Finally….we’ve reached the end of this awful franchise. I can’t wait to be done. We see events from the end of part 2 in the beginning with Katie and Hunter.
Now we are in Nevada, no longer in Carlsbad, CA. So we have a new family. A mom (Holly), dad (Doug), teenage blond (Alex), and young boy (Wyatt). They have new neighbors, a single mom and her son (Robbie). You would never guess who they are. So Alex and her boyfriend (Ben) are gonna hang out at night in her treehouse, and sure enough there’s Robbie. Then the next knife, there’s cops or something at the mom’s house, so the family randomly takes in Robbie because….I just don’t even know how this would ever happen. Robbie is just a creepy kid with an imaginary friend. You can tell where this is going. Oh, they just danced to Rob Zombie’s “Dragula”. I also enjoy that Ben records Alex when they webcam. That is a totally creepy thing that I have never ever done in my life. Ever. It’s an invasion of privacy damnit! Ben, you were wrong to do that, I am very disappointed with you.
I’m gonna get my camera back and start recording all the time, then record while I edit together my life story, and see all the spooky things that happen. OK, let’s face it, I plan on recording all the asinine things that somebody in this house says so I have video proof They will love that. By the way, Ben is clearly my favorite character of this franchise.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a 5 Paranormal Activity. I want to say I am very sorry for this revelation. I am as depressed as anybody about this. I am not at all looking forward to what I must do. When all is said and done, I am guessing I will have spent approximately 8 boob less hours thanks to this awful franchise. I promise I will make up for this. I think I may have to watch Slumber Party Massacre 1, 2, and 3, and Sorority House Massacre 1 & 2, and maybe a few other to help get our breast numbers higher. I do this for charity.
Watching this, nothing scary happening, I am peacefully typing. Watching with Raylene and Robbie is riding a tricycle in the kitchen. Raylene screams “Danny Boy!” in an hommage to The Shining apparently. The volume level seriously went from a normal conversational 5, to a 25. It startled me. I then scolded her. Louder than Russ during a Brock Lesnar match.
Now less than 20 minutes ago, Raylene made fun of the girl constantly checking out random noises in the house. I made fun of her then as she always hears things and is looking out the window like a jackass. Well she just heard a sound. Don’t know what it was, don’t really care. My guess is the neighbors, or my mom, or a demon. I honestly don’t care what it was, but sure enough Raylene got up and looked and I then ridicule her. She just got done making fun of the girl in the movie for doing the exact same damn thing. I am living my own personal horror movie. C’mon demon, kill her, possess me, make something happen. Raylene claimed it was the dog in the kitchen. Yes, the same dog that we had to put down 2 months ago. Really?
I just said that To Cruise won’t come out of the closet. These movies are beyond dumb. I regret going through so many classics last year. Speculating that I may do this again next year, I am holding out on some franchises. I only did 2 of the big 3 last year. I am not sure if I am saving that for next year or not. I have until February before I have to watch that particular franchise again. Get my hockey mask on. Haha, Alex almost got hit by a car and she says “Fuckin Prius”. Oh, there’s creepy shit that happens in Robbie’s old place. It’s spoooooooky. Not really. And Katie is home now, oh and there’s a weird lock on a closet.
So a knife almost dropped down on the dad’s head so he is freaking out, the wife comes down, won’t let him get a word in at all and kept telling him to come to bed. So yeah, I wanted some domestic violence to occur, and I wanted him to make sure that she had AllHandsOnDick, one of my favorite screen names oh all time, right up there with ChunkyLover92.
Wyatt is talking to Toby at night, but here’s the dumb thing, Toby is behind him, so why the fuck not have Robbie turn around and talk to the invisible entity face to face? And why the fuck are they video recording Wyatt in a bathtub? Nobody else is bothered by this? Nobody? Fine, I’ll just be all outraged by myself. There’s no parent s in there, just Wyatt. I ask again, why is this being recorded?
This movie is full of the same shit. Somebody gets dragged up or down stairs, they get dragged off the bed or above the bed, things get pulled really fast, doors open and close. I just resorted to saying “Is she petting her pussy” while she is on her webcam petting the cat. Yup, I’m bored and childish and immature. This is the movie that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. The Bills won today. That was cool. By the way, Wyatt is adopted and now thinks he is Hunter and Katie is in the house telling Wyatt/Hunter that his aunt Katie is there.
Alex got locked in the garage and the car magically turned on. She was choking on the fumes. She took a golf club and broke a window on the car. Raylene honestly asked why would she do that? I said, “To put the car in reverse and break down the garage door.” Then she did that. I told her what I have numerous times before, in a real life scenario, you are going to die. If there is ever an epidemic, or apocalypse situation, Raylene only lives as long as I allow it and can guide her. And if I die, well she’s dead within 92 minutes.
Less than 5 minutes to go!!! More bodies getting flung and dragged. Screw this, just call the movie “One hour of doors closing followed by a few bodies being flung and dragged by a ghost followed by an unsatisfying ending”!
You’ll never believe this, but the ending was completely unsatisfying. I’m just as shocked as you are. Here’s a picture of the ending. Yeah, it made little to no sense. Nobody gives a fuck. Why must these movies be so dumb? I’m holding off til tomorrow to watch part 5 to mess with Raylene more. These seem to scare her, so I figure why not make life miserable two nights in a row?
Breasts Totals
34 Bare breasts
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Paramount Pictures (presents)
- Blumhouse Productions (as Blumhouse)
- Solana Films
- Room 101 (as Room 101, Inc.)
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