We wrapped up the season in a very AHS manner. As you will see, there were some fans, and then there I was bitching and moaning. If you’re new to the blog, my name is Kent and I ask the questions and get some unique answers. Any comments in bold are from me unless otherwise stated. Please enjoy!
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- Are you satisfied with the witches’ showdown with Michael, Mead, and Dinah (I think she kinda counts)?
Kristi: I am. I enjoyed it.
Raylene: Not really Michael just got super angry and was taking them out.
Cece: I think it could have honestly been executed much better. I am all for Cordelia going out like a badass, though. (Yeah, the execution existed but could have been better. Cordelia went out like a champ.)
Melanie: Yes! I thought it was amazing.
Kelly: It’s a coven full of women, so I think they did pretty well by using their conniving ways. I had a better answer last night as is was falling asleep but alas, it’s gone! (Now I am curious what your “last night” answer was.)
Kent: It was fine, but that should have been a longer showdown. It wasn’t so much the quality, but really, that was so short. I would have enjoyed it had they took their time with it. But this is what happens when you waste two whole episodes!
- What are your thoughts on Mallory killing off Michael the way that she did?
Kristi: I really liked all things this episode. I think it was written well. Having him die alone in the street solidified it for me. (Him dying alone was probably the only part of this that I liked. )
Raylene: So that’s how you take the antichrist out by a car? (What, were you expecting something cooler?)
Cece: Eh. I mean she could have hit him a couple more times for good measure. (At least use a sledgehammer at some point while listening to Peter Gabriel.)
Melanie: I thought it was true AHS style. Weird and a bit off-putting. (You’re right. I couldn’t have said it better myself, so not gonna try.)
Kelly: I mean she had to do it some way! I’m surprised he actually died from that, but I’m glad they took it back to Murder House and Constance kept him from condemning the home. It showed the gentle side of her heart. My husband had a thought though, in this moment, and thought maybe she would take him to die in the house so that his soul couldn’t escape. I wonder if that was a plausible option, as well? (The idea of the house containing his soul is an interesting one. It goes back to something I never seem to shut up about. What are the limits of his power? Could he have escaped the house? You would think so. But then again, you’d expect the antichrist to not get got by a car.)
Kent: I get it, doesn’t mean that I gotta like it. It was silly in that AHS way. I would have liked something. He got got by a vehicle, not by magic, and some people will find that poetic or something. There are no wrong answers here. Was I looking for something cooler? Yes, yes I was. Like, what the fuck was Zachary Quinto doing? He could have come and just killed him quickly, as Zachary Quinto.
- What were your thoughts on the scenes with Constance and Michael? Did she make the right decision?
Kristi: Absolutely! She had to go for Malory to become the new supreme. She made the right choice. (I believe these are Kristi’s thoughts on Cordelia and Michael, soooo it’s like a bonus answer to a question that I didn’t ask. I can dig it.)
Raylene: I think she did she didn’t want to keep cleaning up after Michael anymore and wanted to spend her days with her children without stress from him. I think if she brought him back into the house to die he would have tortured everyone. (He possibly could have done far worse things. If he doesn’t know his powers, does he have them? Superman was Superman no matter what, but Luke had to be trained by Yoda, so I’d like to know which is it with Michael.)
Cece: Definitely. Constance was already a hot mess as it is. Having the Antichrist as your Grandson has to be the icing on the cake. She couldn’t take it anymore.
Melanie: She sure did. She was afraid of him and didn’t want to be afraid anymore.
Kelly: As I said above, she did what was right for the souls stuck in the house. She kept Michael out. Who knows what would have happened if he did get stuck there with the others.
Kent: I am starting to realize how bad my questions were this week. I openly apologize.
- What were your 3 personal highlights of the season that doesn’t involve “ _____ returned to the show”? That’s for later on.
Kristi: 1. The reveal that Langdon was the devil’s spawn. I wasn’t sure about that. 2. I really enjoyed watching the episode of him bringing the witches back. The scene in the lab was really good for me. 3. I also enjoyed the last scenes of the devil’s child, Rosemary’s baby if you will.
Raylene: I enjoyed the reality of the world could actually come to an end like that and it could happen to really have these outposts. The 3 were pretty smart to bury themselves in the Louisiana swamp to survive. I liked the scenes where Michael and Mead were in the deli and Michael taught the meat man a lesson
Cece: I loved Cody Fern being implemented this season. He blew me away and I cannot wait to see him used more in the future. I did love Mallory’s character and I feel like she was a wonderful addition to the coven. Her healing was amazing. And I really enjoyed the flashbacks to Murder House. The Murder House episode was one of the best.
Melanie: 1. Madison’s personal hell tickled me so much because I could identify having worked in retail a thousand years ago. That would probably be my hell as well. 2. Seeing Coco as not a bitch and a decent human being really put it all in perspective and I was rooting for her. 3. Tie-ins to so many seasons really were my favorite parts.
Kelly: That’s a toughy because we all know we loved the comebacks. I’ll word it differently then. 1. I loved that we got to see some more history of Coven as well as the introduction to the male counterpart of warlocks. 2. I enjoyed that they finished off loose ends from one of the most iconic seasons if not the greatest: Murder House. Putting Moira to rest and reuniting both Ben and Viv and Violet and Tate were heartwarming moments we’ve been hanging onto for years. 3. I also really liked that they united the different forces with a common goal of defeating the anti-Christ; bringing together a couple warlocks, the witches, the Voodoo Queen herself Marie Laveau. That was awesome!
Kent: 1. Moira finding her mother was probably my favorite part. 2. Coco’s insults were top notch stuff. 3. Stevie Nicks………hahahaha. No! I’d say that they cleverly snuck Hotel into this season and gave Evan Peters 4 characters to play. Also, Brock taking on those dudes in the wasteland was badass.
- What were your 3 personal low points for the season? Yes, we all can point at episodes 8 & 9, but you can really combine them into one answer and get a bit more creative. I have faith in you.
Kristi: I don’t know that I can give 3 instances but the season started really slow for me. The first episodes were not great for me. Annoying ass Coco and sitting around in the safe place was a bit boring. The dinner scenes and them sitting around listening to music replaying. I didn’t love that. Also, when Langdon came in and we didn’t know what was up. It bothers me to not know what was up. I know it was all a build up but it was annoying.
Raylene: When they brought John Henry back for pretty much nothing. Anything to do with Coco her character never grew on me and we didn’t get much with Papa
Cece: I kind of hated the two dumb and dumber dudes. I feel like they could have been better. I don’t like that we didn’t get to see what could have been Coco’s full powers. And bringing John Henry back was almost pointless.
Melanie: I didn’t see the point of the three dark hooded people coming to the houses. I enjoyed seeing the lady who plays pepper as something else, but I really just didn’t think they added anything. That was the only thing I could think of as truly a dislike.
Kelly: 1. The entire “coconut head” story. Those were two stupid characters with a stupid storyline. Just stop. 2. Sandra Bernhard. I thought these scenes were poor acting. 3. The flow of the season – we could have done without all the time-traveling scenes. It became confusing a lot of the time deciphering where we were whether it was present or past.
Kent: 1. How lame they handled the Satan worshippers. They made them so cheesy. I didn’t like that at all. 2. How they misused Angela Bassett and gave Adina Porter too much screen time. 3. The last 15-20 minutes. Also, lack of man ass left me without many of my favorite AHS jokes.
- Okay, now tell me which 3 returning characters made you happiest this season.
Kristi: Queenie
Raylene: Constance, Nan, Queenie
Cece: Myrtle & Nan.
Melanie: Constance, Nan, and Queenie
Kelly: Of course Jess, Jamie Brewer and Frances Conroy. Honorable mentions: Connie Britton, Dylan McDermott, and Angela Bassett. You couldn’t keep me to just 3, man.
Kent: I don’t think that this is allowable, but I don’t care. I am including Myrtle & Moira as one pick. I love Frances Conroy. James March is an obvious one……except I am the only one to choose him. What the hell? Last one……I want to say Misty but I will go Madison. Ben would have been my 5 and Nan my 6. The 2 black characters that I loved the most got less than 10 minutes combined screen time or else Marie and Legba would be up there..
- Which three characters exclusive to this season made you the happiest? I would say that Michael belongs here rather than #6. I fully expect everybody to have Coco, Mutt & Jeff, and Hannah (Sandra Bernhard), but maybe I’ll be wrong.
Raylene: Mead, Joan,
Cece: Mallory, Michael & Chablis.
Melanie: Chablis, Mallory, and Myrtle
Kelly: Mallory. Bubbles. Behold.
Kent: Coco, Mallory (her hair), and Mead. I feel bad for Venable because she deserves some love.
- What was the biggest missed opportunity of the season?
Raylene: All that build up for the grand fight in the end just to be let down I mean really he was killed by a damn car. Would have been nice to actually see Satan himself. (Yeah, at best we got a shadow. More Hell stuff in general could have been way cooler. We did get a got though.)
Cece: There could have been more going on. I feel like it was all this build up for almost nothing just to have the ‘Antichrist’ be born again. (Nodding my head.)
Melanie: They could have added more to some of the middle episodes. They were a bit humdrum. (Still nodding.)
Kelly: Bringing Fiona back, dammit. (I am officially becoming a bobblehead!)
Kent: To echo Kelly because I feel like I asked for it in like half of these blogs: Fiona and Axe Man. There are so many to choose from here. John Henry in general. The f’n wasteland!! Mutants could have been cool. They barely explored the apocalypse as a background in some ways. Marie LaVeau could have been given more than 3 damn minutes!! I could make this into a multi-page essay.
- Are you satisfied that this story ended up being erased due to alternate timelines, basically? Did you enjoy that we have a new antichrist?
Kristi: I did enjoy the ending. I like that Mallory got Mikey. I am also pleased that we have a new devil spawn. AHS will continue. That pleases me.
Raylene: No just made this whole season pointless so the same exact story will be told with this new antichrist
Cece: Nah. Not really. I liked the erasure but I didn’t like it ‘happening again’. Pointless.
Melanie: New Antichrist, no. I felt like they didn’t leave as many unanswered questions which is great. (You’re right, not as many unanswered questions, and the ones I do have, I don’t care about getting an answer anymore.)
Kelly: Eh, we could have kept the storyline and it wouldn’t have mattered too much but I do like that Mallory made sure her coven was alive and well to live another life. I don’t like that we have a new anti-Christ. I do like that they reunited the young lovers from the shelter, but I don’t care for that storyline with their child. (Yeah, they really didn’t give us much with the 2 younger people. I thought both would have had a bigger story considering the first 2 episodes.)
Kent: Fuck no!!! Out of everything that bothered me, this was the biggest one. This made the whole season pretty much pointless. It’s like “Hey guys, here’s 9 and a half episodes…….and it’s gone.” Then they flip us the middle finger while giving us a golden shower. Not okay!!! Just have the damn apocalypse. I am so much happier with that idea. Even if you don’t like South Park, watch this because it is beyond relevant to this season.
Bonus Deuce
- Would you like to see any other 2 seasons combined like they did this year? Even if you say no, combine 2 seasons for laughs.
Kristi: I’m going out there and saying Roanoke and Freak Show…. Bring it… and make it not suck. I just want to see twisty. (I have Twisty glasses. I only break them out for special occasions.)
Raylene: Asylum and Roanoke (As long as Quinto and O’Hare are in it, I’m sold.)
Cece: I’d love to see Freakshow tied in somewhere. Not sure where. But, I think it’s a highly underrated season. (I think you are mostly alone on Freak Show being underrated. Granted, I have it ranked 7th, but I don’t know of anybody that would rate it in the top 4. It had a lot of missteps along the way. I also think it’s a shame because thematically speaking, it was wonderful. I think they simply wasted too much time on dumb shit. I think if you consolidate it to 7 or 8 episodes, and you have an amazing season. The stupid singing parts were groan-inducing. Evan’s character was lame. I think that was probably the worst thing for me. He could have had a better role. Carnie stuff is creepy.)
Melanie: Umn, Roanoke and Cult. Cult with a total Roanoke ending. (Wasn’t the Roanoke ending the worst episode of AHS ever? I really am curious if you are trying to make Cult worse. I can’t tell.)
Kelly: Sure! Hotel and Murder House please! (I do miss Gaga, Alexandria Breckinridge, Wes Bentley, Denis O’Hare, and maybe give Cheyenne Jackson a better role. Also, Hotel is my favorite season of Paulson’s. Could Moira meet up with the Hotel maid? That would actually be amazing for me.)
Kent: I like everybody’s ideas here, well mostly. I have a few. Hotel with any of them would be interesting to me. I like the idea of Cult with Asylum, Freak Show, Hotel, or Apocalypse. All of them would have characters that could kill every last whiny asshole from the Cult season. Story-wise, Freak Show and Asylum probably gets the win, but I’d be okay with more Roanoke if we ditch the reality TV schtick and deal more with the house’s history.
- What horror theme(s) would you like to see touched on next season?
Kristi: I do love some paranormal stuff. I like the spirits and evil shit. (As long as it’s not Paranormal Activity level, I am happy. None of that and no Ghost Hunters. I would like a period piece though.)
Raylene: Inception just because it was an awful movie. (Didn’t we just have an apocalypse within a future apocalypse?)
Cece: I think Vampires or Werewolves maybe? If not, maybe more of a slasher season. (Do you think a slasher theme could carry a whole season? I don’t think so, it’s too long of a format I fear. Werewolves are typically done poorly, but if you get the right ideas, it could be fun. There was a solid 2015 film called Howl. I would recommend that. They did werewolves well there. I don’t want them to go Underworld though. One or the other, and they did vamps in Hotel, so why not wolves?)
Melanie: Prison, specifically Alcatraz and the Island. I think time travel and ghosts could be worked in easily. (I love the prison and ghosts idea. I hate time travel, unless it’s Sliders. Too much leeway for bad storytelling. The thing with the prison is that you can have so many great flashbacks for the prisoners. It’d be like Orange is the New Black, only fun.)
Kelly: Aquatic? Space? Maybe something with Twisty? (I will say that Space is a big a hell no. Only the Alien franchise has ever really done space well. In the horror genre, when a sequel goes to space, the franchise goes to hell. Leprechaun, Friday the 13th, Hellraiser, and possibly others have all tried, and most failed. I enjoyed Jason X, but I am in the vast minority. Aquatic could be good, but I fear that it would be costly. But to build off of that idea, a shipwreck and then an island with strange inhabitants with a weird culture. You know, sacrifices, spirits, angry gods, face paint, all that shit could be really fun. The first 2 episodes would be meeting the characters, definitely have some bad stuff happening, maybe somebody stole a cursed relic. I would enjoy this.)
Kent: We haven’t really delved into a torture type scenario too much. Nor have we delved into stuff like fighting for survival, game show style. I would use inspiration from films like Saw, Vile, Slashers, The Running Man, 31, Cube, and things of that nature. Every episode, someone dies. AHS in the hood would also be welcoming. I want to say slasher, but it would be too hard over the course of a ten episode season. Mysteries are good, and ghosts are a good tool to unravel the mystery. Of course, I wish they would go with my idea of an older rich couple who have a complex will. They name 6 or 8 people. These people are trapped at this big mansion/estate, and only one person can survive and get the inheritance. It would have a bit of House on Haunted Hill flavor, and also some fun backstories. You are allowed to leave at any time, but you are not allowed to re-enter. I would love to see something with minions from Hell doing cool stuff, but I felt like this season was the opportunity for that.
Final Thoughts -Was this season a success in your eyes? Not for marketing or anything like that. For you personally, was this a good season?.
Kristi: I enjoyed this season. I think they did it well. Last season, I didn’t even make it through the first episode so it was a win for me.
Raylene: Only thing I liked about this season was the character returns
Cece: Yes. I loved this season.
Melanie: Yes. This was a good season and a redeeming season to many fans.
Kelly: Other than that hiccup in episodes 8+9, yes it was a great comeback from two very rough seasons past. I still haven’t gotten past episode 3 of Cult.
Kent: It was a success in that the first 7 episodes made people feel good again. The nostalgia was real. There were more highs than lows. But the lows were bad, and I can’t understate them. Honestly, the storytelling in this was mediocre. If they didn’t have the nostalgia crutch, I think people would not be nearly as happy. That is the point though, to tell us a story using familiar faces and their rich backstory. In that regard, it was a success. Still, the whole season was just for nothing with how they ended it. I’d give this season a 6 overall. I feel it is in the middle tier of AHS seasons. You have Murder House, Coven, and Hotel at the top in some order. Then in the middle, you have Asylum, Roanoke, and Apocalypse in some order. Then you have Freak Show. And then if you dig a hole several feet deep, you can find Cult.
Finally, I want to thank everybody who contributed to the blog this year. Most of you made it the whole way through. A few had a hiccup, but all responses were welcome, even the ones I made fun of. Okay, especially the ones that I made fun of. I do it because I care and because I’m an asshole. Maybe we will be back next year. That’s a big question mark. If we do, I think it is safe to assume that we will be seeing you all again. I genuinely appreciate all of you taking time out of your schedules to indulge me in this mindless exercise of discussing horror and man ass. Thank you.
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