This will be a long ass day. I got some orange juice now, my stomach feels awful. I’m yawning, and I gotta watch more of this crap. Oh yay!
So the first screen says “Paramount Pictures would like to thank the families of the deceased and the Carlsbad plice department.” Seriously? This time they are not fucking around, no foreplay, no lube, they are just shoving it right up your ass from the very first screen. I am pretty sure I saw this on on blu ray, and saw part 3 in the theater, but maybe I saw the first 3 in the theater. It became a running joke. Awww man, this one is 12 minutes longer than the first one. Booooooo.
Hey there’s Katie, and she’s this baby’s aunt. Baby is Hunter, parents are Daniel & Kristi, and their daughter Ali, and they have a dog. The family is outside, somebody asked Katie where Micah was and she gave some bullshit awkward answer. So the family thinks their house is getting broken into, and I’ll let you in on a little secret, it’s really some invisible evil boring ass entity.The dog is my favorite character in this whole thing.
They just showed us night 1. I wasn’t paying attention. I just found out that Katie was on a few episodes of The River. That show was pretty damn good. I regret not having it on DVD. Just saw some adequate cleavage. You have to take what you can with this nonsense. I wanna nap.Oh, this takes place before Micah’s death, and there’s Micah.
Why isn’t there caffeinated orange juice? That’s what I want. The male in this is pretty much a douche in the exact opposite way that Micah was. He fired the latina maid, who was my 3rd favorite character. My 2 favorite are the dog and Ali the daughter. You’d be shocked, yes shocked that nothing has happened why. Ali’s boyfriend is over as she is babysitting and he made the Ouija Board spell out PUSSY. Oh Brad, you so crazy.
Raylene: “What’s supposed to happen here?”
Me: “I get more bored than I currently am.”
I’m now talking myself into believing that the evil entity is Abalom from The Last Exorcism. Yup, that works.
SPOILERS
It’s over, stuff happened. Katie killed the parents at the end. Ali lived. The baby was kidnapped. I don’t know if the dog lived.
END SPOILERS
It was garbage. Better than part 1. I still can’t give an honest score. Clearly I do not recommend this. Maybe to some kid, think under 10, I may have enjoyed this as I wouldn’t have known better. I would have latched onto it if I was like 6 or 7 I think. As a teen or older, I would have known it was shit. So show this to your kids….maybe. This is right at the end of the movie. Yup, I just don’t care. 2 more to go.
Breasts Totals
34 Bare breasts
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Paramount Pictures (presents)
- Blumhouse Productions (as Blumhouse)
- Solana Films
- Room 101 (as Room 101, Inc.)
Please go find a copy and support the creators.