The Tommyknockers (1993)

This was a Mini-Series in 1993, and I don’t even remember its existence. I remember in my mid-teenage years, my English teacher, Mrs. B (I don’t dare attempt to spell out her last name) recommended this book to me. The problem is, this was a long book, so I may have finished a third of it. I wasn’t much of a reader at the time, just to be fair. Eventually, I saw that this existed. This film made me glad that I didn’t finish the book. But I want to look at it now with fresh eyes.

The cast is adequate. My man Jimmy Smits is the lead as Gard. Marg Helgenberger is Bobbi, and she’s done some cool things. The other big name here that I recognized was Traci Lords, but for all the right reasons back then, and she plays Nancy Voss. This is 3 hours long. God damn.

Start FIlm

I definitely remember some stuff in the book that I am sure that they either heavily edited or straight up excluded from this. Oh, the special effects are fantastic. I do enjoy the Tommyknocker song. Sheriff Ruth has one hell of a creepy doll collection. Joe Paulson is married to Deputy Becka Paulson, but Joe is having an affair with Nancy Voss (Traci Lords). I mean, visually, it makes most guys think, yeah, why wouldn’t he. She looked so amazing here.

Bobbi and her dog find some strange metal in the ground. She wants to dig it up, but the dog is just barking incessantly. Gard is an alcoholic, or at least a recovering one, who is also a poet. One of the officers (Butch Duggan, no relation to Hacksaw Jim Duggan) asks Ruth if she’s coming back to Derry anytime soon, which is the location of IT. Oh, one of the officers is named Jingles. Good name! There are two kids, Hilly (older) and Davey (younger), they’re brothers. I feel like Marg would be wearing something different for a nightshirt. Aso, her dog is going crazy during the storm….and now has green eyes. The dog’s name is Peter and he is pissed at the vet’s. All the animals are crazed. What the fuck place is this? There’s a giant owl, a cobra, a big ass lizard, a parakeet, and dogs. How many times have you been to the vet’s and seen that variety?

Bobbi starts digging. We have Hilly and Davey (I think) in the woods and they see the green glow. Bobbi has their mom (Marie) come to pick them up. Their stepdad (Bryant) is a douche to the kids and to Marie’s dad, Ev. Gard is getting tanked after a poetry reading and he is the best kind of drunk. He’s so good when he gets to be aggressive. Gard has a hell of a night and a dream that repeats. He gets a ride from a salesman named Jack and we find out that Gard has a metal plate in his head. Davey just had a nightmare about something in his closet. Ruth got her hair done, yet I don’t really see a marked improvement. She’s pretty and all, but just focusing on her hair game. She first with Butch at an ice cream shop outside and then just leave their trash on the table and leave.

You have to feel bad for Becka because she really seems super sweet and nice. But Nancy…….Damn. Becka made him sandwiches for him and his buddies for a fishing trip. The only fishing he’s doing is in Nancy’s pants. Hilly is doing tricks for his class, but it blows up in his teacher’s face. Gard has found his way back to Bobbi. Bobbi is excited to show Gard this miracle. Wow, she has made some progress on the digging. When they touch it, it glows green. And Gard keeps getting headaches. I can relate. Touching that thing in the ground fucked him up, bloody nose, knocked him out. She’s a bitch to him because he fell off the wagon. Falling off a wagon hurts!

Hilly threw away the magic kit that his grandfather bought him, not like Magic the Gathering, just to be clear. Ev encourages him not to give up. He’s like an old John Cena. Gard gets her to forgive him and they make out. Shame this wasn’t on HBO. At night, Hilly is talking to himself while staring out the window. Gard is getting his fuck on. Jesus Joe, you are drunk as hell too. Bobbi has mounted Gard. The ground glows green under Joe’s car. Nancy, you are definitely helping the situation and Bobbi’s eyes are glowing green too. Nancy’s are too. The water heater also has the glow. Well shit.

Bobbi is telling Gard that the thing outside is giving her info and that’s how she got the water heater to work. Nancy has built a machine to sort the mail. How is Jow pulling that kind of tail? He’s just a mailman. Bobbie and Gard are at some store and grabbed a machete. Becka really loves watching the Love Connection, and Joe flips out on Becka and he is just a dick. He laughs on his way out because he just said that to get out of the house. The TV is telling Becka that Joe is cheating on her. Okay, this is actually a cool scene. The lady contestants on the show tell her to kill Joe.

Gard wants Bobbi to tell the authorities about this thing that they’re digging up. She goes into conspiracy theory mode. Bobbi comes to the post office to get a package. Bobbi can hear Nancy and Joe’s thoughts. Hilly is a dick to Davey. Hilly is going to perform magic at his birthday party. He is making things disappear and reappear with help from glowing green technology. He is going to make a person disappear, like his brother. This is going to end well. Wait wait wait. Everybody claps when he disappears and then just goes inside. Like, they don’t wait for Davey to reappear. Oh yeah, he can’t bring Davey back. Presto predictable. Ruth comes to investigate and he blames his grandpa. Stupid kids. Time for a search party!

They’re searching the woods now and Peter is relentless toward Ruth. “He’s like a regular Cujo.” Nice. Ruth tells Becka to go home early because Joe left early with the flu. Haha. Oh, Joe, you’re gon get got, or maybe Nancy. Becka is home and sees lipstick on his collar. The TV show host is guiding Becka on how to craft something on the back of the TV. Joe returns home and is a dick about the TV show, and she tells him to turn it off himself. When he does, he gets some green shock. Nice.

Gard wakes up to a typewriter writing up something. All these fun machines are a true delight. It is typing a full novel. I love that Hilly is naming off G.I. Joe figures. He can hear Davey say that he is with the Tommyknockers. Hilly collapses. Granpa is gonna take Hilly to the hospital. Wait, so the kid collapses and the parents say that they will go and Grandpa is like, Nah, I got this. Really? Parents under that much duress from losing one child wouldn’t both stay. At least one would go to the hospital, right? Gard stayed up all night reading the novel. Gard still isn’t feeling the glow yet.

The town is having a big 4th of July celebration. More singing of the National Anthem. No protests? Is this The Stand? The entity is glowing and now we get some green fireworks and many people…okay everybody is drawn to it aside from Gard, who is having head pain. Becka is at a mental asylum, and she and Hilly are singing the Tommyknocker song.

That wraps up the first half. This isn’t that good. Maybe it will get better. Oh, who am I kidding? Stephen King usually starts strong and ends with a whimper. This isn’t going to end well. I’m hungry.

Isn’t this basically Needful Things and Storm of the Century, but without the really good villain? All 3 films have a bit of a similar formula, in my opinion.

This is funny. I just found this in an article here. It is Drew Grant ranking Stephen King miniseries. It’s a good read, although I don’t fully agree with the opinions, it’s still a good read. “Storm of the Century: Deals with specific King-like themes such as “small town isolated from the rest of the world,” “Maine paranoia,” and “shitty neighbors making deals with the devil.” (You know, like Needful Things, or Tommyknockers, without the aliens?) It was long, which is another King trope.” So I am clearly not the only person that saw it that way.

Do both parts start off very similarly? It feels like they do. I don’t really enjoy teeth horror when it comes to removing teeth. Ruth hearing people’s thoughts are fun, as Bryant calls her a stupid bitch and suggests that they won’t find Davey. Also, does King really like the name, Davey? Hilly has what appears to be a large brain tumor.

Gard goes back to the show, it’s like a junk shop or antique. I don’t know. The old lady has created a machine to better polish silver. At the post office, Nancy knows everyone’s order before they place it, except Gard’s. And the one kid no longer needs glasses. Nancy is confused why she can’t read his mind. Seriously, Traci Lords deserves more roles. She is a better actress than people give her credit for.

Butch visits Ruth in the doll room. I want the dolls to do something cool. Butch makes a play for Ruth. Her ex was his partner. She is receptive. Good for him. He is probably my third favorite character now that Becka is in a padded room. Gard and Nancy are my two favorites so far. The site is talking to Bobbi and Peter really isn’t pleased. Bobbi, are you gonna make love to this place….she just disappeared…..and reappeared. Okay, that was fun.

Gard is looking for Peter, and Bobbi informs him that the dog is dead. Bobbi already buried him supposedly. She digs faster than Kevin Bacon after drinking orange juice. She just collapsed. Must be a lack of orange juice. Gard calls for help, but she doesn’t want him to call anybody. I wish I had a grilled cheese. I would like either a grilled ham and cheese with swiss or grilled bacon and cheese with Velveeta. Bobbi starts to sleep and her typewriter goes crazy.

Ruth feels a little sick, but Butch felt good as soon as he got back to Derry. Time to scope out the woods a bit more. Bobbi is awake, very refreshed. Gard accuses her of being obsessed and she gets defensive. The old lady at the shop is named Mabel. Apparently, Bobbi can also read minds. She asks him to help her and she agrees to take it easy.

Ruth visits the excavation site and Bobbi is working maniacally. Ruth wants to get Bobbi some help. Bobbi says that they will hurt Ruth. Ruth parks and Nancy, the boy without glasses, Mabel, and someone else are waiting. Ruth goes to make a call and her dolls dom to life and attack her. They drop a statue bust on her head and tell her that she’s too late.

Butch rushes over to the police station. I think Jingles is with him. Ruth is gone, along with most of the dolls. Butch asks Brent and Marie and Marie freaks out that people are going missing.

The doctor at the hospital asks Grandpa about what type of food Hilly eats. Some of his teeth are missing. No surprise there. I’m seeing Nancy visit Joe’s grave and he died in 92. Damn fine year. Nancy has invented a lipstick device that shoots out a green beam and melts a monument. She is so proud. Her time of mourning is over and now she’s dressed like a 90’s skank. Good on her.

Butch doesn’t look so good. He wants to visit Bobbi. Bobbi denies any knowledge of Ruth’s disappearance. Bobbi told Butch that Gard wasn’t there, but he was right there. Gard wants to tell Butch about the thing. Bobbi freaks the fuck out. Jingles and Ben try to contact Butch and finally hear from him, but it is actually Mabel using a machine to modulate her voice. Jingles and Ben both look like shit and they find Ruth’s car in the woods. Nancy shows up looking all seductive. Ben doesn’t trust her. She wants to apply lipstick and vaporizes both of them.

Bryant tries to get Gard to have a drink. Gard gives in. Gard gets drunk. Butch visits Grandpa in the hospital. Grandpa asks Butch if he’s familiar with The Tommyknockers. The townsfolk are all approaching Gard at the gazebo. Some weird shit is happening. They are attracted to the green light from a building. Bobbi exits the building. She is trying to make sure everything is set. They have detour signs and Nancy has gotten rid of the state troopers. Bobbi says that zapping them wasn’t necessary. They want to zap Gard, but they are unaware of his proximity. This is the Haven Town Hall. Wasn’t there a TV show on SyFy called Haven or New Haven?

They start chanting one voice. Gard accidentally reveals himself, and he gets away….or not. His truck is fucked and glowing green. Run away, drunk Smits!!! Don’t use the phone booth. A beam of light just attacked him and the booth. There is a green forcefield preventing him from leaving. And yes there was a show called Haven from 2010-2015 and WWE wrestler, Edge, was on there for over half the episodes. And yes, it was influenced by a Stephen King story.

Nancy is flirting with Bryant and gave him a gun. They start making out. Grandpa is at his local library reading about strange deaths and a curse in the woods. Wow, they have like 50 people digging. Bobbi brings Gard to the digging site. I like how everybody is missing teeth. They want Gard to dig. Butch can’t get ahead of Jingles or Ben and Grandpa tries to inform Butch of what is up. Grandpa wants to go back to Haven with Butch to prove his theory.

Hahaha, Gard insulting Bryant’s teeth. Bryant gives Gard a bottle of vodka, but Gard adds it to the wheelbarrow. Butch and Grandpa enter town once it is light out. Nobody is on the main drag of Haven, all deserted. The soda machine that hasn’t been working right all film is now attacking Butch. Is this Maximum Overdrive? The damn thing wouldn’t let go of Butch’s arm and then exploded. Now, it is up to Grandpa and probably Gard to overcome the odds.

Grandpa is taking pictures, and Marie and Bryant find him. They all look like meth addicts. Run old man! They try to trick him by claiming that they found Davey. I don’t like this tomfoolery. I like Grandpa. Gard sees all these people escorting Grandpa to the glowing green barn. Now Nancy is giving Gard the business. They didn’t make her ugly enough. The sound effects for her laser thing are so fucking black and white Twilight Zone. Which I love, but 35 years later, you can do better. At night, Bobbi tells Gard that he can’t escape. Sounds like marriage.

I miss early ’90s attire. It’s not aesthetically pleasing, but very comfortable. Gard checks out the barn at night and sees some shit. He finds Grandpa in a glass case. Then he finds Ruth and Peter. Grandpa tells him to save the boy. This is okay, but also cheesy looking. I’m kinda torn. Grandpa reference the Tommyknockers. Gard is gonna have himself a drink. Wait, nope he’s dumping it. This story is partially about Stephen King’s drinking problems. Gard, are you pulling out a tooth? God damnit.

He did it to convince Bobbi, obviously. She’s dumb. But she claims that she still can’t read his mind. He is manipulating her, giving her the eyes so she thinks that she knows what he wants. Ewww, the skin on her back is peeling. Still better than a foot fetish.

He wants to go into the entrance with her, alone, not with the group. They go back to digging. Gard may have found the entrance. They push on the glowing glass and get lowered down like an elevator. She finds a room is a bunch of floating bodies. Are these skeletons or aliens….definitely aliens. It appears all the aliens are dead and were fighting. But how did they communicate? One is still breathing and moving.

These aliens could fly this telepathically. There’s Davey. Gard just gave himself away. He accuses her of being like a vampire. The aliens will use people like batteries. The fight is on. She has a badass-bladed weapon. He’s Jimmy Smits. I like his odds better. Her irises are losing color. The alien flings Gard. The alien may have sucked Bobbi’s being. Gard decapitated it. Suddenly, Bobbi looks normal again, lively, and her eyes are normal. They hug it out.

Gard breaks through the case to rescue Davey. Gard as a badass battleaxe. Gard tells Bobbi to leave with Davey and Gard will stay behind and destroy this place. That seems completely reasonable. She claims that it wasn’t the plate that kept the Tommyknockers out. It was him being so cool. She rises up. The townspeople are still possessed, for lack of a better term. They are pissed. Gard take out the telepathic alien. Bryant is going to shoot his way in, except that made him disappear. Gard is entering the telepathy chair. It drills into the sides of your head.

Bobbi and Davey go into the barn and he sees Grandpa and Bobbi tries to rescue Pete. 2 Aliens are after Gard, but he closes the door. Nancy is going to attack Bobbi. Terrible girl fight. Nancy goes to shoot Babbi with the lipstick and Granpa stops her. Gard made an alien explode and his eyes turned green. The barn is shaking. The settlement I raising from the ground. The ground is splitting and there is pure chaos. It’s a spaceship and Gard is flying it out of there. 4 aliens approach Gard. He makes the ship explode. That wasn’t nearly as sad as the ending to Stranger Things season 3.

Marie sees Davey. Everybody is back to normal. Is Nancy dead? Probably. Someone had to die aside from Gard and Joe. Does anybody help out poor Becka?

End FIlm

Well, I feel like my time was absolutely wasted. That was in some ways worse than I remember it. Aside from a couple of solid scenes with Becka, Joe, and Nancy, and the dolls coming to life scene, this was tame. It took too long to get to where it was trying to go. This could EASILY have been cut to 2 hours and been just as good/bad.

I thought Butch and Ruth had good performances, and I really liked Grandpa. The kid who played Hilly did well for what it was. Jimmy Smits outshined everyone, but the Becka, Joe, Nacy triangle were all performed well.

There was enough substance. When it’s over, do you think about any particular story or character or are you just happy that it’s finished? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Final Rating – 3.3 – I doubt that I will ever see this again. Too much time and zero payoffs. Aside from good performances, there isn’t much else.

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Konigsberg/Sanitsky Company (as The Konigsberg/Sanitsky Company)

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