This looks like the group will be put on trial. That sounds dumb as hell. Maybe it will be funny or better than expected. I also hope to see Kojak help out Stu. That was one of my favorite aspects of the book that the 94 version didn’t show enough of. And of course, this will most likely have a big ending. I hope it looks better than the original.
Start Episode 8 The Stand
We already know that Flagg’s gonna destroy those who stand against him. So we already know what to expect. That doesn’t make the journey to that moment any less exciting. What makes me less excited is how bad the endings to Stephen King movies are.
They have Glen, Larry, and Ray in s cell in the middle of a big room and they have orange jumpsuits. Glen suggests it’s a good thing for them that there are all those crucified bodies because it shows Flagg’s weakness. “I hope Stu knows what he’s missing.” says Glen.
Stu is very cold and in pain. He gets out the bottle of pills. Kojak is staring at Stu and guilts him into not killing himself.
Okay, Rat Woman is the judge and Lloyd is the bailiff. Lloyd even has a white powdered wig on. He’s absurd. Lloyd says that these 3 have an opportunity to survive if they swear loyalty to Flagg and that gets some cheers. Lloyd says that they don’t owe anything to Mother Abigail (MA). She pretty much sent them to Vegas to die. That is a great point. I can’t handle how awful Lloyd is here. They are trying to do awkward comedy. It isn’t working. Rat Woman is looking good in her attire here. Glen refers to Randall as many things, including the mother of Dragons. I mean, that’s a funny line, so I have to acknowledge it.
Why does Flagg have such a shitty camera perspective of the court proceedings?
Glen asks Lloyd what everybody is so afraid of. Glen’s point is that if Flagg has all of these powers, why is any of this necessary. Rat Woman is displeased. Glen wonders why Randall won’t face them himself. He calls Flagg a son of a bitch and gets slapped to the ground by Lloyd. Glen tells Rat Woman to go fuck herself so she orders Lloyd to shoot Glen. Glen says that Lloyd won’t shoot him. Rat Woman tells him to stop embarrassing the court. Lloyd says that if Glen doesn’t stop talking, he will get shot. Glen tells Lloyd to tell everyone that without fear, Flagg is nothing. And Glen gets shot. Glen tells Lloyd that it’s okay because he doesn’t know any better and Lloyd puts like 8 bullets in Glen. They take the court off the TV airwaves. You could see at least one juror is upset. Lloyd doesn’t look right either. He orders that Larry and Ray get taken out. The crowd is in stunned silence.
Ray and Larry are handcuffed in a kitchen. Ray admits to being a baby about pain. This wasn’t the right journey for her. Now she needs Larry to comfort her. Uh-huh. Ralph wouldn’t have asked that. Nadine enters the room along with big hoss, named Wes. Wes takes Ray away so Nadine can talk to Larry alone. Nadine’s face looks so rough, dark and just not right. He tells her that the bomb didn’t kill everyone. He asks her about why she kept Larry and the kids away from the explosion. Nadine is in denial until Larry makes her look at her reflection. She doesn’t comprehend, but then she has labor pains.
Lloyd rushes her in a wheelchair up to the penthouse. Rat Woman is the nurse, and her lipstick design is nice. That belly is moving so weirdly. Nadine knows this isn’t right. Nadine says that she was never meant to survive birthing this thing. Randall tells her that it will be their prince. She says Larry was right. She rips off the necklace and falls out the window all the way down and goes splat inside the empty pool. Okay, that looks good at least. Flagg is devastated. Lloyd and Rat Woman have no idea what to do. Randall tells Lloyd to cancel the nursery. Aww.
Kojak wakes up to see the white wolf. Oh, they have at it, but they can’t show it. Stu can’t move. One just died. Kojak wins!!! That is probably the happiest moment of this episode.
Lloyd asks Rat Woman if Flagg is still in the room with the remnants of Nadine’s corpse. He asks her what they should do next. She says that she’s shocked that Lloyd is even showing his face after shooting Glen. She says that she was just acting but Lloyd didn’t know any better. I think they all know that Lloyd is kind of a dumbass in this version. Lloyd keeps seeing Glen’s face and now he’s crying. She told him that he should be worried about the last guy that shot somebody when he wasn’t supposed to, Mr. Bobby Terry. Flagg comes out. Lloyd is just talking like an idiot and making things worse. Lloyd then tries blaming Glen’s death on Rat Woman. Flagg asks if the stage is ready, and it is. He just has one thing that he wants Lloyd to do first. “Waste not, want not.”
Rat Woman exits the elevator dressed a bellhop and has a cart with a flower and food tray and one of those big ass metal covers. How many outfits does she have? She seems more natural in this episode. She serves Nadine’s head to Larry. Nice makeup job.
Lloyd and Wes come to get Larry. Larry tells them that this place is falling apart and Nadine’s death shows that very clearly. Larry and Ray are brought out with hoods on their heads. There is a crowd chanting “Make them pay.” Rat Woman is leading them on. They get brought to the empty pool, placed on their knees, and handcuffed to the floor. And here’s Julie.
She’s hosting the event and introduces Lloyd. I’m surprised that he keeps wearing the red outfit. Julie asks Lloyd how the prisoners feel. This is just silly and over the top. Lloyd introduces Randall. He’s got his mojo back. But Lloyd looks upset and walks away. The one guy in court that looked upset is there and still looks concerned. I’m curious what his role will be. Probably just to chirp up, get killed and cause more chaos among the followers. Flagg finally comes out.
Rat Woman is like this TV broadcast producer and in charge of the cameras. Julie is so good as a psycho bitch. Randall gives a long-winded speech that you can imagine in your head. He lacks charisma. Time to start this up. Lloyd turns on the water and we hear a song called “Heaven” by U 96. I don’t know them. This isn’t the right song for this. This is so fucking bad. Flagg is dancing and so is the crowd.
Flagg says that after they drown the rats, they will burn the witch and they show the airstrip. Larry realizes that Flagg has no idea that MA is even dead. The conflicted guy is the head custodian, and they keep showing him. Lloyd gets in the pool and tells Larry that he always liked his music. Lloyd asks if they have any last words. Larry keeps saying that he will fear no evil. Larry gets hit with Lloyd’s baton weapon. TCM is approaching with the nuke, as is tradition. Larry gets hit again. Larry keeps saying it and now people in the crowd are following his lead with saying I will fear no evil. Flagg orders Lloyd to shoot the woman who said it. Lloyd says no. The custodian will fear no evil as he gets beaten by an angry mob.
TCM is now in the crowd and being awful. Lloyd wants the keys so he can unlock Larry and Ray. Flagg is laughing and trying to save face. TCM has so much radiation poisoning, he looks melted. Flagg tells him that he shouldn’t be here. Oh boy, now it is thundering out and the clouds are rolling in. This is so cheesy. The cloud and storm is coming in through an opening in the roof. I don’t know how else to better describe this awfulness.
We see the hairs standing up on Flagg’s hands. The lightning starts striking people. Flagg tells people to not run. Oh, Julie is vaporized. Ray and Larry are fucked. How is the custodian up and walking? The crowd can’t exit, they push people through the glass and out. Rat Woman is vaporized. The water is up to Ray’s mouth. Lloyd’s head just became detached from his body.
This lightning sphere approaches Flagg. Ray and Larry are underwater now but never got struck by lightning which would have been a kinder, quicker death. Flagg just got hit by lightning 15-20 times. TCM is laying on the nuke as it gets struck by lightning. This wakes Stu up. Kojak goes running. Tom is walking through this mess but then he sees Kojak.
Fran talks to Joe about how she’s heard that he’s making progress with the guitar. Didn’t they already establish that he was quite good at it? Joe stops. He looks up and the sky looks like the design on the black stones. Fran wants Joe to go inside. Joe says the Dark Man is gone. Fran then gets in Joe’s face almost aggressively asking questions. She is asking if he can see Stu. Then she goes into labor. And then Sam and Dave’s “Hold On, I’m Comin” plays as we hit the credits.
End Episode 8 The Stand
Hell, Larry and Ray didn’t even get to stand, they had to kneel.
I have questions but I don’t know if Episode 9 will tell more of the original content or be all-new material. I want to know about Tom and Stu’s voyage back to Boulder. I guess I will discuss it or complain in the Episode 9 review.
This episode was trash. Why they updated it in such a silly, at times comical way is beyond me. It wasn’t funny. I feel like most people watching were kind of ashamed that they were watching and kept hoping it would end soon while cringing.
Julie, Rat Woman, Glen, and Nadine tried their best. I don’t know what the fuck they did with Flagg. I felt that Larry kinda went out with a whimper only because of how poor the scenes were written. He couldn’t overcome being surrounded by the garbage. And they never gave us a real reason to care about Ray. Seriously, how do you fuck that up? Oh, she’s afraid of pain. That was her character development. Why even have her there if you weren’t going to establish her better? Changing that character was a horrible decision all around.
TCM was trash. Simple as that. Why did Flagg just stand there and take it? Why was the custodian able to get up? He had like 15 people beating his ass.
This ending may have been worse than 94’s and this was definitely one of the easiest places that they could have improved. So why did they devolve so fucking far? Oh yeah, props to Kojak and Tom.
Final Rating – 0.1 – That is strictly for the performances and not the story. These actors were in no-win situations. Fact.
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