I saw this in the theater, the only Saw I saw in the theater, and it was in 3D. This didn’t help things at all sadly. Whatever grudges you may have had with the franchise, this one was gonna make them stick out even worse. Now I want to say, I liked this movie. From a storyline stand point, this may have been the strongest since part 3. It’s funny that Friday the 13th part 3 was in 3D and part 4 was called The Final Chapter. Was this an homage or just coincidence?
OK, let’s tackle the kills and violence first. The first thing involves a bitch hanging over a table saw and 2 dudes, one attached on each side. The theory is for one guy to push a saw into the other one’s chest and that saves them and the girl. As they do this, they realize the girl is a lying piece of shit cunt. Let’s face it, most are. So the guys do what any 2 reasonable men would do, they stop hurting each other and let the stupid skank die. Probably my favorite opening of all the movies. That was a bitches ain’t shit opening. BRAVO!
There’s a dream sequence where Hoffman kills Jill, she is scurred and knows he is coming for her. Next is the scene that really sticks out like a sore thumb to me. So you have 3 dudes and a chick. They are skindheads. The main dude is in driver seat of a car, and his back is superglued to the seat. There is the bitch underneath the jacked up car, her face below the spinning tire. A dude in the back with a chain attached to the car and his jaw. And finally a dude straight ahead attached to a garage door or some shit. The dude has to pull himself form the seat, pealing off his skin to stop the car from falling on her face, speeding off ripping off the dude’s jaw, and running into the dude. Just a pointless scene I feel. Everybody died, nobody gives a fuck.
There’s a flashback scene of a black lady and a white dude hanging from these bars while over top what appears to be a bunch of overturned lawnmowers and garden gnomes are around. She slaps him, he falls. She is at a Jigsaw survivor group bullshit. This was as dumb as it sounds.
At this point, the main guy being tested is a guy who has gotten famous for having survived a jigsaw trap, except he lied about it. Now to me, thats a good idea. Story is good here, add to that the cat and mouse game played by Jill and Hoffman, it’s good. So anyway, the main guy is in a cage, the floor gives out and like 8-10 feet below him and these spikes of sort except they don’t look at all menacing, and he goes through a lot to avoid them. Granted, you wouldn’t want to land on them improperly, but they are somewhat spread out and look weak to be honest.
In the next room, he comes to his publicist in a seat with 4 spikes aimed at her throat. She has a key attached to a fishhook in her stomach. He has a minute to pull it out. Everytime the sound rises above a whisper, the spikes move closer. I truly loved this one. Then the bitch started crying BEFORE any pain. This seals her fate. As you can imagine, she fails, she dies. I smile.The next room, a bitch is on a table inching slowly towards her mouth and eyes being impaled by spikes. Bobby has to lift this contraption to cut off the circuit, but when he lifts it, spikes poke into his side. Obviously, he fails. Then there’s a dumb one with his buddy blindfolded, attached to a noose and it is dumb. He gets lynched. Then Bobby has to do some dental work, it’s dumb.The last trap is the one Bobby claimed to survive which was some bullshit about hooks through his pectoral muscles and him using chains to pull himself up and he failed, his wife burned up. Yay.
Hoffman finally goes on a killing spree. Tracks down Jill, puts her in the chair, puts the reverse bear trap on her. Game over. Or is it? Hoffman burns down his warehouse, he’s making his escape, then 2 guys in robes and masks jump him. A third comes out. It is Dr Gordon from part 1. He’s been working with Jigsaw all along, how else could all of those surgery things have worked? Duhhh. Anyway, Dr Gordon promised John that he would avenge Jill if anything were to happen to her, and in exchange, John would reveal all of his secrets, including the location of the room from the original Saw where Dr Gordon saw’d off his foot. Well Hoffman is chained up next to Adam’s corpse. He dives for the saw, but Gordon throws it far far away. He walks away, says Game Over, and Hoffman is fucked.
End of franchise…..for now. Probably ever, but you never know. I guess Dr. Gordon could do some crazy stuff, but everybody else is dead.
All in all, I actually really liked the story, but the traps were mostly dumb as hell. Giving it a 6.0.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Twisted Pictures (presents)
- A Bigger Boat
- Serendipity Productions
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