Finally, the end of the road of this awful journey, until next March. This time it’s an all Latin cast apparent, in Cali somewhere. I don’t care. I just want this done and over with.
I am over a fifth through, we have seen 2 named women, but only pair of breasts, one vulva, one fat ass. Where’s Scott Steiner when you need him? Nothing has happened, at all. This somehow got a higher rating than part 4. One of the main characters was eating Lucky Charms. That counts for something. Oh and they was playing cards, and I see Eleanor, the Jack of diamonds.
A third the way through, and absolutely nothing of any significance has happened. This has been a complete and utter waste of time. Well apparently Jesse, one of our 2 main protagonists has super strength as if he has been “marked” by Toby. This movie is dumb as hell.
At the halfway point, just saying things outloud to entertain myself. This one is bad on a different level. An hour, still no changes. I hate this movie. Oh, they brought Ali back from part 2. She conveniently explained some nonsense about male babies and when they turn 18 and something something dark side. I dunno. I should honestly have stopped watching. I am almost bored to tears. I’m just bitter at this point. I never thought I’d look so forward to Leprechaun in Space, or Children of the Corn 8, or Hellraiser Bloodline, because that takes place in outer space, or Jason X, cause that takes place in Outer Space, or Alien because it is awesome.
Haha, I just said outloud :I’ve even run out of ways to insult this movie. I wish Brock Lesnar would just come on the screen and start raging and then Mark Ruffalo would join him, and they would destroy every person ever involved in these cinematic abominations. Well, this movie has gone even worse. The sister and friend joined up with some gangsters to find Jesse. they whip out guns and they take on the witches. I wish I was making this up. I truly wish I was, but I’m not. Well sister is dead. Both gringos we are assuming are dead, but we can’t confirm the one with the shotgun yet. They are back at the house in part 3, where it all began. Hey, a level of continuity. What a tweest. I am sick of all the jump scares that have perpetuated the last 5-10 minutes of this. Jump scares….how lame. I mean, so you have first person camera work, and then he is in a house, wandering around confused, and then you have things jumping out at him. That is a hack job.
What a clusterfuck that ending was. It kinda made sense, but I don’t think it was accurate to what we was led to believe happened. I don’t even wanna bother. I’m done, I’m fucking done. I’m giving this a 2.5, avoid at all costs. Just avoid it. Even if intrigued, just no. I’m finding a picture, then I’m wiping my hands of this.
Breasts Total Updated!!!
37 Bare breasts
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Paramount Pictures (presents)
- Blumhouse Productions (as Blumhouse)
- Solana Films
- Room 101 (as Room 101, Inc.)
Please go find a copy and support the creators.