch has some Stephen King books on her shelf, Dolores Claiborne, Needful Things, and Pet Sematary. Michael and Lynette start obnoxiously singing so annoying bitch ends the chat. Lynette and Michael are back to talking to the board. They are now talking to a Lisa. They don’t want to talk to Lisa, they want Gracie. And then somebody is at the door, oh it’s Shay. She wants to join in. Shay is selfishly asking about the girl Calvin was texting, and her name was Blair. Oh, Christ, Shay is mad because Michael knew all of this shit, because he took his best friend’s side. Lynette is cracking me up. SHay is flipping out so they go out to settle her ass down, and some weird noises occur on the camera while the room is empty. Michael moves the thing to say goodbye, as if that’s acceptable.
We are well past the first third, and this is a shitty film. I will say this, it has a certain charm. Michael is talking to the camera, and a cup falls in the kitchen and it sounds like a chair is moving. Jumpscare, blah blah blah. Now Lynette is on camera bitching about Shay who is pissing her off due to Calvin, and Michael is pissed cause they never said goodbye. HAHAHA, “If we start hearing noises here, you better Jackie Chan their asses.”- Lynette. Shay informs her that she is Chinese, and Lynette plays dumb. Michael is in the bathroom talking to the camera, and then he falls. Back to Shay’s dumb ass. She hears something sees an image, and is scared. She scares Lynette who was outside talking to Mike. Lynette has a hell of an ass, actually her whole body. She is well constructed.
There’s a Whitesnake reference!!! Awesome. They are back to talking to Gracie. “Hey, girl, hey.” That was Lynette at her finest. They tell her that they want to say goodbye to Josef. Gracie isn’t cool with that. Somebody is knocking, and it is Calvin. He’s all kinds of pissed off at Mike. Calvin and Shay broke up. It’s all over Blair. He’s all pissed at Mike due to this. Ugh, this is irritating. Mike is trying to be all whiny, I mean reasonable. He is irritating. Calvin asked how Shay found out, they inform him it was the board. Calvin is now mad at the board. Calvin is bouncing with the board, and he wants the truth from Mike. There is no need for a single ounce of this drama. None. And they never got to say goodbye. Brandon mocks them for failing to follow directions.
Lynette talks to the camera bitching about her bro Calvin stealing the board, and there’s some fabulous cleavage. She is going to keep the camera on all night to ward off the spirits. That’s smart. There are noises that wake her up. I fast forward because I have seen this sort of crap before.
Now the next day, Brandon is talking to mic online. He reveals that he found out that Gracie is the daughter of Lisa. Look at that. They are developing a plot. Ain’t that some shit. Josef was their slow, next door neighbor. Josef drowned Gracie. Lisa shot Josef for revenge. That scene did so much to move this film ahead. Thank you.
Calvin is playing with the board alone, and he hears something within 10 seconds. Of course he does. Calvin that he is a non believer in the board, yet keeps hearing noises, so he must go investigate. Haha. Calvin is entertaining, but this whole Shay story arc is ridiculous. And jump scare as he was talking, hands grabbed his head, he falls, is bleeding and gets dragged off screen. Lynette is on the phone with Mike. We are 2/3 the way through. Gracie died on Mike and Lynette’s birthday, April 29th. Reverse 9 Deuce bitches!!! I want onion rings. Mike falls asleep and wakes up to some noises. He goes in the bathroom and it is totally different color and whatnot, and then some noise to add to the effect. We hear a little girl’s laughter.
Now Brandon reviews Mike’s tape and Lynette wants popcorn, as do I. Haha, on the camera, it shows his bathroom as normal. Oh the comedy. The tape ends, and Mike claims that there was more. How convenient.
Now Mike is telling us about when and where you shouldn’t use the Ouija board, and how the spirits contact and relay messages, and suddenly a noise. I hear the laugh again. Nowwe see blood on the floor and the camera is vibrating violently. We are at Calvins. There’s Shay. “Is this thing on?” Really? More noises. I will say, in a lot of ways, this is better than Paranormal Activity sadly enough. The characters are more likeable. She finally finds Calvin, and he slowly looks up at her and the camera goes black when he lunges towards the camera.
Mike is looking for Gracie. I fast forward, and up in his attic he finds newspaper clippings about Gracie. Of course he is. Lynette and Brandon are on their way to Mike’s to burn the board. Brandon says on April 29th, Gracie died and 33 days later, Josef died, and Lynette is all like “nuh uh”. Josef was in a coma after the gunshot. He died on Shay’s birthday. It all happened at Mike’s house in 76. Brandon and Lynette stop at Calvin’s first. She keeps calling him brother. Is that normal for siblings? It seems odd to me. They find Calvin and Shay laying on top of a bed together unconscious.. No, Shay just freaked out, lots of weird loud spooky noises. It sounds like a bear. They grab the board and run away. Ahhh, cheesy.
Mike is still reading clips, and now we get a flashback of what REALLY happened. So we go to the bathroom and Lisa is washing Gracie in a bathtub. They are talking about going away for the weekend to like a farm or some shit. Lisa doesn’t want Gracie acting like a brat and messing up the weekend. Gracie asks if Josef can come with them. “Has he ever touch you?” No, there are no typos, that’s how Lisa talk. Haha. Am I the only one wondering why there is flashback footage in a found footage film???Lisa’s man, George, is calling her, basically saying that he can’t do the weekend, and basically ends the relationship. Crazy bitch time. I feel Lisa would fit in on Orange is the New Black. Lisa goes back to bathing Gracie. And here we go with the bathtub drowning. Josef shows up looking for Gracie. He just lets himself in, and he wants to have a tea party. Lisa is crying, and Josef approaches the bathroom. He finds her in the tub and tells her that she needs to get dressed, he’s not smart enough to understand that she is dead. Poor guy is asking her to wake up. He is starting to realize that she’s dead. Lisa enters. She tells Josef to step away from Gracie, and Josef wants he rto call for a doctor. Josef then realizes it was Lisa, and he says that he is gonna tell his mom, and he is like in his 40’s. Lisa pulls out a gun and pops Josef right in the forehead, yet he lived for 44 days? Really? Well, Lisa, there’s only one thing left to do. Check your silverware. And she slits her throat with a butch knife. I still am unsure how easy that is to do. I always am skeptical.
Back to Mike and he now knows who the killer is. He comes acros Lisa’s spirit and somebody else’s, damnit was typing. Back in the bathroom. Probably Josef or Gracie. Lynette and Brandon show up at Mike’s/. Lots of typical frantic bullshit. They burn the board as Lisa is going after them. Mike goes out to the living room, finds Lynette cradling his body. There’s Josef and Gracie. Mike is confused. They lead him to the bathoom, and he looks in the mirror and it’s just a floating camera. Mike is dead.
End film.
This is actually the second time watching this one, I hate to admit. There is something oddly charming about this. Will I ever watch it again? I don’t know. I don’t consider this 2nd viewing as a basis to give it over a 5 because this was done for review purposes. But would I watch it again? Would I show somebody this film?. The answer is probably not, but it has some fun things going for it. Allow me to elaborate. Lynette is a solid character, because she is terribly flawed, stereotyped all to hell, but still makes it work, and is hot doing it. To that end though, Shay is obnoxious as fuck and not bad on the eyes. Calvin had his moments, but he was a mid range character. Mike was perfect as the lead man, he moved along the narrative and didn’t really take anything away. Brandon….well his name is Brandon. The hard part for me is, the best part of the whole film was the flashback…..in a found footage film. How do I rate that? DO I laugh about it? DO I deduct points for that, or add points because it was the best part? Well, for a movie with a $1,200 budget, I give it props. All in all, the flashback scene worked better than anything else that they could have done. I mean, in a genre so filled with logic gaps, where does one draw the proverbial line? I do not know. I am giving this a solid 4.4. I have a soft spot because unlike the 2014 Ouija film, this had a way better story and the better pivotal scene, plus it had man ass. I mean, give the ladies something to stare at briefly. I imagine some people would give this a 2, and most people would go in the 3-4 range somewhere. I liked it a little bit more than the average person I suspect.
Final Rating: 4.4
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- La Luna Entertainment
- La Luna Films
- Out of Body Films (in association with)
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