How many people actually saw Sleepwalkers in the theater? Sleepwalkers was released on April 10, 1992. I am almost positive that I saw this with my mom on April 18 or 19. I remember it being Easter weekend. I feel bad that I dragged my mom to see Sleepwalkers. The trailer was adequate. Stephen King’s name was uttered and by then, I had seen so many of his films like The Shining, Christine, Firestarter, Silver Bullet, Cat’s Eye, Creepshow, Creepshow 2, IT, Pet Sematary, Cujo, Carrie, Children of the Corn and maybe other films. As an 11-year-old kid, this made sense. This was going to be good, right? Misery had just become such a HUGE success 2 years prior.
I can say this. I haven’t seen this movie since that day. I don’t remember shit about it. I remember trying to coerce my mind into thinking that it wasn’t too bad, but it is was entirely forgettable. Now, almost 30 years later, I’m heading back to see Sleepwalkers. This time, I know what a virgin is. It’s incredible what you learn at the age of 40.
Looking at the cast, I see Ron Perlman as Captain Soames. The thing with Perlman is that as great as he is, he doesn’t always choose the best projects. Alice Krige is Mary Brady, Charles’ mother, and you may know her best from Silent Hill as Christabella. Dan Martin is Andy Simpsons, and you’ve most likely seen Dan in something. He has a diverse portfolio. Mick Garris’ wife, Cynthia, is in this as Laurie and she was Susan Stern in The Stand 1994. And if you look a little deeper, you suddenly see Stephen King, Joe Dante, John Landis, Clive Barker, and Tobe Hooper and you’re left wondering where David Cronenberg and George Romero were at this time.
I have given you plenty of info. Time to watch Sleepwalkers and hopefully not fall asleep.
Start Film
I’m sad. I cut up apples and cheese, but these apples are a little softer than I prefer. They taste fine, but I like more of a crisp apple.
I may as well type out what the opening screen tells us so I don’t have to repeat it later. It’s the definition of a Sleepwalker. “Nomadic shape-shifting creatures with human and feline origins. Vulnerable to the deadly scratch of the cat, the sleepwalker feeds upon the life-force of virginal human females. Probably sound of the vampire legend.” Yeah, buckle up, buckeroos.
At the residence of Charles and Mary Brady, there are a ton of dead cats hanging outside and a little dead girl in the house with a rose in her hair.
Naturally, they have Sleep Walk playing on the record player as we watch this dude carve a T in his arm for Tanya. Charles and Mary are dancing very closely in a weird way. Okay, they are definitely kissing. He is carrying her upstairs as they make out. What the hell was my mom thinking as she watched this with me???
Watching Tanya jam out and dance to “Do You Love Me” by the Contours is fantastic in that Stephen King way. She is very pretty. Why is this officer holding a cat in a bag? That seems kinda fucked. Of course, the Brady’s are trying to trap cats.
Mr. Fallows is a teacher and damn, he laid the smackdown on Crawford’s hand with a ruler. Why are teachers allowed to put their hands on students? Jeanette and Carrie are Tanya’s friends and they are exactly what you expect. Horny giggling school girls. Ohhh, Tanya invites Charles upstairs. She is very worried about his seeing her underwear laying around.
Charles makes a great impression on Tanya’s mom. Mr. Fallows gets Charles to pull over while driving. Fallows knows that Charles is lying about where he’s from and who he is. Okay, Charles just ripped off Fallows’ hand and now Charles has fangs and is on the chase. Fallows runs into a tree and Charles has a feast.
Hahaha, there’s Dan Martin, he’s an officer and playing with his cat, Clovis. He just saw Charles speed on past. Charles just laughs it off. Hahaha, so Charles does a U-Turn. This rock music is a fucking treat. Haha, Charles tried to run over some kids crossing the road. Andy pulls up beside Charles, Charles sees Clovis and morphs into like a rotation of 5 entities like he’s Shang Tsung or Altered Beast. Charles pulls off into a driveway and can make himself and the car disappear. Andy can’t see it, but the cat can.
Andy talks to Horace and Ira at the police station, Andy describes Charles’ face as a blur, like he couldn’t make anything out. Andy noticed that Charles was scared of Clovis. How many cops bring cats on patrol? Is that a thing?
Charles reports back to Mary. He still hasn’t gotten it and she’s starving. She smacks him around. Charles, you gotta get that virgin flesh for your momma. They have a lot of traps outside. Charles and his mom just fucked and in the mirror, they are some weird entity, are they the sleepwalkers? Charles is starting to fall for Tanya.
Tanya comes to Charles’ house and Mary wants to meet Tanya. Charles sees his mom’s weird reflection. Why do you even own mirrors? Mary puts the rose in Tanya’s hair. I’m only halfway through, but this feels like a mediocre episode of Tales From the Crypt. Charles can change the model and color of his car. One thing that you would think that would be in here is nudity given the subject matter. There is no nudity in this one. Between Mary and Tanya, they had options. Madchen Amick, who plays the role of Tanya is beautiful would have been my choice.
They go to have a picnic in the graveyard. They make out and he tried to suck out her purple essence. She gets hit a few times, she bashes him in the head with her camera. He wants to make her lunch, his lunch. He goes to bite her and she takes a corkscrew to his eye. Andy sees the blue car and is stoked. Andy is trying to talk to Tanya, but she insists that they leave. Charles stabs a pencil in Andy’s ear. Back to the attack. Andy shoots Charles, to no avail and then he shoots Andy. Clovis is fucking up Charles. Charles takes off thanks to the mighty Clovis.
I wonder if Tanya will have a second date with Charles. I’m sad that Andy dies, he was by far the best character. They are trying to make Charles evil and have jokes. He’s not Fredy Krueger and the jokes fall flat.
Mary tries to clean Charles’ wounds. There’s Stephen King talking to Tobe, I think. Now King is bothering Clive. Tanya tries to explain to the Sheriff how the car was different. Horace amuses me in a weird way.
Charles thinks that he is dying. Mary hears the police sirens and makes the car invisible, or dim as she calls it. She is gonna make them both dim. She’s a pretty good actress. Ron Perlman breaks in!!! Young Perlman is a delight. Soames and Ira can’t find anything. Soames wants to spank Tanya. I do too.
Tanya is in the bathtub. Trust me, nothing to see here. She thinks that she sees Charles and freaks out briefly.
Two officers wait outside the Brady residence and see the door close. They can hear footsteps. Mary knocks them out by bashing their heads together. Mary shows up at Tanya’s home, and her dad answers the door. She has flowers. She smashes the vase in his face. Mary just tossed the mom out the window. Horace is really a bad shot with his gun.
There’s Cynthia Garris, I thought that was her earlier. And I think that was Joe Dante. They’re looking over the pictures that Tanya took of Charles, and his face is all blurred. Horace calls the police and gets stabbed in the back with an ear of corn. The cats are on the prowl.
Okay, so Soames arrives at the house and sees Mary dragging an unconscious Tany across the front yard. She just bit off 3 of Soames’ fingers and broke his arm. Ira wants backup from Castle Rock. Of course, he does. When Mary fires a gun, she causes cop cars to explode. Good for her.
Mary’s house is surrounded by cats so she drives the car through the house to enter and avoid the cats. Charles is looking rough. I love how often Mary slaps people. Mary insists that Tanya dances with Charles. Monster Charles and Tanya dance. This is just….it’s something.
Ira shows up and sees Clovis. Clovis breaks in through an attic window. Charles is trying to get that purple essence and suck Tanya dry. Shouldn’t any be the one sucking him dry??? Too soon? Clovis attacks Mary. Here come the rest of the cats and Ira. The shotgun blast didn’t kill Mary. Mary comes out and tosses Ira and he gets his hand in a trap. He then tosses a trap onto Mary. Mary impales Ira on the fence. Clovis attacks again. Oh, it’s like a 30 on 1 assault. It’s like watching a pretty white girl enter O’Connor’s on a Friday night. That’s not a joke, that’s a fact. Mary somehow is on fire, I don’t truly know why. Tanya is also a shitty driver. Clovis hops in the car with Tanya. All the other cats go home.
End Film
As an adult, that movie made slightly more sense…I think. I’m really not sure. God Bless Mick Garris for his willingness to try to take any wacky idea and run with it.
I don’t like how Charles and Mary morphed. I get that they were stuck between practical effects and the limitations of the time. And Mick went for it. I think it looked bad to me as a child. Some ’90s films just have that look and try out new things, but it is just not quite there yet.
The story was okay. I feel that you can tell that everybody involved was having a good time. Everyone leaned into the cheesiness at times and it added much-needed levity. This could never have been made 100% serious. I thought everybody played their parts just fine. Charles, Mary, and Tanya carried Sleepwalkers just fine.
Final Rating – 5.2 – I would rewatch Sleepwalkers because it is goofy and as I mentioned earlier, it does feel like a mediocre Tales From The Crypt episode, and I’m fine with that. This film certainly wasn’t trying to be Misery or The Shining. It stayed in its lane and had fun. Dan Martin looked like he may have had more fun than anybody else. This may be too high for people, and I respect that.
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