Welcome ladies and….well probably just ladies, to the only AHS blog where people are asked copious amounts of questions, and we answer them. I’d like to proudly introduce my special lady friends who helped me out with this blog: Melanie, Cece, Kelly, and Stefanie. Glad to have you all back.
Well, this is an episode that we need to discuss. I think that this is the first time that I have heard the term twat used on cable TV. I have so many things to say, and rest assured, my girls here do too. Just know this, if you loved the episode, you are not alone. If you loathed this episode, you are not alone. I want to just discuss some things and get some varied opinions, which I guarantee. I talked with a few of the ladies during the show, and it seems like I am in the minority, but with this blog, as the only person with a penis, and the smoothest legs, I end up being the minority. This week, I wasn’t satisfied with just the typical 9 Deuce setup so that’s why we are giving you the 9 Deuce Deuce. Enjoy.
On a personal note, i downloaded a bunch of Stone Cold Steve Austin GIF’s to help describe things.
The 9
- Ryan Murphy claimed that Jether Polk was “The most fucked up character of all time.” How do you feel about that proclamation after seeing this character this week?
Melanie: Fucked up meaning sad…no way. Fucked up meaning disgusting…not even close.
Cece: First off, from what I understand, Murphy said that this was specifically Finn Witrock’s most fucked up character. I don’t think he meant in general. But, I still don’t think I agree with that statement. Dandy Mott was a little shit and I loved to hate him. Maybe there’s more behind ol’ Jether toward the end? (Kent: Well, every source I have read suggests exactly what was written. Ryan Murphy wish he had this quote back because it was an out and out lie to hype up the show. Do a search for “ryan murphy most fucked up character” and you will find plenty of articles. I’ll provide links.)
http://horrorfreaknews.com/ahss-ryan-murphy-promises-reveal-fucked-character-yet
http://www.mtv.com/news/2944549/american-horror-story-most-fucked-character-finn-wittrock/
Kelly: I don’t think he is! I actually felt bad for him. I liked the dynamic between Lee and Jether as they got to know each other. I’m sad he couldn’t be saved honestly because it seemed like he was out of place in the Polk family and could potentially be a functioning human being if he got away and got the right therapy/treatment.
Stef: Just like good ol’ “Crusty the clown” in Freak Show, I definitely wouldn’t go claiming he was the most ANYTHING sort of character. Fucked up & inbred, yes, but don’t hype it all up for us to be let down like that. (I’m glad I didn’t see/hear that statement before I watched the episode. I think they should just not make claims, and let us watch & decide.)
Kent: Are you fucking kidding me? This is a joke, right? I feel that we have seen 5-10 more fucked up characters in some sense throughout the franchise. Even Finn played one in Freak Show. This was strictly false hype to try to get viewers. Even if Jether makes more appearances, the bar is set so high that he would really have to push some limits. Are they truly copying TWD with bad hype mechanisms? TWD did the false Glenn death, the Daryl kill, and then the cliffhanger. SHAME!
- We now know more about Pig Head. We know that he was Kinkaid Polk. We know the time frame that he was alive. Was he the same guy that Shelby saw in the woods in episode 2? If so, what the hell did he do? Give me some theories here if you have any because we still don’t have the full story.
Melanie: Ma Polk (shudder) and the youngest Polk (even bigger shudder) mentioned that Kinkaid Polk copied what the butcher did to her victims by putting a pig head on them before roasting them. That is what Shelby saw in the woods, one of The Butcher’s victims. (Kent: Well done!)
Cece: I honestly have no idea on what’s going on with him. I’m sure it was probably the same guy, but I barely remember the exact scene you’re referring to.
Kelly: I sadly can’t contribute to this question as I dont have a good answer about his character.
Stef: You mean the one Shelby saw in the woods over the fire?? I would say that was NOT Kinkaid, because didn’t the Polks say that the butcher stuffed a pig head on a man and roasted him to sort of pay homage to Kinkaid?? Or did I hear that all wrong?? (Kent: No, you’re right as well. I’m an idiot with zero short term memory.)
Kent: While I concur with what Melanie said and can’t say it any better, I will offer my wacky theory that Shelby made up what she saw in the woods based on information that was provided to her prior to filming. Let’s face it, all of these shows that the first half parodied are mostly a bunch of bullshit, so why wouldn’t this be the same? It’s just sensationalized.
- Do you feel that they have left out important info on the Chen family?
Melanie: That they were apparently a family of gymnasts. (Kent: I laughed.)
Cece: This is also possible. I feel like they overlooked their story and just threw it in there quickly to add to Denis O’Hare’s stories. (Kent: I agree with that. Unfortunately, if that was the case and you needed more stories for Denis, which is the right decision, he could have told the story of the OG Pig Head or even about Kincaid. They could have left out the Chen’s as they haven’t really done anything. At least the nurses and Pig Head have kills.)
Kelly: They are a part of the season I forgot about… HAPPILY forgot about. I can’t even watch the scenes because they terrify me. The less I know and the less I have to see that family the better for me.
Stef: Ah yes! I almost forgot about the Chens! That would explain the creepy crawly things that look like they came out of “The Grudge”.
Kent: They have really dropped the ball here. The Chens seem like such a fascinating story. They had some important back stories to really delve into. The Chens are the creepiest of the characters to some, but have been treated worse than Priscilla. It’s not like Ju On existed when the Chens got got. We know that they moved into the house in 1973. We know that they came from Taiwan and nobody informed them of the house’s history. They were doing their best to adapt to American life. One girl, Amy I think, was scared by Pig Head and fell down the stairs and potentially hurt her arm. The Chen’s prayed and offered sacrifices to their gods, but it was Blood Moon season, so they got killed. The newspaper reported them missing. That is all I can find. These are the creepiest characters, and that’s the best that you can do? At least the nurses had a back story and have gotten a kill. The Chen’s deserve better! As you can see, even my esteemed colleagues are baffled. It’s not just me.
- How do you feel about Lee admitting to killing Mason?
Melanie: We all knew it, so I guess validated? (Kent: Not everybody knew it, so don’t become a cocky jerk. Nah, join me in being a validated jerk! Yay, validation!)
Cece: I was honestly shocked. Was sort of rooting for her to be a better person.
Kelly: I see it. I wasn’t too sure in the beginning if she did it, being that there are many culprits who could have done it. It’s very reasonable though and I can see why Lee wanted to let her daughter know the truth so she could go on with her life knowing what really happened to both of her parents. (Kent: I like the reason for her admission. That was actually smart.)
Stef: I was disappointed, and a little shocked. I honestly didn’t believe she did it. But I still don’t think she was the one that strung him up like that. How could she have done it alone?? (Kent: I honestly believe that we are going to find out some stuff on Lee over the next 2 weeks. That bitch is sinister.)
Kent: I’m absolutely the kind of guy to say that I told you so because I’m a self-absorbed asshole. Yeah, I feel good to sit among the nay-sayers. I’ll tell you all something else, there is something more sinister to Lee’s character than we know. You won’t find that in any bullshit interview, you read it here first. You’re welcome.
- Why did Audrey go for her ring first, once she was free, rather than killing Ma Polk?
Melanie: Because it was Rory’s gift to her.
Cece: It could have been of sentimental value to her and she wanted it back because Rory was dead.
Kelly: (Can I just add that I hate Frances got the reenactment version of Ma Polk instead of the real life version!) Instinct? The last remnant of her husband? That’s what I’d assume. (Kent: I agree, Frances should have been the real version!!! Exclamation points!!!)
Stef: Who knows. They’re traumatized & confused. It’s the only piece of her husband she has to hold on to right now I suppose. But I totally would’ve clubbed that bitch first. (Kent: With that response, you are allowed to survive with me.)
Kent: First of all, how were we getting all of the camera angles in the Polk’s place? We had some overhead shots. This is supposed to be found footage, right? Sorry for nitpicking, wait no I am not! These are supposed to be the real life people, so how are we able to see this footage. Is there a smart Polk that knows how to set up AV equipment?
To answer the real question, because bitches are dumb and don’t think practically. I want to say that it’s only in the films, but no, it’s real-life. Their priorities are completely inane at the most pertinent of times. Now this answer won’t win me any fans, and that’s fine. You kill first. You then arm yourself with as many useful things as possible. You then either execute a plan of attack, or fall back to where you can devise an appropriate, well thought out plan. If you get your ring, great, grand, wonderful. It sure as shit is pretty fucking meaningless if you’re dead because you’re a dumbass. Trust me, any guy who is reading this is nodding his head. In times of great danger, sentimentality will get you killed.
- Why the hell didn’t Dom say anything when he heard Audrey and Lee return?
Melanie: adding suspense? (Kent: Yeah, that’s the TV Show reason.)
Cece: I honestly don’t know either. I think he was just burnt out and looked like he’d ‘seen some shit’. (Kent: I wish he had said that.)
Kelly: He just watched a woman he had intimate relations with slice her own throat and realized Sidney isn’t saving his “precious actor” ass. Shock, man. And he didn’t know what was the other side of that bathroom door. Even if it was Lee and Audrey, who knows if they were alone out there.
Stef: I know. I would’ve been freaked out & happy as hell to finally see them return, but he just sat there till they walked in the bathroom. I guess maybe it was done for suspense on the show’s part… keep us wondering for an extra minute or two if he’s still alive. (Kent: Yeah, suspense.)
Kent: Totally lazy writing. That is about as lazy as you can get. You are alone after dealing with that shit, first of all, you are going to be on your guard when hearing anybody come near. Secondly, if you recognized the voices, you’d get them in with you ASAP to add safety in numbers. As a matter of fact, had he acted in that manner, the dumbasses probably would have believed him when he told them what happened. This was the laziest bit of AHS since the final episode of Freak Show, which was trash!
- Why was Dom such a pussy about being forced out of the room?
Melanie: He didn’t want to die.
Cece: Again, he was probably a bit traumatized by what was going on. Especially seeing Shelby kill herself right in front of him. He’s just an actor. He hasn’t gone through this shit much. (Kent: In all fairness, how many of us have sat in a bathroom of a haunted house with a white chick that you banged on the side, and watched her slit her throat hours after she bashed her ex-husband’s head in? Hands…..anybody? Just because he’s an actor doesn’t mean that he should lack common sense. I used to act, poorly. I still know enough to not be THAT dumb.)
Kelly: They’re in a house haunted by vicious ghosts and are being targeted by vengeful spirits… I’d want to stick together, too. He didn’t kill Shelby anyway even though he was being accused. They forced him out on allegations they didn’t know were true or false.
Stef: Omg! That pissed me off a bit. I know if I were him I would’ve been fighting for my life, and probably would’ve knocked Lee right the hell out if she didn’t believe me. (Kent: That’s the answer! Knock bitches out until you are safe.)
Kent: The real reason is quite simple. Lazy writing, yet again. The guy that just last week was talking about being the asshole of the group, now suddenly is a complete and utter bitch? No, they changed the character to suit the needs to get from point A to point Z. Unfortunately, they didn’t have Dom stay true to his character. He could easily have over powered both of those dumb bitches. He had the means to protect himself, and that’s how Dom would have reacted and been about himself as soon as they became aggressive towards him. So there you go, the truth.
- Why were the women safe from attack while in the bedroom throughout the night?
Melanie: If they killed off everyone there would be no more episodes. (Kent: Real reason, preach.)
Cece: I think by the time they laid down, it was already starting to become morning and everything was stifled. (Kent: I think that is the most logical reason. Otherwise, lazy writing. I’m being generous and giving the benefit of the doubt though. Timing could have been an issue.)
Kelly: You got me! I thought for sure after Dom they’d be targeted. (Kent: That does seem logical does it not, dude?)
Stef: That’s what I can’t figure out. Pig man had been in the shower before, so why wouldn’t things come into the bedroom. I don’t recall any “spirit” attacks happening in the bedroom. ??? (Kent: Wasn’t Rory killed in a bedroom? I’m too lazy to look back to know for sure. But if it’s a bedroom thing, like a safe zone, that is intriguing.)
Kent: Yeah, I think it is potentially reasonable that time may have been on their side. With that being said, lazy writing yet again. All they had to do was show a shot of a clock after Dom’s death, or a shot outside of dawn. We know that Pig Head is pissed and just killed Dom, so there was no reason, no fucking reason why he didn’t come in there and kill Lee and Audrey. Logic fallacies are fun.
- Why is Dylan the first person to check on the house? Shouldn’t there have been people trying to contact Sydney or pretty much anybody working on the set?
Melanie: Is it all made up? (Kent: That would be great! And then Jessica Lange wakes up as her character from Coven, Fiona, and Axe Man is all like “You were having one hell of a dream.” That is how I would end this season.)
Cece: He was probably supposed to do a gig for Sidney and be another scare actor to the plan of the weekend. He must have shown up late and stumbled into this fuckery. (Kent: That sounds like a reason that they could use, plus you used the term fuckery.)
Kelly: I hated the cliffhanger, gosh darn it! You give us the first interesting episode (in my opinion) and then leave us like that? Screw you, Murphy! You’d think more “staff” would be trying to get to the group but apparently either everyone involved died or didn’t find it necessary to bother them for the three nights. (Kent: You’re gosh darn right! Screw you Murphy! I just want to say it one more time. Gosh darn it!!! Ah.)
Stef: Right. I understand they’re out there a bit, but nearly everyone is dead now, and there’s been no one checking on them this whole time. Can’t anyone else see what’s being filmed right now?? (Kent: In the real world, yes, people would be running film back to be saved and uploaded for editing. There’s a lot of things that would be happening.)
Kent: I agree with what has been said. My issue is that we know that there are people who are supposed to be running the gags in the house, we know that there are supposed to be other crew. It’s lazy writing, yet again. Just give a reason why these people aren’t there. Maybe you should have done more than 10 episodes and filled in some gaps. That’s a crazy thought, I know.
Bonus Deuce Deuce
- Do you believe in the even season curse? To elaborate, it is my belief that every odd season is a better season than any even season. Some may say that the even seasons, such as this, Freak Show, and Asylum were the low points in the AHS franchise.
Melanie: No. I think they have all been fantastic.
Cece: I don’t believe so. It all depends on everyone’s tastes. To me, Hotel and Freakshow were probably my favorite seasons. I need to re-watch Murder House, but I think I really like that one too.
Kelly: Yes. There were parts of Asylum that were worthy of remembering just like Freak Show, but overall I still love the odd seasons most. (Kent: I couldn’t have said it better in just one sentence. They were the oddities with some cool stuff every once in awhile, and the Name Game sequence, which I abhor, and I believe you love it.)
Stef: Yes, absolutely. They’ve definitely been the more terrible seasons.
Kent: Yeah, the curse is alive and well. Murder House, Coven, and Hotel were the 3 best seasons by most metrics, while Asylum had solid acting but forced too many things into a story that would have done better with less. Freak Show was just a fucking disaster on every level imaginable. So many holes in the ideology of it, it wasn’t even all that fun to watch aside from a few characters. It was the worst roles for Evan, Jessica, Denis, Emma, Matt, and even Angela. So how in the hell is Freak Show not complete shit again? Honest question, because aside from the setting, Finn, Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Chiklis, John Carroll Lynch, and Sarah Paulson, it was not good.
- Who will be missed more: Shelby or Dom?
Melanie: Eh…either/or would have been fine.
Cece: Shelby. Dom was an ass.
Kelly: Shelby, even though I’m not a super fan of her anyway. Dom was an idiot and disposable.
Stef: I personally will miss Dom more. Shelby was too blah… Sulky & kinda whiny.
Kent: Dom, obviously. We don’t need more women killing bitches. We need guys who do work. Dom was not an ass. He was smart up until he got forced out of the room. Big fucking difference. This is why guys get called assholes. Fact. I also really enjoyed Cuba in this role.
- Will Dom or Matt return from the dead to get revenge?
Melanie: Maybe Dom, if he is really dead. Matt is happy to be with his bit of strange. (Kent: Points for using the term strange in an appropriate manner!)
Cece: I’m not quite sure. Dominic may come back for the girls, but the person who killed Matt is now dead too…
Kelly: Possibly but none of the others have, like Rory or Sidney or even Edward. Not even Kathy’s character has shown up after her death. (Kent: Didn’t Edward make a brief appearance last week when the 3 girls were trying to escape through the tunnel? You bring up a point that hasn’t really been brought up. Is there a time frame from date of death to when you can revisit as a spirit/ghost? This is horror, and the only way horror can thrive is with established rules damnit. You don’t put Rory in direct light. You don’t get Monet wet. You sure as hell don’t feed Lee after midnight. I like Gremlins.)
Stef: Maybe Matt will step in to help save his sister. Who btw is CRAZY for wanting to go back to the Polk house to try to retrieve the video. I’m sure she wants to be rid of it incase she lives, so that Flora (and the police) don’t see her confession, but c’mon now… Is just worry about staying alive. (Kent: Following every standard set in horror, all of these irrational actions lead me to believe that Lee will be the last one when she kills Audrey or Monet last.)
Kent: While I would love to see Matt return, with Shelby dead, it reduces that possibility. We still can’t discount him being in a trance under The Witch and doing her bidding. Dom, I hope he gets revenge and kills Audrey and Lee. After that, I don’t care if it’s Monet or Wes Bentley’s guy who lives. Either is acceptable, but Audrey and Lee deserve to die. I still think that we will see more sinister behavior from Lee, so she is now the clear cut front runner to survive. She has a wound, so that fits a lot of horror clichés. Don’t be surprised when Lee kills off one of the remaining girls.
- Why did you love or hate this episode?
Melanie: I liked it. I didn’t have super strong feelings about it.
Cece: I loved seeing Finn’s sick character. And I liked how the girls got away.
Kelly: Shit happened for once. It’s tying together.
Stef: This is too many bonus questions, Kent. I was satisfied with the episode. Didn’t hate it, but didn’t LOVE it because I would’ve liked to see some things go differently… like Dom’s death annoyed me. Ya know?? (Kent: I will attempt to keep it to the usual number of questions this upcoming week because editing all of this shit takes more time, and I know it keeps you up.)
Kent: I HATED this episode and has made me not give a fuck about the last 2 episodes in all sincerity. It is such a shame. The first half was some of the best stuff that AHS has ever offered us, and then it shit the bed in glorious fashion. The lazy writing, the logical fallacies, the choices that these stupid bitches made, make this episode a grueling thing to sit through. It was indefensible, from my perspective. I know these ladies will tell you otherwise, and if you are reading this, you are most likely a female, as that is the target demographic, and you are probably agreeing with the ladies, and that’s fine. Just try to think about all of the points that I have brought up, really consider them piece by piece, and think about why so many things happened. Take your fangirl glasses off, and analyze it. This episode is the embodiment of lazy horror writing. I have seen this sort of shit happen all too often, and it is very mind numbing, and it is cookie cutter shit. Horror at it’s finest is something that invokes a “what would you do in this situation” thought process. When you watch horror, you think about that at some point and then make fun of the poor decisions. That is the premise of the Scream franchise in a sense. The whole second half was one big bad decision, minus the fun factor, so more like Scream 3. I really am not looking forward to Wednesday’s episode other than to get it done with and hope for some redemption with a Priscilla or Chen’s story arc.
I need to insult people one last time. As of 8:05AM on Monday November, 7, 2016 EST, The top 3 rated episodes per IMDB as voted by the fans are 1) Chapter Six w/ 9.1 Rating, 2) Chapter Seven w/ 9.0 Rating, 3) The Name Game from Asylum w/ 9.0. Here’s a sadder thing, the top 11 Episodes per ratings are from the even seasons. Fucking idiots that rate there, mainly millennials and pompous film people who thing because they took a film class in college, that means that they somehow get things deeper. Fucking people. Back of my hand.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of the FX Network, Ryan Murphy, and whoever else is involved.