We have hit the halfway point ladies and gentlemen. I have had quite a few requests for this particular film. It’s like that film that wasn’t popular when it released, but it caught a buzz on NetFlix when it was on, and it has a small following. It’s an anthology of sorts, 4 small stories. I have only seen this movie once. Let’s see how it fairs now. And for those who read the last blog, I’m having a bagel for lunch with jalapeno cream cheese. Enjoy!
It starts off with an old school style PSA on trick ‘r treating. I enjoyed that. We have a couple, he wants to have some fun and play video games, she is sick of Halloween. While taking down her decorations, she sees a person who is masked just staring her, but it was nobody, just a guy waiting for a ride. The dude is watching porn, we have boobies. She just got attacked while taking down the white sheet ghosts outside, one like bloodied her, killed her probably, you know, because usually, people die in these sorta things. I think that’s how this works. Then he removes a sheet, and she’s dead she is lit up and dead, and we have our opening credits. That’s all you are getting as far as detail. I plan on giving a quick introduction to the other 4 stories without giving away shit. Let’s face it, we all saw that coming….right? Right?
We are in Ohio and there is a sweet parade going on. Some girls are in a costume shop, and they all have wonderful personalities and large breasts. We have a Cinderella, Little Bo Peep, Snow White, and Little Red Riding Hood costumes with lots of cleavage. That’s what whooooores feel they must do to get attention. Some portly kid is knocking down a bunch of pumpkins. He likes candy. The house owner is actually a principal and is encouraging him to eat more candy. The whoooooores are trying to get dates. Anna Pacquin is the virgin of the group. Of course, she is. The principal and the fat kid goes in a fun direction, so I shall leave that be. The principal story is absolutely fantastic.
These 3 kids are trying to gather jack o lanterns. They come across this house with like 20 of them, and apparently it is “Rhonda the Retard’s” house, but one kid clarifies that she is simply an idiot savant. The kids are off on a magical adventure….ok not magical, but an adventure surely. Rhonda is awesome, she knows all about the history of Halloween. So the 5 kids are at a rock quarry, to pay their respects to the dead. This is where the Halloween school bus massacre took place, or so the legend goes. The school bus was a short bus full of 8 kids who are troubled, possibly mentally challenged in some capacity. The school bus driver takes them off the normal path and brings them to the quarry. The kids are all chained down. and strapped to the floors/seats. And then stuff happens. I mean it’s a massacre after all. I will leave the rest of this story to your imagination.
Back to the whoooooores. Cinderella is Red Hiding Hood’s older sister and trying to get her laid. There was a sweet centaur costume. There is also a small kid with a sweet burlap sack mask, and it is huge. I absolutely dig it. Pacquin is trying to make it to the party, but a creepy dude is following her. He may be a vampire. He may not be. Ohhh, Marilyn Manson’s Sweet Dreams is playing. I love this rendition. We just had boobs! One pair should have been 3-4 but I shall not bitch.
The last story involves the principal’s neighbor who was involved in the principal story earlier, but I didn’t want to give away too much. He likes to drink, he’s funny, crotchety, and has an awesome dog. Well after seeing a different perspective from an earlier segment, somebody is clearly messing with this old dude. And it is pretty sweet. This guy’s upstairs is pretty F’N creepy. This guy is gonna have a bad time.
It wrapped itself up. I figure I have to break it down with each story getting a max of 2 points, plus the overall interwoven story. The principal story gets 1.5 because it was too short. The kid’s story gets 2. The whoooores story gets a 1 because the ending of it was so underwhelming. The old guy gets a 1.5, it had its moments but the cheesy factors were a little much at times. The major victory is in the overall interwoven story, which was pretty fucking brilliant, and that gets a 2. You can do the math…well unless your name is Raylene. That’s an 8.0. I guess I enjoyed this movie more than I recalled. I absolutely recommend this to everybody. Plus Cry Little Sister is on the soundtrack, although I don’t remember hearing it during the movie, but how the fuck can you not love that song? I swear, I know some dumb younger person is like, “Huh, what is Cry Little Sister?” I shall pray for your soul tonight. Go look it up.
Final Rating: 8.0
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Warner Bros. (presents)
- Legendary Entertainment (in association with)
- Bad Hat Harry Productions (as Bad Hat Harry)
- Little Sam Films
Please go find a copy and support the creators.