I remember thinking that this looks like a cheesy horror flick from the commercials. I worry because this hit theaters and not many horror movies do, and those that do over the past 5 years or so, I would say at least 80% have been below average. On the other hand, you don’t know until you try it. I am armed with orange juice and Count Chocula. Bring it on!
This has an R rating. That’s a good side. Note, I am being positive at the moment. There’s an online video about Laura Barns committing suicide after some ass clowns posted an embarrassing video online. We see Laura with a gun facing her, some guys trying to talk to her from afar, and she pulls the trigger. Now we see the embarrassing video it was at a party, then some Mitch calls Blaire via Skype, who I presume to be his girlfriend. She puts on some shitty music, he’s topless, I am stuck looking at her feet, and I hate feet. Now we get to see her bruised knee. She has white panties on. He is insistent that she take off the shirt. Goooo on. He is threatening her with a knife. And she fails to give him a payoff shot. She wants to make prom night the night. Mitch is pleased. Adam went to call, but she ignored. Suddenly, a large group chat starts. What the fuck guys? I believe these ass clowns are Jess, Ken, and Adam. There is somebody else in their group, but nobody knows who it is.
Blaire asks Mitch why he accepted the call, he says that he didn’t, so he blames the creep. She is so fucking impatient and gives him like 10 seconds to respond before calling. OK, it’s been longer now at least. Oh good god, they start another video conference. They are gonna try again. Mitch tells her that he got a message from Laura. Now she gets a Facebook message from Laura. Laura asks her what she’s watching, and Blaire removes the video from her history and then asks who is messaging her. This movie is giving me a headache. Adam calls Blaire and the person is still there. Mitch thinks it’s weird that today is Laura’s death. She is gonna report the FB profile for abuse basically. Nobody is talking. I hate the youth of America because this seems about right. Oh, and she spelled seriously srsly. Fuck my life. She can’t unfriend her. Now she can. Laura messages Blaire saying u shouldn’t have done that. Fuck internet type. Laura wants her help.
I couldn’t keep typing. My interest was at an all-time low. This…..this fucking travesty. SO Val, Ken, Adam, Jess, Mitch, and Blaire die in that order. There, I saved you from bullshit. They have rules to follow and then play never have I ever, and teenage drama takes over. Blaire sacrifices Adam to save Mitch, but Adam was the better of the 2 guys. Ken should have just lived. Fuck this film so hard that it dies and is never seen again.
End Film
I have to say that this was better than Mockingbird, and I gave that a 2.0, but not better than the 2-3 films I gave a 2.5. 2.2 seems about right.I genuinely do not know what to say that I haven’t said. If you are a teen, you may be able to relate and stomach this. If you are in your 30’s or later, prepare to want to Hulk Smash this fucking film. This actually had good reviews. No idea how. Probably from the same people who Yelp a lot.
Final rating: 2.2
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