I found the original Prom Night from 1980 to be mediocre, but did help push some angles that other films have taken and made their own, so it had some historic significance. Then along comes this film, which is and isn’t a reboot of the franchise. I have no idea. I think it sorta is. Anyway, it does have some recognizable names including: Brittany Snow, Idris Elba, Kellan Lutz, James Ransone, and Ming-Na Wen (Chun Li in Street Fighter!). OK, the biggest name is Idris, but the others are names you may know, like James was in Sinister 1 and 2, or Kellan from the AWFUL Twilight franchise. Brittany Snow should be doing porn, but instead has done Pitch Perfect films. Yeah, exactly. OK, so I am going to give a brief spoiler laden synopsis and then follow that up with my final thoughts and a rating.
SPOILERS
Donna (Brittany) finds her brother and father dead and then hides under a bed and has to see her mom killed by her former teacher, Richard Fenton, so she ends up living with her aunt and uncle. So far, this isn’t nearly as cool of an opening as the original with the kids accidentally killing Robin. Sadly, this is the best part of the whole film. This leads to prom night, and 3 couples get a suite at the hotel where this super prom is taking place. This prom is so over the fucking top, rich kid’s school shit. They have some of the absolutely most cringe worthy dialogue in film history. Go ahead, watch this and drink every time you cringe. You will get drunk. The obsession over who’s going to be prom queen was especially nauseating and the whole thought of how important it is, and how it will be a lifetime highlight, and how everybody will remember who the queen was. Fucking hell, I wanna kill these kids before Richard does. Oh yeah, Richard has escaped prison. So the cops are keeping tabs on the prom, mainly Idris and James come into play.
One of the couples is afraid of going to college 100 miles away from each other because love from a high school relationship is forever. Fucking naive fucking morons. If you believed this shit when you were in high school, open hand slap yourself in the face, and you know damn well that some people reading this were that gullible, whether they choose to admit it or not. I couldn’t get any chicks in high school, so I can openly admit to never being this fucking stupid. The cleaning lady and a bellhop guy get got by Richard, and then some of the friends. Oh, this is rated PG-13 so the murders are such bullshit that you can’t even enjoy their deaths. I want some drawn out sadistic kills based on dialogue alone. I do love the one girl, Chrissy, whose whole life for awhile revolved around being a bitch and trying to be prom queen. She is who she is and isn’t ashamed of it. We need more people like her in movies. She does not get killed.
So the whiny white couple get got, and the black chick does, but not her boy toy. Black chick was really pretty in this and had a nice dress. Some of these prom dresses are fucking laughable. Yup, critiquing young women and shaming them. That’s what I do. So they pull the alarm, evactuate the hotel, but Richard has escaped. Donna and Bobby are at her aunt and uncle’s place, which is under supervision, but Richard is a fucking skilled ninja who has killed off trained police officer who are on lookout duty. This guy has no fucking special powers or training, but is taking people out like it’s nothing. Bobby is now dead in bed with Donna and Idris is hauling ass back. The final showdown is painful to say the least. Like, she doesn’t scream to get Idris’ attention and that fucking drove me nuts. Everybody cries at the end, including those who paid to see this.
End Film
Final Thoughts – Holy hell, who got this film greenlit? How did they attract so many talented people? How did this film make over double it’s cost? How the fuck is that possible? This is pure trash horror made for teenie boppers who would also call bullshit at how tame this is. 7 year old Kent would make fun of this trash. Also, no tits, what the fuck? This is why horror should always be mandated to be R unless it’s something like Monster Squad. I was so irritated during this, and halfway through, I realized that I had sadly seen this before. Fuck.
Rating: 2.5 Mainly for Idris and the attractive young women. Yeah,that’s what I have to offer you. Read a book or something rather than watching this shit.
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