This week, another week of mediocrity is not inspiring confidence in the season’s finale. We see how Michael, Mead, and Dinah infiltrated the Coven and massacred most of the witches, including Queenie and Zoe. The warlocks also got massacred, but Ryan Murphy didn’t think that it was important enough to show, but we got the Anastasia story. Oh yay. If you’re new to the blog, my name is Kent and I ask the questions and get some unique answers. Any comments in bold are from me unless otherwise stated. Please enjoy!
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- Apparently, Madison forgot to mention the whole soul burning concept to the others. Was this a huge F%^& Up on her part? Also, would you have assumed that between her and Behold, they would have reasonably reported back their findings?
Raylene: Oh yes, she screwed up big time. I’m not sure if there was anything that could have been done to prevent that maybe a spell. (Sure, why not? There seems to be a convenient spell when they need one.)
Melanie: Maybe she is working with Michael? This episode was a true mindfuck for me. (I thought about that. I was wondering if the traitor theme could still be in play. I am going to say no only because she was one of the three witches that came back to resurrect the other 3. That doesn’t mean that I am right, just playing the odds.)
Tom: I feel like it was just shitty writing. That is, of course, one of the first things she would have told them. Behold would have brought his findings back to the warlocks as well. (I want to agree with you on the shitty writing. I feel like there will be an explanation in this week’s finale. If not, we should all agree that it was shitty writing.)
Kayleigh: I’m assuming some report was given back to the coven. When they went back to murder house she seemed like she was trying to be genuinely nicer. I have to believe she just missed that detail and fucked up. (The excuse that they can use is that Madison is not one for details, BUT why choose her to investigate? Other options were available. Also, why didn’t she see her relatives while there?)
Kelly: Yes, it was a significant screw up on her part. That’s a pretty serious thing, I mean it’s not even just a life or death detail – it’s a WHOLE F’ING EXISTANCE detail! Yes, I think they would have told her their findings since they too were scared of Michael. (The severity of this is what baffles me the most. I said it’s one of the 3 biggest takeaways from their visit, but it honestly could be #1. Causing people to cease to exist is pretty important.)
Kent: This caused me to blink my eyes a few times in disbelief. I’m sorry. I am cool with the idea of fantasy in this that includes witches and warlocks and robots. Still, within the fantasy realm, we need some logic. I feel terribly confused. Madison and Behold came back and reported what they found. That was easily one of the 3 biggest takeaways I had from that episode, and I knew the characters. So for Madison and Behold, what else did they learn that was more pressing? Back of my hand AHS!
- Give me your thoughts on the scenes in Russia. Also, did anybody find it odd that she easily comprehended English?
Raylene: Well that’s two shows I’ve watched that had the Romanov history in it. I’m not sure why this history is coming to life now. I rolled my eyes and was like for f**k sakes they are including this in AHS. (Perhaps you could have referenced the other show. That would have been useful info.)
Melanie: I enjoyed this scene so much. I saw Anastasia on Broadway this year and I was hoping that AHS would show (in their eyes) what would have happened had her family lived. Not sure about all the English though. Does she travel to other times or America using spells? (I didn’t even know that it was a play. Learning all sorts of new things this year.)
Tom: I like when they incorporate real history into the storyline. I was disappointed that she actually accomplished nothing. As far as breaking the language barrier I was just chalking it up to magic. (I am honestly sick of that magic crutch. Given the nonsense that I watch in horror films and pro wrestling, I suspend my disbelief like a son of a bitch, but this is such a wretched crutch. It is pure laziness.)
Kayleigh: I thought this scene was ehhh. First off when Langdon first comes to the house, I feel like they would have had some kind of spell in place, or security measures to see him coming from miles away. Even with who do you voodoo bitch. Then for them to tie in this time travel… I could have definitely lived without it. And of course, she understood English! Why would this detail bother you? Gawd! (The security measures are beyond lacking given the situation that they were currently in. Thankfully they made Adina Porter important again and yet not a single person has brought her up yet. That’s funny. I have a threshold for details that bother me. When a movie or show exceeds that threshold, I grow grumpy. I am officially grumpy because it’s lazy.)
Kelly: I lost interest during this part so I can’t comment on it. Sorry! (No, don’t apologize. You missed mindless garbage. You should pat yourself on the back.)
Kent: I expect that people will have good reasons for Anastasia’s English skills, but it still bothered the hell out of me. I can’t say that the scenes were useless as this was foreshadowing for next week’s finale. Maybe Misty will bring Anastasia back for the big confrontation. I didn’t really enjoy the scenes though, and I love Mallory. I didn’t hate them, but another thing that could have been condensed, in my opinion.
- Who was the bigger badass on the assault on the witches: Michael or Mead?
Raylene: Mead was a pretty damn badass beast at the coven. Not sure who did the killing of the warlocks that was brutal but without knowledge of that but I find Mead as the badass. (Yeah, I mean they couldn’t have spent a minute to show the warlocks get taken out? That’s the amount of time they spent on the witches. They couldn’t have cut any time from the Satanic church or Mutt and Jeff scenes?)
Melanie: Mead has an automatic rifle for a hand. This rang very terminator for me, therefore very badass. (Do you have a secret thing for Terminators?)
Tom: I guess I gotta go with Mead. A rifle popped out of her arm like Rick Sanchez. She also appeared to do the majority of the killing. I was actually a bit disappointed that the witches were so easy to kill. (I just finished the final 2 episodes of Rick & Morty. I kept forgetting to finish them.)
Kayleigh: Mead was definitely badass, but I’m disappointed Langdon didn’t do more with his powers. And the witches should have done way more to protect themselves. They just dropped like flies, terrible showing. (Michael was super efficient. There is something to be said for the speed and precision and body count for what he did. It’s like a magic sniper.)
Kelly: Mead, even though she was under his control. Also, that scene was so stupid. Really? That’s how they go? You’re kidding, right? (So everybody seemed to have an issue with how easy they got taken out. My word for this week’s episode is lazy (or laziness) and this felt very lazy. This should have been a badass 1 or 2 segment battle. Instead, it lasted for a minute at most. It’s like Murphy was like “Okay guys, we can either have this really cool fight between the witches and Michael/Mead OR we can invest time in the Mutt and Jeff characters that our fans are sure to love!” Missed opportunity, big time.)
Kent: I don’t have the exact kill count. I do know that Michael was more efficient. That was such a good kill scene. Still, I gotta side with Mead because she took out Zoe and Queenie and others in a badass way. There are no wrong answers…for now.
- Sooo Behold and John Henry got got. Do you feel like they should have done more with their characters?
Raylene: Yes you brought back John Henry for hardly anything very disappointed. (Complete and utter disappointment here.)
Melanie: I really liked Behold and John Henry. I was hoping for more but knew it was just a matter of time. (Well, while it was a matter of time like they did jack shit. Behold is just lucky to get to visit Murder House, I guess.)
Tom: Yes, every season I feel like they create this huge story and then have to finish it off abruptly. More so in this season than ever before. They just starting killing off people like crazy and then have a weak ending. (That is AHS’s MO. You could accept it more if they didn’t waste time, but every season, they waste so much time on dumb shit, and that is where resentment is formed.)
Kayleigh: I knew eventually they were going to die, but they could have done way more with them before their time came. I mean “let’s bring John Henry back, then never show him again til he’s dead on the floor.” Fail. (Hey, he got to see the burning….that’s something, right? Nah, it was a total middle finger + fail as far as I’m concerned.)
Kelly: Yes! They should have fought by the witches side in this epic battle we’ve all dreamt up in our heads for the last 9 weeks. Oy vey. (This epic battle should have been at least a full episode with all sorts of cool and crazy shit. Every year, I swear my ending is always better than what we get. This show is turning into an abusive relationship. I’m like every dumb female in every Lifetime film in the 90’s. They give something pretty like witches and Murder House and now it’s back to getting abused.)
Kent: Yeah, see, for people who defended last week’s episode and anybody defending this week, I will personally pose this question. Wouldn’t you have rather had more John Henry and Behold and less of some of the nonsense of the past 2 weeks? That would have been infinitely more enjoyable and added better quality than Mutt and Jeff and the Satanic church and Russia.
- Am I the only one slightly concerned about the quality of the finale given the 2 most recent episodes? I know some of you liked them, and some of you loathed them. So I expect a variety of responses, and possibly some snarky comments.
Raylene: These past two episodes reminded me of the second half of Roanoke they better pull their head out of each other asses for this finale. (Threats are good. Direct them at Murphy.)
Melanie: Were they Cult bad? No. They do need to get their shit together and fast. (I will say that Cult improved toward the end, in some ways. But yeah, this isn’t Cult bad. Cult is the bar that no season can limbo below.)
Tom: Episode 8 was shit. 9 was a step up but they are just trying to cram sooo much storyline into one episode. I really don’t expect to be satisfied at all by the finale. (Yeah, if you think about your expectations after episode 7 with the burnings, I bet your expectations were pretty solid. Now, we just hope for something reasonably satisfying.)
Kayleigh: The way I had hopes for this season to be halfway decent in the beginning, then the last two episodes just being a big fart… I’m concerned the finale will just be a turd. (We’ll have to get the Hardly Boys on the case! I am playing some South Park game on my phone and joined some group called The Hardly Boys. It gave me a clue. I hope the finale gives me a clue.)
Kelly: Nope, I am too. My best friends are watching too and they made a comment the other day about how these next few episodes are going to go. I literally yelled “there are no next episodes! It’s the finale next week!” They were dumbfounded and just as confused at how the hell Murphy is going to wrap this shit up. (Yeah, it’s a shock to the system for anybody who is unaware that this was the penultimate episode. Dumbfounded is a perfect word to describe how I felt watching this and constantly checking how much time was remaining.)
Kent: I would have gladly accepted more man ass this season if it would have condensed these 2 episodes into just one shitty episode. This is why I was pissed off and worried last week. AHS sometimes struggles at the end of their seasons. It’s not just an AHS thing. Horror in general often peters out at the end. Go ahead and think of how many season finales were good on this show. Think about how many horror movies actually had a good ending. I am very worried because if this last episode is of the same quality as the episodes 8 and 9, it’s truly going to alter how I feel about the season overall.
Final Thoughts – Make any bold predictions that you want before we wrap up this memorable season. Tell us anything that you think may happen or anything that you hope happens,
Raylene: The Axeman and Dr. Arthur Arden return that’s all. Ha, I just read your response I see we both want Axeman. (I’d love for them to somehow explain that the past episodes were Arden creating some awful monstrosity. Just blame him for the past two weeks.)
Melanie: The apocalypse will not happen. We will go back to the before and see a little more of the first characters living their lives…some terrible and some not. (Melanie, I don’t mean this in a mean way….but that sounds absolutely horrible to me, and I can totally see something like that happening and some song from Murder House or Coven to play at the end. I don’t want a happy ending. It’s supposed to be horror. The last episode is called Apocalypse Then. I don’t have a good feeling about this)
Tom: Well it’s pretty clear that the power to change the past is gonna be key. I bet they let Michael play his hand out with the nuclear holocaust. My prediction is the Cordelia sacrifices herself in the battle against Langdon, then Mallory goes back in time and changes everything. (First Melanie, and now you. You people have me worried!!!)
Kayleigh: Axe Man, and Fiona come back from hell. That’s my wish list. (I find myself missing Wes Bentley in the weirdest way. I like everything that you just said though. That would please me.)
Kelly: Cordelia will die. I hope Michael kills them all. These were two horrible near-end episodes and I don’t even care anymore. (I wouldn’t be too pissed off if it ends with Michael wiping them all out and possibly going and playing cards with March. )
Kent: Cordelia is dying, right? I think I saw Constance in the preview. Soooo if they have Lange, just going to beg for it one last time and predict that Fiona and Axe Man return. Cordelia actually mentioned Fiona by name this week. It gave me a glimmer of hope. I am sticking to my theory that Mallory and Coco win this battle. I keep wanting to say that Mallory sacrifices herself to save Coco because that would cause so much rage, but I think that they both last. I think Myrtle and Mead have a showdown because that would make sense. Myrtle wins that one with a logical paradox that short circuits Mead. And I have this gut feeling that we see Stevie Nicks one last awful time. Maybe that is just all the alcohol that I drank and that is why I feel queasy. I would like an appearance by Denis O’Hare and Wes Bentley. I would like Evan Peters to have 7 more characters this week. I do not want a happy ending. Above all else, I do not accept a happy ending. That would be such a lazy bullshit “It was all just a dream” cop-out. I feel the anger bubbling, and I must remind myself that it’s just a show, but it’s a show that I have invested my time into.
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