Well, there will be tits in this. There will be some 80’s slasher deaths. There will be awful acting. The dialogue will be terrible. This was released in 1982. I am pumped.
5 minutes in, we have already seen a guy make a terrible play at an older chick that turned him down, and she promptly gets pulled into her van and murdered. We then have a high school girl’s basketball team practicing and I know women can’t play basketball, but these girls may never have dribbled a day in their life. the best part was the token black girl too a shot that ended up hitting to the left of the rim by about a foot and a half, and where it touched the backboard, it was below the rim. level. We’re talking a black chick.
Oh, and just to make this better, the girls had to shower afterwards. 5 pairs of tits. Gentlemen, we are in business. And now the killer, who somehow can set up elaborate things in quick amounts of time already after his second victim. This movie does not fuck around. After about 3 minutes of hunting her down, he got her! Good for him.
We have like 4 girls at the slumber party. Original girl showed her tits again, new pair of tits, we’re up to 6. My favorite guy, the neighbor just got it. One girl is looking at a Playgirl with Sylvester Stallone on the cover. This movie is fantastic.
Supposedly no more nudity the rest of the way. I’m pleased. Let the violence run rampant. We just learned that the slut checking out Stallone got a guy off in 5th grade. That’s something. By the way, the murderer uses a sweet hand crank drill, I’m sure there’s a more natural name for it, but I don’t know the precise term.
IMDB lied, the girl who I wanted to see most, red and white stripes, we got some boobage! This is a moral victory for each and every one of you reading this. Which means all 2 of you. The killer is using a power drill, my bad. I could’ve sworn he used a hand cranked one as well. Awwww, and now my girl is dead. Damnit!
I had to crank my 7.1 surround sound to drown out the obnoxious neighbors. Nothing shuts up some fucking idiots like lots of shrill high pitch screams from an 80’s horror movie. Stupid fucking assholes.
A guy decided it would be a great idea to split up the group. This is always, and I mean ALWAYS a great idea. And with that, 30 seconds later, somebody got got. Is there anything better than 80’s horror? I doubt it.
I meant to tackle this earlier. The girls went to order pizza 20-30 minutes ago. One 80s tradition is having somebody always say something like “No anchovies”. That line lived on for far too damn long. Even worse, they order mushrooms and olives. Fucking gross. Have some tact is your pizza ordering. Such bad taste. God, that angers up the blood.
And token girl finally got killed. they fucked around way too long letting token live. I want to make a horror movie where only white people die, and the black characters live, only to have the ending be that it was all a white person’s nightmare. I think more black people should survive, and less women.
A girl just found a big ass machete. I couldn’t be happier. She comes charging out of a room towards the killer, but this is the best part. She stops ever so briefly to shut the door behind her. Yup, you definitely want to have a moment of hesitation when charging at a murder while you have a fucking machete. And suddenly, the film just ends so abruptly. I need closure damnit!!!
Let’s wrap this up. Should you watch this? Yes, don’t even hesitate. This is 80’s slasher glory. This had so much to offer in a short amount of time, and they don’t waste your time. That is very important to me. I am giving this a 6.8 because it’s not a great movie, but it brings me so much joy, and that has to count for something. I bet you’ll love it too. Give it a shot! Also, there’s no, hey guess who the killer is. He’s revealed very early on, so I feel ok posting this picture.
Breasts Total updated with an additional 7. Holy sugar tits Batman!
46 Bare breasts
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